WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…
Hello everyone! I’m Shauna Hoffman. I just wanted to thank you for giving me a couple of weeks off by listening to a few reprieve episodes. I’ve been trying to practice a little self-care for myself. You know the old saying physician heal thyself? I thought today we would delve into the idea that often times when we’re in the middle of a stressful point in our lives we feel like it’s never going to end and will go on forever. Whether it’s something as small as the fight with your best friend to a fight with your partner or your mother… to something as profound as losing someone that we love, we tend to get in this muck and mire and we feel like we’ll never get out of it. Talk about depression! I thought today what we would do is work through some really amazing tools to help us remember that this too shall pass.
LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED…
• Guy Free Podcast: https://guyfree.com
• Guy Free Facebook Group: https://guyfreeworkingonme.com
• Shauna’s website: https://www.workingonme.com
WHEN DOES IT AIR…
July 11, 2020
EPISODE TRANSCRIPT…
Hello everyone! I’m Shauna Hoffman. I just wanted to thank you for giving me a couple of weeks off by listening to a few reprieve episodes. I’ve been trying to practice a little self-care for myself. You know the old saying physician heal thyself? I thought today we would delve into the idea that often times when we’re in the middle of a stressful point in our lives we feel like it’s never going to end and will go on forever. Whether it’s something as small as the fight with your best friend to a fight with your partner or your mother… to something as profound as losing someone that we love, we tend to get in this muck and mire and we feel like we’ll never get out of it. Talk about depression! I thought today what we would do is work through some really amazing tools to help us remember that this too shall pass.
One of the first things to remember is that you’re entitled to have bad moments and bad days. You’re entitled to hurt. But It’s the feelings of hopelessness or helplessness that cause you to be your biggest enemy.
Now let’s be honest. There are often huge life-changing situations that are out of our control that make it so very hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel. How many of us know someone who has lost their home in a storm or fire? The devastation of that kind of wound goes so very deep. It is our safety, our lives, our history, our belongings, our seeming future. How does one rise above something as devastating as that?
It sounds so pedestrian, or philosophical but the truth is you have no choice but to work through the sadness. And these feelings change at every moment. The first thing I allow is the space to hurt. The space to acknowledge your losses and how you FEEL about them! Then I try and help my clients to see “this too shall pass”. It sounds so cold-hearted… so I don’t actually use those words. But I try to help them start looking forward. This too shall pass is actually filled with hope. It is not discounting where you are at. It is knowing you are in it, but one day you will be beyond it. I try and help them see the hope in their futures. If they are not ready for hope I have to make sure that they are not sinking more into the depths of sadness. Acknowledging it, feeling it is one thing. But getting stuck in the feelings of hopelessness will be worse than anything that you have gone through. Eventually, you have to start to look up. Because YOU are the only one who can save you. YOU. When we lose our power in a situation we have to find a way to get our power back.
When we lose a relationship it’s the same… whether it is a friend, lover, whether it was through a fight or through someone passing. You have to acknowledge the hurt, the sadness, the anger, the fear, and sit with it until it no longer gives anything back to you. Let me say that again… you sit with it until it no longer gives anything back to you! When sitting with those feelings are no longer part of the healing process but become part of your own destruction it is time to take you back your power. Eventually, those feelings sink you. It takes you deep into a black hole. It keeps you on the wheel of suffering. Taking back your power is the only way out. That is the only way up.
I should change it from this too shall pass to… this too shall pass if I find a way to rise above it. If I heal myself!
At some point, you have to CHOOSE to take your power back. Choosing your power means choosing your ability for self-awareness. It means choosing to reach out for help to get the tools you need to rise above the situation. It means to do your internal work and find ways to heal your wounds instead of letting those wounds fester and grow. At some moment they are no longer helping you. They are hurting you. And often the way we hurt ourselves is much worse than whatever the transgression was against us.
Steps! Lets gently go through the steps for you to pull yourself up and out of the mire.
Let’s start with self-awareness! First, you have to acknowledge your emotions around the situation. Are you sad? Are you angry? Are you afraid? Are you jealous? Are you embarrassed? Are you hurt? Do you feel guilty? Do you feel frustrated? Do you feel lonely or alone?
Big question to ask yourself…Are my feelings part of my healing, or part of my own destruction?
If you can really become aware of ALL of the feelings you are going through you can work through each of them. Again, working on me means working on ME! The best way that I can help you is to help you look at your innermost feelings and emotions and ACKNOWLEDGE THEM! Write them down! Journal about them. Scream them to the rafters!
Next. After you have listed them all and screamed about them decide which ones no longer are doing service to you. Which ones are keeping you from feeling hope and rising up again? Which ones are stealing your power from you?
Is the anger really helping you anymore?
Are the tears bringing you deeper into depression?
Is the fear stopping you from taking the steps you need to move forward?
Now the next step is the hardest and the most exciting. That is finding the way back up. Finding the tools that fit for you.
I did a whole podcast on forgiveness, episode 14. The Gift of Forgiveness. This to me is the crux of all jump-starts to rising up again! Forgiving the person in your own mind who hurt you, or left you. Forgiving the earth or God or the universe for taking something or someone from you. Forgiving that person who passed away for leaving you. Forgiving yourself for what you feel you have done to hurt another person. Forgiving yourself for how you got into this place in the first place. I cannot tell you how healing it is to finally forgive yourself for what you think you did or what you didn’t do in your life. If you have not listened to it I urge you to go listen to podcast #14 The Gift of Forgiveness.
More tools!
I have artists that take back their power by infusing their art, music, dance, film, writing, poetry with all of the emotions they want to get rid of. Or going in the opposite direction! Faking it till they make it! Creating beautiful happy joy-filled art, poetry, music to lift them up!
Then there are affirmations, that you all should know by now are one of my favorite forms of reprogramming negative thinking. I will give you some at the end of this podcast.
There are people whose hope is regained from their spirituality or religion. Delving deep into this can be an amazing change in perception. Delving into new forms of spirituality and mind thought like Buddhism, the teachings of Yogananda, or of a present-day teacher like Deepak Chopra or Eckhart Tolle or Brene Brown or Don Miguel Ruiz or Michael Singer. Read self-help books!
Better yet, write your own book! Writing your journey is an amazing way to get from where you are to where you want to be.
I love this one so much. Giving back.
Giving back is truly one of the best ways to dig yourself out of a sinking situation! See if you can find a way to give back in the area that you need to heal from! If you are wounded from an abusive partner give back to a woman’s organization. Or save abused animals! Truly! Saving an animal is one of the most soul reviving things in life you can do. I don’t even mean to adopt one. You can work with just about any kind of rescue from dog and cat rescues to dolphin rescues, turtle rescues, owl or bird rescues. The list goes on and on. When we give back it triggers endorphins in us that lift our spirits. We get to take our minds off of our own suffering to see the bigger picture in life. Volunteer anywhere you can! In any way that you can!
Ok, let me leave you with some affirmations of hope.
Why affirmations?
As Gandhi once said…
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
And your destiny is the ultimate goal of the journey to self-awareness!
Here are some simple ones. But I would love you to write your own. Writing your own affirmations are more powerful than reading any written by someone else.
1. If I am willing to look up in hope I know that this situation will work out in the end for my inner good.
2. I choose today to let go of the past and embrace all the beauty and love that awaits me now.
3. I know that I feel deeply. So I can feel joy just as deeply and all-encompassing as any other emotion!
4. Hope is a well that I choose to drink from today.
5. I am willing to learn my lessons from my mistakes. For if I learn my lessons then I know my life will be a place where I can heal and be happy.
6. I choose to forgive others. But more importantly, I choose to forgive myself.
7. My future is filled with wonder, beauty, and love. I don’t know where it is coming from yet, but I know it’s on its way to me.
8. Guilt is a useless emotion! So I choose to release it now!
9. I deserve to be loved no matter what errors I have made. For through love all things are forgiven.
10. Today is today…
I am going to leave you with that last one for you to really think about. Today is today.
Now have a wonderful soul-filled healing happy healthy week! Be good to yourselves! I thank you beautiful beings for joining me and I look forward to popping into your lives again next week.