Articles

Shauna Hoffman is a featured writer on the FMG WOMEN’s Network.

THIS ARTICLE APPEARED IN HER COLUMN OCTOBER  2008. PRIOR TO THE ELECTION

There is a glorious new world to be discovered! It’s not some far off island or a tiny village in an uncharted land. You can’t get there by car or sailboat or jet. And you can’t hire someone to plan your trip. Some of you may take years to get there and some of you may arrive over night. But for all of you the adventure has already begun! The glorious new world to be discovered is YOU!

Issue by issue in this column we will try and navigate the hidden parts of your psyche and soul. We will play and have fun, ask questions and share answers. We will release your deepest fears and discover your greatest joys. But we can’t do it unless you come along for the ride! So…you wanna come out and play?

The first adventure we will be taking on our road to self-discovery is the concept of becoming “SELF AWARE”. Self-awareness is the first step to any self-help program. I mean, if you don’t know what you feel, know what you believe, what you desire and what you dream, how can you change? How can you grow? And most importantly, how can you be happy? Notice how I wrote the word YOU. Becoming self-aware means that you are able to differentiate what YOU feel, from what others want you to feel; what you believe from what you have been programmed to believe. It is becoming aware of your judgments and deciding that you really agree with that judgment and it fits with your true morals, ethics and values! In a nutshell…it is experiencing, discovering and living your own belief system! Now isn’t that a glorious new world to discover?

A great example I use for my clients to check their own belief system is in politics. And what better time to do this than now? Are you Republican, Democrat, Liberal, Communist, Socialist, I don’t care, because that party stands for what you truly believe in your heart? Or do you define yourself that way because that is what your parents were, your neighbors are, or your mate wants you to be? Right now I say to you that this election is an opportunity to place a vote for YOU!

So, lets try this exercise. It will be an opportunity to look deep inside yourself so see what you truly believe. Pick any political subject…women’s rights, global warming, the war, our safety, the economy…. just pick one for this experiment. Now close your eyes and listen. Think about the subject and experience what thoughts go through your head. You will hear your parents talking to you. You will hear rhetoric and slogans. You will hear newscasters and politicians. You will hear your lovers and friends and ministers and teachers. You will see flashes of the past and see images of the future. Take a moment and let them float through your mind. Now comes the fun part….give yourself permission to let those thoughts and voices disappear! That is right! Disappear, go away and dissolve into nothingness! Now…sit in silence and breath…listen….feel.

It may take a while. But eventually an incredible thing happens. You feel your heart and experience your own voice. All of a sudden you know what YOU believe about the subject. It may be scary. Some of you may even feel some guilt because you may have just realized that what you feel is different from what you were taught, or what is expected of you. Others of you may have known these were your beliefs all along but never allowed them to come to be labeled as your truth.

Here is a clue. Once you accept these values as your own true core, you have discovered a treasure! You have just found inner freedom! You have just separated out all the programming you have received in life from your true SELF. You have become SELF AWARE.

Now ladies, go into that election booth. Close the curtains, dig deep inside YOUR SELF and cast your vote for YOU.

WRITE ME AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR DISCOVERED IN YOUR NEW WORLD!

Your Traveling Partner….Shauna

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Appeared in September Issue Santa Clarita Magazine

TIME TO JOIN A GROUP!

By Shauna Hoffman, MA MFT

In this financial climate why is it that one of the first things we cut out is self-care? Why do we cancel our therapy appointments, or doctor appointments or give up the gym?  For some reason people have come to believe that self-care is selfish.  It’s not! There is a great opportunity out there to help build you up and get you through the rough times. People all over the country are turning to each other. They are sharing their stories and getting help in Therapy Groups and Support Groups. You are not alone! But what kind of group is right for you?

First let me explain the difference between therapy groups and support groups. Therapy groups are led by credentialed professionals in the field of healing; Psychotherapists, Doctors, Counselors. etc..  The work they do is more growth oriented, soul searching and reflective. For instance, Teen Groups dealing with self esteem, body image or peer pressure.  There could be couples groups that concentrate on communication, parenting or life challenges.  There are women’s groups that deal with self-expression, self-love, women’s issues etc.  The fun part about group therapy is there is an opportunity to not only learn from the group leader, but also from sharing the experiences of other members of the group.  Sometimes the biggest growth comes from realizing you are not alone in what you have experienced or how you have reacted to it. The advantage of group therapy in this economy is that its usually about 1/3 the cost of an individual session.  It’s a jump-start to personal growth!

The support group differs in that “support” is paramount to the purpose of the group. It is often run by members of a certain community wanting to offer support to someone in a particular situation.  Like a Cancer support group run by Cancer survivors, or Alcoholics Anonymous run by recovering alcoholics.  The leaders are so well researched and experienced in the topic of the group that the support you receive is often a major steppingstone to surviving the challenge you are faced with.

Whether it’s a therapy group or support group, the most important thing to look for is a place that you feel you can trust and a place where confidentiality is mandatory. You need to look for a Therapist or Group Leader that is knowledgeable in the field and is an experienced group leader. Then what YOU bring to the table is your commitment to the group and to your own healing. If you do, the group can help you experience one of the most inspiring parts of the human spirit; the ability to help another as you help yourself! You are not alone!

For more information on groups led by Shauna Hoffman, MA, MFT visit www.compassionatesolutionsscv.com or call 661- 714-5137

Appeared in Dec 2008 Issue Santa Clarita Magazine

THE GIFT OF YOU

2008 has been a year of challenges. We have struggled through adversity, been asked to check our morals ethics and beliefs. Many have had their livelihoods and homes threatened, and many of us have had to realize that the status quo is not so solid Things change. But there is a great realization that is coming from this. It’s the realization that the people in your lives and the way you live your life are more important and more lasting than any material thing. That new realization is the “present” you can give yourself and everyone around you Holiday 2008. In therapy we call it a change in perception. This season is the perfect time to look inside and ask yourself what all of this really means to you. Let all of the commercials, ads and expectations from others and of others go. Now try to decide what a “GIFT” really means to you.

When you search for the perfect “present” to give someone think about what the people you love really need.

This is what I see come through my office door. Kids who say they want this toy or that toy, but all they really want is Dad to come out and play with them for an hour. I have teens that pretend they don’t want to be around their parents, but all they really want is their parents to hear them, acknowledge them and understand them for just one instant. I have parents that crave to balance out their lives to spend more time with their families, yet they just can’t figure out how to do it. I have Moms that just need one hour of time alone to regroup so that they can give back to their families all they need. I see people reaching out to change the world but not taking a moment to change themselves. I see people wanting true gifts… that do not come in a box.

Holiday Season 2008 is an opportunity to see the people in your life and what GIFT would really bring them peace, happiness and joy. After all isn’t that what all of the cards say we want? Reach inside you and find what a “gift” means to you. A beautiful thing will happen. You will see the lights!