WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…
Hello everyone. This is Shauna Hoffman. Welcome. I thought and thought today about what this podcast should be about and it became very obvious to me as our country is going through so much stress about the Coronavirus. I wanted to make today’s session about handling stress during a crisis, especially if you’re alone. So whether you are listening to this podcast now or a year from now, my hope is to give you so many tools to navigate stress in your life. Many of you have a partner or a roommate or a family member with you, but there are many people right now who are alone or single caring for their children or elders. We know that in a crisis we turn to those around us and for so many it’s a partner, but this is Guy Free Working on Me. So if for this podcast, I am the one to be there for you, then I am honored.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED…
• Guy Free Podcast: https://guyfree.com
• Guy Free Facebook Group: https://guyfreeworkingonme.com
• Shauna’s website: https://www.workingonme.com
KEYNOTES DISCUSSED:
• When you are in crisis, I want you to give yourself permission to break that boundary. You usually set up for yourself or that definition of hero, mom, hero, daughter, hero, neighbor, hero, woman. For once, let someone else be your hero. (02:48)
• Remember, stress is when you feel out of control. What can you do right now to take back your control from whatever is causing you stress. Call someone. Make a list right now with the people who will be there for you. (04:04)
• Don’t let them pull you down into depression, but that’s self-awareness. Becoming self aware of your thoughts and your feelings and why you feel a certain way. Look at those feelings, process them, and then let them go. (05:43)
• Exercise and breath all at the same time. Come on, talk about a way to get rid of all that adrenaline and help you to remember how to breathe. (07:22)
• Give yourself permission, permission to sleep, permission to write that novel. Permission to binge watch a show, permission to do that. Yoga at home or pushups. Permission to go walk the dog or watch dog training videos and have the best train mutt in the hood. Permission to help others. (09:38)
WHEN DOES IT AIR…
March 21, 2020
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT…
Hello and welcome to Guy Free Working on Me. A woman’s journey to self-awareness. This is a great moment in your life, a moment where you have decided to stop taking care of everyone else and to start to take care of yourself. Stick with me through these podcasts, and you will take the best ride of your life. So, Guy Free Working on Me is not meant to be a permanent lifestyle, whether you’re single or in a relationship. As you listen to these podcasts, this is meant to be a moment in your life where you learn how to stop basing your worth, your happiness, and your self-esteem on having a man at your side. This is going to be an all-out redesigning the who you are, who you want to be, and what you feel inside. Are you ready? Let’s go.
Hello everyone. This is Shauna Hoffman. Welcome. I thought and thought today about what this podcast should be about and it became very obvious to me as our country is going through so much stress about the Coronavirus. I wanted to make today’s session about handling stress during a crisis, especially if you’re alone. So whether you are listening to this podcast now or a year from now, my hope is to give you so many tools to navigate stress in your life. Many of you have a partner or a roommate or a family member with you, but there are many people right now who are alone or single caring for their children or elders. We know that in a crisis we turn to those around us and for so many it’s a partner, but this is Guy Free Working on Me. So if for this podcast, I am the one to be there for you, then I am honored.
Right now our country, our towns and our friends are reeling from the fears of this virus. The challenge for all of us is that it’s a situation where we feel out of control. There aren’t clear answers for us anywhere. So our body and our minds are going into stress mode. We’re in what we call fight or flight mode. Fight or flight comes from the inability to manage a situation. It’s the feeling of being out of control of a situation, shortness of breath, headaches, stomach aches, panic attacks, and so much more. Right now it seems that the entire world is in fight or flight mode. Problem is right now. We can’t fight this and we can’t flee from it. So take a deep breath and let me walk you through some things to help. No, really, I didn’t want you to take a deep breath right now. Take a nice slow breath and exhale it.
First of all, you’re not alone. You may be alone in your apartment or in your house as you hunker down and stay at home. But right now there’s a world of people willing to support those in need. The first thing you can control is the ability to ask for help. Oh yeah, here we go. Women think we can take care of everyone and then when it’s time to ask for help for ourselves, we don’t. When you are in crisis, I want you to give yourself permission to break that boundary. You usually set up for yourself or that definition of hero, mom, hero, daughter, hero, neighbor, hero, woman. For once, let someone else be your hero. I can hear some women sang right now that they don’t know where to turn for help. Okay? Go to websites or apps like next door or local community, online papers to see who and what organizations are there to help.
This week with the Coronavirus, I’m seeing people offer to go grocery shopping or get on the phone and talk to people who feel alone. There are support groups for single women, single moms, seniors, Facebook groups, online meetup groups, or ask your adult children or your family. I know for many of you, this has never been something that you have done, you know, reached out for help, but I promise you this is one way that you can actually take back your control, okay? If you are alone at home and feel lonely because you don’t have a family or partner to lean on. I am here to believe in you to help yourself. Remember, stress is when you feel out of control. What can you do right now to take back your control from whatever is causing you stress. Call someone. Make a list right now with the people who will be there for you.
Make a list of people who will get on the phone with you and help you feel supported. Start a group text with other women who are in your same position. You may be alone in your home, but you don’t have to feel cut off from the world. And believe me, if you need this group text thread, so do a bunch of other ladies. Okay, let me touch on something very important. This time of mandatory isolation, safer at home, whatever they want to call it may bring up a whole lot of issues for you. Ones that you thought you were over already. So right now I’m giving you permission to be pissed or sad that you don’t have a partner in your life. You may also find yourself mad at your last mate because he’s not there. It can make you sad, angry, melancholy, or lonely.
Let me say this right now. If you’re lonely or sad, reach out to a friend. This is a time when you cannot let yourself spiral into depression. For those of you who are in mourning over the loss of a past love, this holds especially true, okay? All of those feelings, I don’t want you to deny any of them. I want you to feel them, process them, and then find a way to get out of them, to let them go. Don’t let them pull you down into depression, but that’s self-awareness. Becoming self aware of your thoughts and your feelings and why you feel a certain way. Look at those feelings, process them, and then let them go. All right, back to checking your breath. Are you holding it right now? Are you taking normal, nice deep reps or you’re taking shallow once? Take a nice slow breath right now. A nice slow one and exhale it. Good.
Now there’s another set of ladies out there. Those of you that are actually relieved that you’re not with your past partner in a time of crisis because it’s just one more person you’d be taking care of and not getting the help back. I remember when I told you in the last podcast that I want you to mourn the reality, not the fantasy. This is a moment when I want you to be honest with yourself to see that maybe you being alone right now is more perfect than anything. Relationship problems are one of the first things that raise their heads screaming during a crisis, so maybe you are one of the lucky ones being guy free working on me. Okay, now let’s take another nice breath.
What else can you control your home? Make it as comfy as you can right now, like candles, play music, or turn on every light in the house to brighten your space. You can control your health. Okay, you’re hanging out at home. Maybe it’s time to do that yoga video that you’ve been saying you were going to do. Exercise and breath all at the same time. Come on, talk about a way to get rid of all that adrenaline and help you to remember how to breathe. Yoga walks, exercise, dance, put on your favorite dance music, cut loose. Ladies, you can also control how you feel about yourself right now. Think about waking up and what are you going to put on to wear today? For some people, feeling good means not hanging around in your sweats or your PJ’s. It means getting up and dressed the way you would on a normal day.
For others like me, I cannot wait to spend the day in my sweats with no makeup on. All of this may seem mundane or simple, but it’s not giving yourself a sense of normalcy. Sent a message to you that things are okay. Another thing that you can control instead of feeling controlled by is your time and your expectations of yourself. When time seems to be out of our control, our stress goes off the chart. As we are maneuvering this coronavirus. One thing that it is given to so many people is time, time to do the things you’ve wanted to do or time. Finally, to do nothing. Time to chill. Read a book, binge on a show. Remember though, you want to control your emotions. Pick those books, TV shows, and more with a lot of care. Personally for me, when I’m stressed, I need comedies. I need comedy books.
I need comedy movies. So make a list of some of the things that you might want to read or watch that you’ve been dying to do. I have a friend that calls what we’re going through right now, the gift of time. Enjoy it. Don’t put pressures on yourself to accomplish anything. If you’re inspired to do something, go for it. But don’t add stress to your life by giving yourselves anything to do, but giving yourself permission. Give yourself permission, permission to sleep, permission to write that novel. Permission to binge watch a show, permission to do that. Yoga at home or pushups. Permission to go walk the dog or watch dog training videos and have the best train mutt in the hood. Permission to help others. Take a breath and now I want you to take a breath and let out a nice big sigh. Ah, okay.
Let me check in on some of you that normally might have some OCD or anxiety to begin with. Being home with no schedule may actually exacerbate your anxiety. You may actually need a schedule to make you feel in control or maybe goals. Even if you’re at home. It might bring down your anxiety to schedule your day. One were isolated for any reason. The hours tend to slip by or for others. They just drag on forever. Take a moment of self-awareness right now and see if you’re the type of person that would do better with a schedule for your day or if permission to have no schedule feels better. Then do just that. Most importantly, I want you to give yourself permission to ask for help if you need it, and permission to take such loving care of yourself. Again, how do we bring down stress? We realize and take action on what we can control in our lives when all else seems uncontrollable. Think about this. When this podcast ends in a second, I want you to think about all of the things that you can control in your life right now. And then breathe, breathe. Breath is a reminder that you are still alive and you are now. Ladies, go, go. Be good to yourself, honor yourself, love yourself, and remember you are not alone.
Thank you for joining me today on the Guy Free podcast. My hope is that you leave this podcast inspired, fired up and ready to take that next step on the magical journey of self-awareness, and then you come back and join us again. Oh, and if you can do me a quick favor, please leave me a five-star review over on iTunes. I gained so much from reading the reviews and getting feedback from my listeners. Each week I’m going to choose one special person who’s left me a review to win my book Guy Free Working on Me. That was the book that started it all. Make sure you add your name to the review, and I’ll reach out to you if you’re the winner. Thanks again for spending your time with me today. Be sure to visit me on the Guy Free Working on Me Facebook page, and on WorkingonMe.com for past episodes and insight into the fabulous journey to you.