Shauna — Page 2

Expect The Unexpected

May 1, 2024 By Shauna

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

Are you ready for the unexpected? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Many of you know this, and some of you don’t know. I own another business called Whodunit. It started as a mystery theater company turned into a mystery cruise company, turned into a giant event cruising business. I have been lucky enough to cruise over 200 times in my life, all over the world. And our Whodunit motto is, “expect the unexpected”! So I thought, what a perfectly fun motto and life hack I have been living for the last 40 years to talk about today.

To expect the unexpected can be anything! The unexpected could be some amazing gift that you receive, or a relationship you never expected to have, or you win the lottery! Or the unexpected could be a glitch in your life, or something went wrong in your day. The unexpected can either be looked at as a good thing or a challenge. Well, I want to kind of look at it today just as the unexpected. Neither good nor bad!

OK, this motto goes right along with living in the present. It means that you stay exactly where you are and expect that you never know what’s gonna happen next. I guess it could also be, expect nothing and see what comes. Or, expect that you will be able to handle whatever comes. Good, bad, challenging, fun, crazy, miraculous.

So how do you take the next step and stay flexible? First you breathe. Then you assess. Then you have to gather all of your mind skills and awareness of the situation to look forward, not back, to change or adjust your plan. Even the best, unexpected events still need us to adjust our day or our thoughts or our emotions or our future.

There is a skill, or perception or attitude that I try to embrace in these moments. It’s maintaining a positive attitude. If I can do this even in the worst circumstances I can remember that I am a resilient person. I always get back up.

This is not so easy for everyone.

OK, this is going out to my listeners who may have depression or anxiety or be Type A personality, who feel more comfortable when they can control a situation. Embracing expect the unexpected will be most difficult for you. Anxiety comes from the inability to control the situation in your mind. And in order to stay open enough to expect the unexpected and be resilient you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything in your life. And for so many of you, this is the biggest challenge. The hardest part for this kind of personality is keeping a positive mindset. And how the heck do you do that if a new situation is making you feel fearful or nervous or anxious?

The first thing you have to do is let go of the idea and expectations that you had of the situation in the first place That situation has changed or it can change at a drop of the hat and there is no going back. While you’re in the situation and trying to manage it, you can’t start playing over all the things you did wrong. Instead you face forward and you open your mind to use all of that creativity and insight we talked about. Stay in the moment you are in and figure out how to take just one step. One step towards handling the situation.

Now here is a whole ‘nother way to think about expecting the unexpected. I always thought my husband worried too much about some thing that was going to happen while we made plans. His answer to me was, a “I’m not worrying. I am preparing for anything that could happen in this situation.” Well that made a lot of sense and I understood that his emotions weren’t wrapped up in preparing for it. He really wasn’t worrying. He was just preparing. So check yourself and see if you’re worried about something that is coming up in your life? Or are you preparing for it? And then be ready to throw everything out the window. Because if you have prepared for it, then it is not unexpected! And this whole episode is expect the unexpected!

Obviously, there are going to be times when the unexpected is something really difficult or heartbreaking, a loss of someone or something profound. Those are probably some of the most unexpected things that happen in our life. So for those situations keeping a positive mindset is very difficult. And I wouldn’t expect it of you. But the tools that you have in that situation are the ones that will help you get through. First you get support from everyone in your life that can be there for you. Next you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being as you try to navigate this unexpected event. Being adaptable! Realizing that as a human, you really are adaptable even when you feel like you cannot move. Remembering that you have the power and eventually the strength to move forward with the support of your friends and family or professionals and do it with self-care. Eventually, you will have a change in perspective. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual book of psychology and it says that a miracle is a change in perception. You might not have that as you are in the situation but eventually your peace will come from a change in perspective and perception around the unexpected that happened in your life. In times like this, because I study the course, I just sit down and close my eyes and ask for a miracle. I am asking for a change in perception. One that will bring me just a little bit of peace.

OK now let’s have some fun and talk about the mindset behind expecting the unexpected and being ready for wonderful, amazing, miraculous, fun, wildly entertaining things to show up in your life. Things that you never expected. This is the mentality that people have when we say that they look at life with their glass half full instead of glass half empty. Admittedly, I am one of those people. I am always waiting for the miraculous to show up in my life each day. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself what is today going to bring me? I know what I have planned for the day, but the universe works in mysterious ways and my motto is expect the unexpected. So what is the unexpected gonna bring me today? Try it right now! You know what the rest of your day is supposed to be. Now say to yourself, “I expect the unexpected! I can’t wait to see what today will bring me!!”

Our minds are programmed! And believe me when I say that you can reprogram them! You can reprogram yourself to think positively instead of negatively. You can ask yourself how thinking negatively is helping you in your life and instead you can say, I choose another way. And then start practicing, practicing, practicing every day to look at the world with your glass half full. Then wait for that thing that is going to fill it all the way up!

My mom was a holocaust survivor. She was in Auschwitz from the age of 11 to 13, after her family was all killed. Yet my mom was one of the most joyous and positive people I have ever known. I used to say, “Mom you wear rose colored glasses”. And her answer to me was, “I know, I put them on.” Wow,v that said it all! She could’ve looked at her life as a glass half empty. Instead, she not only looked at it as half full, she looked at it as overflowing.

And thankfully, that is what she taught me!

I think for my mom it came from one word. Gratitude. She had so much gratitude for her life and that she survived, that it kept her looking forward in her life instead of looking back. It kept her staying in the moment instead of living in the past. And it kept her appreciating everything in her life instead of seeing what she no longer had.

To expect the unexpected means that you look for the silver lining in everything that happens in your life. It is also looking towards each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you.

Wow! Let me say that again! It is looking at each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you! I love the words, I deserve!

Right now, I want you to say this to yourself, I deserve wonderful things in my life.

I deserve magical things to happen to me today.

I deserve happiness, joy, fun, and miracles!

Then, after you turn off this podcast today, I want you to write a full page of everything that you deserve in life! And remember, you may not believe it yet, but this will be the beginning of reprogramming your mind and putting on your rose colored glasses!

I love this quote by Rhonda Byrne
There is a truth, deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this… you deserve all good things life has to offer.

So today if you are going to expect the unexpected, I hope you expect all good things that life has to offer.

My beautiful listeners, please be good to yourself, drink, lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings, get lots of rest, go out and have fun, and expect the unexpected!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time

Heartstrings and Happiness – The Art Of Giving Back

April 24, 2024 By Shauna

Whenever I have a client who is sad or unhappy or lonely, or still hasn’t found a purpose that brings them joy, or they are new in a town or city and haven’t met new people, and they come to me for help, the first thing I suggest is to find a place to volunteer. I know my clients who are listening to this have heard it from me so many times.

This holds especially true for people who suffer from depression. Why? When you volunteer it is an opportunity, a moment, or afternoon or week to not think about yourself! It gives you just a little time to try and help “a cause”. And by doing that it shifts your focus and perspective to such a huge degree that inevitably it starts to help you feel better. When you are in depression or feel lonely, you tend to circle back to negative thoughts and emotions about yourself And your life. But giving back can change that!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I am Shauna Hoffman. Today is going to be a short episode because I have spent the last week volunteering for the dog rescue that I work with. So I thought rather than not doing one at all, I would do one and wrap it around what an amazing experience it has been for me volunteering this week.

And there is biology behind this! When a person is generous or altruistic, it creates a response in the brain that taps into positive emotions. Doctors believe that the brain produces and then releases neurotransmitters and hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. All chemicals that help us feel pleasure and happiness.

People think I’m crazy because even though I have three careers, I still volunteer. I am Vice President of Southland Collie Rescue in California. Saving Lassies. Saving animals is a huge passion for me that has personally changed my life, my perspective on the world, and on humanity. It has brought me a circle of friends that I adore and feel are just like me. Without a doubt, some of my closest friends have come from the work that I do in animal rescue.

It seems that no matter how exhausted I am, if I get a text or an email, or a private message about a dog that needs my help I can’t help but find the time to help rescue that collie.

Maybe it’s helping something that is so helpless themself. Maybe it’s my absolute passion with dogs and the joy they bring to our world. Maybe it’s that it gives me a break from my normal routine and business goals and is such a difference from helping humans that it draws me in. But one thing I know for sure, it absolutely takes me away from all of my own issues or challenges, exhaustion from work, worries, stress that I’m dealing with and let’s me focus on something so pure and egoless as a dog. And somehow, miraculously, it actually jumpstarts me and gives me back tenfold the energy I’m putting out. When I see a dog’s life saved, the joy I feel is overwhelming.

Animal rescue is only one way of giving back to humanity and the world. Volunteering and finding what moves your heart and soul is different for everyone. It could be something saving the planet that grabs your heart. It could be working with the elderly or foster children, or even a youth basketball team, or community project. it could be volunteering for your church or temple, it could be making food for the homeless. It could be getting kids out on a golf course and teaching them how to golf.

And it doesn’t have to be something so altruistic that it may change the world. When we take our dogs on Sunday mornings to walk in our town, we always come across this couple who are walking the pathways with one of those grabber tools and a bag picking up trash. Nobody has asked them to do it. They’re not getting any accolades for doing it. They’re doing it because it makes them feel good. I have a group of friends who are accomplished sci-fi writers. They have started podcasting and sharing all of their knowledge of writing for free, Hundreds of podcasts teaching writers how to accomplish their dreams.

Giving back to people, or your community or our world doesn’t need to be with an organization. It can be you buying a bouquet of flowers and giving it to a stranger, or your elderly neighbor, or a police officer or mailman you see. It is a selfless act of giving.

For a long time, before I had time to volunteer someplace, I would fill bags that I had gotten at a convention with all kinds of stuff a homeless person may need. I kept it in my trunk and if I saw someone I would stop and give it to them. Often they never said a word and just took it. That was fine! I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it for them. Not everyone has time to volunteer. But everyone, no matter who you are or where you are can give back. Even if it just trying to make someone smile today.

Another thing I love to do during Girl Scout cookie season, when they are selling outside a store, is to buy a box and tell the Girl Scout to give it to the next person they see that looks like they need to smile. I love to watch them search someone’s face to see who needs a smile. I got back! The Girl Scout got back and the person who got the cookies got back!

The idea of volunteering means you are not getting paid. You are choosing to be someplace and offer your energy with no expectations of anything personally in return.

But you do get so much in return. Like Connection, Community. Volunteering allows you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for making a difference. It’s one of the best ways to meet people that you would have something in common with. Without a doubt it’s such a wonderful opportunity for someone who doesn’t feel like they have a support system in their life or friends that they have something in common with. Or they just feel a bit lonely.

We have talked so much about finding our purpose in life. Well, very often our purpose has nothing to do with a vocation. Often times our purpose is fulfilled by looking at what brings us joy and sharing it with others. Or, we look at what we feel needs to change in the world and try to do our part to help make that happen.

This episode is not about lecturing anyone to go out and volunteer or give back. But once again it’s an opportunity to become self-aware if there is something missing in your life. Or becoming self-aware that the things that you’re doing to bring down your depression or anxiety, or loneliness aren’t working and you need something else. And maybe just maybe giving back to someone, some thing or some cause is all you need.

There is another situation or personality type that could benefit from giving back. Maybe you’re one of those who has become so wrapped up in your own ego and life, belongings, and stuff that you need a reality check. You need to find some level of compassion or increased empathy. Maybe you need a new understanding of the challenges that someone else or a different community might be experiencing. Sometimes we just have to get out of our cushy lives, our quote unquote perfect self to see firsthand the struggles and needs of others. And I can’t think of any better way to do that than volunteering. There is nothing more eye opening than having a change in perception about your own life by seeing how others live.

So here in lies the joy of volunteering. You are not only doing it for the cause, You are actually doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because somehow that one place where you’re volunteering, or giving back is making you feel just that much better about your life, your purpose, and your perception of the world.

I also believe wholeheartedly that volunteering sets an amazing example for your children and those around you. My grandchildren watch me do rescue work all the time. We had been saving coins for my grandson to do something special like a karate class or buy something for himself for his birthday. And when that time came around, I asked him what he wanted. And at eight years old, he said to me, I think we should give it to a dog rescue. You can imagine the look on my face; pride, shock and unbelievable love. That gesture was going to bring him more pleasure… than a toy.

Compassion can be taught to our children. Each person’s life that you touch when you volunteer starts to heal our world.

Martin Luther King said,

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?”

Elizabeth Andrew says,

“Volunteers do not necessarily have the time, they have the heart.”

If this episode has touched you in anyway or sparked any curiosity about how you can give back then jump on the internet and search up volunteer opportunities in your town. Or, list all of the things that you are passionate about and love to do and see if there’s a way to share it with someone else…FOR FREE!.

So my last quote today is one of my favorites by Sherry Anderson,

“Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless.”

To all my beautiful listeners, be kind to yourself, take care of your body, and your mind and your heart! Surround yourself with beautiful beings, give and see how much you receive in return!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again the next time.

Limitless Horizons! Your Future Unleashed

April 17, 2024 By Shauna

Today we’re going to have the absolute pleasure and fun in designing your ideal future! Years ago, I did my thesis on something called the Idealized Systems Design. What it is is a system that helps you create an ideal future for yourself. And what ideal means is, it could be anything in the world you want! No conditions, no holds barred. Nothing that says you can’t do it!

We are all part of systems. We’re part of a family system. We’re part of a community system. You may be part of a work system, or a creative system, or a charity system. We live in a world built of systems. And in truth you are a system your self! Your system is made up of your body, your health, your habits, your dreams. All of this creates the life you are experiencing. So part of the fun of creating an idealized systems design is looking at the system you are in and seeing what you need to change in order to reach your ideal future.

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we’re going to have the absolute pleasure and fun in designing your ideal future! Years ago, I did my thesis on something called the Idealized Systems Design. What it is is a system that helps you create an ideal future for yourself. And what ideal means is, it could be anything in the world you want! No conditions, no holds barred. Nothing that says you can’t do it! That concept in itself is something that creates so much anxiety within us. Because we believe that there are restrictions to anything we can truly have in our future. “Oh, I will never have that kind of job, or partner, or money, or home. That will never happen”. So when we talk today, we are going to talk about creating your IDEAL future! No holds barred!

The other word that I love in idealized systems design is the word systems. We are all part of systems. We’re part of a family system. We’re part of a community system. You may be part of a work system, or a creative system, or a charity system. We live in a world built of systems. And in truth you are a system your self! Your system is made up of your body, your health, your habits, your dreams. All of this creates the life you are experiencing. So part of the fun of creating an idealized systems design is looking at the system you are in and seeing what you need to change in order to reach your ideal future.

The amazing actress Lupita Nyongo says, “Dreaming is a glimpse of the thing you want to do that would make you feel most alive. A dream is a portal to your purpose.”

Wow wow wow! I love that so much because so often we don’t feel like we have found our purpose. I know we spoke about this in another podcast. So let’s say that if we do some ideal future dreaming today, perhaps it will guide you to your purpose in life.

An ideal future is a highly subjective concept. It varies greatly from person to person based on your individual values, your aspirations, and of course your current circumstances. The best part of today’s podcast is we’re going to actually use your presence circumstances to catapult you into the future of your dreams.

So let’s talk about that for a second. So many people look at the future and see it as something totally different from the present that they are living in. What we’re going to do today is look at every part of your present system, your present life, your present knowledge, your present support system, and we’re going to see how all of that can be used to create your ideal future. We are not going to judge your present life. We are going to help you embrace it, and dissect it to see what you want to change and manifest moving forward.

OK, this is a short podcast. And normally when I do this with my clients, it’s an eight week process of exploration, introspection and excitement. So we’re gonna try to do that in the next 10 minutes.

Consider this a jumping off point. Then over the next few days or weeks you can use this as a workshop to create your dream life.

Let me first reflect back on the last five episodes of this season, which is all about changing up the rhythm of your life. I hope that by now you have realized that you don’t need to stay stuck in whatever your current life situation is if you’re willing to change it up, look at yourself, and realize you deserve it.

The amazing Maya Angelou says, “If one is lucky, a solitary fantasy can totally transform 1 million realities!”

So let’s do this! Get out some paper and pencil or pen, or a giant chalkboard and make a circle on the far left of your page. In that circle I want you to list your present life. How old are you where do you live, are you in a relationship, what is your health like, Where are you working if you’re working? Do you volunteer? Do you have animals? Are you a caretaker for anyone? Then start listing all of the personality traits that you love and are confident about in your present life. I’m adventurous, I am creative, I’m a deep thinker, I’m playful, I get stuck in the past, I am spiritual, I’m not spiritual, I am a conservative thinker, I like to think outside the box, I am a liberal or conservative or not political at all. I want you to list all that you possibly can about yourself today. I have back problems, I am really healthy, I love doing yoga, I hate exercise, I am a triathlon athlete, I love to travel, I have five children, I have no children, I own a house, I live in an apartment, I have an old beat up Volkswagen, I drive a Lexus, I drive a bus.

Normally for this part alone I have my client think about it for an entire week. You can see that it takes time to actually look at your life today and see who you are what you believe in, how you live, what you feel, what your support system is what your successes are.

So you can see this podcast is going to be merely a model for what I want you to work on for as long as you are willing to.

Now before we move on to the next part, which is your ideal future, I want you to think about this. An ideal future is a vision that encompasses various aspects of life, where an individual feels a sense of balance, purpose, and joy. It’s a future where one’s values, passions, and aspirations come together to create a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling.

What you’re going to find is some of these you already have! And some of these you need to put as goals in your ideal future in order to truly be happy.

OK, the next part normally takes one week, two weeks, three weeks to do. I want you to draw on that same piece of paper all the way on the right hand side, another circle, and in that circle I want you to list all that you dream of in your future. If you want, you can make it one year from now or two years from now or five years from now. But I want you to look at where you are now and write down what you want in your future.

I want to live on an island in the Caribbean. I want to own a ski lodge in Colorado. I want to be retired living in my current house and volunteering to rescue animals. I want to buy a farm and grow fresh vegetables. I want my company to be a $1 million company. I want to be in a healthy relationship. I want to have healed a hurt from my past. I want my body to be healthy again. I want to speak three languages. I want to work for myself. I don’t want to work anymore at all! I want to become a vegetarian. I want to become a professional salsa dancer. I want to go back to school and get my masters degree or PhD or bachelors or high school diploma! I want to publish my book, or my screenplay or start a whole new business involving something that I’m passionate about.

The trick to this circle is to have so much fun, no holds barred writing absolutely anything and everything that you want! No limitations in your thought. Forgetting anything anyone ever told could or could not happen in your life.

If you have resistance here, it’s understandable. It’s all of those voices in your head, saying you can’t. It’s not possible.

But for this exercise, see if you can push all of those boundaries away, quiet that voice and dream! Again now you can see why normally this takes a couple of weeks to really delve into. So take all the time that you need.

Next. I want you to make a circle on the top of the page. And in that circle I want you to start listing all of the things you have achieved in your life, or have in your resources already to help go after this dream of your ideal future.

I have money put away so that I can go back to school for a year. I have a supportive partner who will stand by my side while I try something new. I have a family that wants me to be happy and will support my dream. I have a degree in, etc. etc. etc. that will help me reach my goal. I have experience in dot dot dot That gives me the confidence to jump outside of my comfort zone and try this. I have faith in myself! I have an adventurous spirit. I have connections of so-and-so and so-and-so that will help me meet the right people to be successful. I have time to work on this dream.

I really want you to take some time in this circle because I want you to think through all the things that you already have in your pocket, in your resources, in your experience, that will help you get from your present state, that circle on the left, to the future circle you dream of on the right.

Now make a circle on the bottom of the page. This circle is going to be all of the things that you need to learn, accomplish, experience, etc., in order to get to that circle on the right, your ideal dream.

I need to finish those three courses so that I get my degree. I need to work more so that I build my client base to be successful. I need to go to therapy and get rid of my negative thoughts about myself.

I need to do some deep self awareness work to let go of all of my fears. I need to learn how to shut off the negative voices of those around me who don’t believe in me. I need to get my body healthy so that I can go after that dream. I need to join a club. I need to do yoga. I need to stop spending so much money on frivolous things. I need to limit my social media time. I need to get off my computer and go for a walk and think. I need to research beach houses in the Caribbean! I need to quit my job, or ask for a raise. I need to leave an unhealthy non-supportive relationship.

Do you see where I’m going with this? Begin listing all of the things that you need to acquire or learn to get to the magnificent circle on the right hand side, your ideal future.

Then the process is jumping from your present state into your knowledge state, into the future, jumping down into what you need to acquire, then adding that to your knowledge state and your present state and repeating this over and over and over until you get to the future ideal dream.

So my amazing listeners as Kaplan Charla says, “A path from dreams to success does exist. May you have the vision to find it the courage to get onto it and the perseverance to follow it.”

Take some time to really work on this. Really dig into the bottom circle of what you need to acquire or learn on this path to your future. Then once you get it, move it up to that top circle of all of the things you already have! Then add that to your present state! And as often as you can erase something in your present state that you no longer need or want or have, then feel free to jump into your future state and change something else. Our life is a work in progress. But look around you, anything is possible! I always love to remember the idea that when you plant a bulb in the ground it eventually sprouts into a beautiful flower. But you have to plant the bulb in the first place.

I do hope that today’s podcast has given you a path to your dreams. Or a way to dream in the first place. A way to kick off your own adventure to your ideal future.

Remember the word ideal means no holds barred! Again, may you have the vision to find it, the courage to get onto it and the perseverance to follow it.

Thank you for listening to this podcast this week. May you surround yourself with loving beings who believe in all of your dreams. May you drink lots of water and get lots of sleep and read wonderful books and quotes and get kisses from lots of children and puppies! May you believe in yourself and do the work to bring you into the life that you dream of.

Thank you for letting me into your life this week, and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

April 10, 2024 By Shauna

I heard this quote by Teddy Roosevelt and I knew it was going to be the next topic for us to delve into this season. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What an unbelievably profound statement that is. In truth, how can we even compare ourselves to anyone else on the planet? Every single one of us has different talents, history, different upbringing, education, intelligence, different dreams, different relationships and different families! How can we possibly compare ourselves to someone else when all of those things make us who we are? Listen in and let’s discover the answer together. Ready? Let’s go…

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to A Journey To Awareness. I’m Shauna Hoffman. I heard this quote by Teddy Roosevelt and I knew it was going to be the next topic for us to delve into this season. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What an unbelievably profound statement that is. In truth, how can we even compare ourselves to anyone else on the planet? Every single one of us has different talents, history, different upbringing, education, intelligence, different dreams, different relationships and different families! How can we possibly compare ourselves to someone else when all of those things make us who we are?

So I thought a lot about that statement. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we compare ourselves to someone else, we usually only have two outcomes. One we either feel drastically better than another human being, or two, we feel less than. There’s definitely a level of arrogance when we think that we are better than anyone else. And deciding on the other end, that we are not as good as someone else, well it can only affect our self worth, self image and our self-esteem. So this became a really interesting topic to dig into on today’s podcast.

Obviously, there are lots of places in our society where we are compared to other people. We have to be compared to others when we’re up for the same job, or if we are trying out for a team or a play. Of course we will be compared to other people. But there’s a difference when other people compare us then when we compare ourselves.

Actually its not if we compare ourselves to others. It’s how we compare ourselves to others. It’s the things we believe about ourselves, the things we say about ourselves that steal our joy. This is what I believe is the crux of that statement, “comparison is the thief of joy.” If we are comparing ourselves to others and it brings us unhappiness then we need to look deeper at why.

The more I thought about it the more I realized in order to find happiness in comparisons it’s not others that we should be comparing ourselves with, but we should be comparing ourselves to the person that we want to be.

When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on what we don’t have or what we haven’t achieved. This can create a feeling of lack or inadequacy, even if we’re successful in our own right. And the worst part is you are taking away all of your focus on getting better, or learning about the thing you want to achieve. Remember, no two people are the same. Each person’s journey is unique and how you got to this place in life is never the same as how someone else got there. Your skills and someone else’s skills and your experience, and someone else’s experience are never ever going to match. So to judge yourself, or make a comparison like that, it’s not only illogical, but it can only create unhappiness.

Why? It diminishes our Self-Worth. Constant comparison can erode our self-esteem. When we’re always measuring ourselves against others, it’s typical that we overlook our own strengths and accomplishments. And the worst part about this is that self worth and self esteem are the two things you need to become better at anything!

So it’s this nightmare catch 22.

Think about all those movies where the underdog wins in the end. Inevitably there was a coach, or parent or teacher or neighbor that helped them believe in themselves. So what if that voice is your own telling yourself how amazing you are and you can do anything?

Comparison limits our gratitude! Let’s talk about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s when we compare what we have in life to what someone else has. Comparison of things and accomplishments shifts our focus to what we lack rather than what we have. What we can’t do as opposed to what we can. It definitely steals our ability to feel grateful for the blessings and achievements we do possess.

This next idea is what I consider one of the most detrimental affects comparisons have on our happiness.

Comparing ourselves to others is huge fuel for envy and jealousy. And wow, that eats away at our souls. Instead of celebrating others’ successes, some people choose to feel resentful or bitter. Well, there is no way that this is conducive to a happy mindset.

So that brings me to this. Some people would rather use other people’s success as fuel for their own unhappiness or failures then to take a look at themselves and see what they need to do to change, or what they need to learn, or what they need to let go of, in order to finally succeed. Playing the martyr is easier for them than doing the work it takes to look deep within and make changes to bring happiness to their lives!

There is a spiritual belief that if you wish someone else lack or failure you are actually claiming that you shouldn’t have that success either. The truth is there’s always someone richer, smarter, or more successful than you. If you can see their success as a goal for yourself and proof that it can happen, then That will bring you more energy towards your own success then envy ever will!

So, now let’s talk about some of the wonderful ways and reasons to compare ourselves with others. There is a beautiful thing called healthy competition. That’s when your desire to succeed is matched by the joy that you get from seeing others succeed. It’s not about winning in the end. So often it’s about gaining other things like learning more about something, or attaining better skills at what you want to do. Basically, it’s a mindset that’s focused on growing and not just winning, but becoming better at something! And there’s no question that this kind of good sportsmanship breeds joy, excitement, and happiness.

I have found that in all truth, this has become even more difficult in this day and age, because we are living in a world of social media where we can see every single thing that someone else achieves, or buys or travels to, or does with their life. But if we could look at each of those things and see them as proof that we can do the same then that’s what will bring us hope for our own success.

So, I want you to think about the following the next time you’re in competition with someone for something. Regardless of what you get in the end, try practicing gratitude. Focus on what you’re grateful for no matter what happens. This will shift your perspective from lack to abundance!

I always like to celebrate the win and loss of any competition that I may find myself in. The first way I do that is realizing that if I’m even in the place that I’m at, competing with someone for a better job or position, it must mean that I’m pretty damn successful myself. If not, I wouldn’t even be considered in the first place.

I think one of my favorite parts about realizing that I don’t want to compare myself to others is the joy of celebrating my own individuality. It’s the joy of recognizing everything that makes me different from anyone else. It’s the joy of understanding that in each moment I can choose to embrace everything positive about myself, and I can embrace everything I might need to change or learn, in order to become better at something, or just a better, happier human. It’s the understanding that just because someone else has something, in truth, I might not really want it in the first place! If I take myself out of competition with others, then the only thing I have to bring me joy is my own self growth, my own learning experiences, and my own successes.

Well, ain’t that one way to take back control of your life!

So here’s a list of wonderful ways to change the channel in the music of your soul if you are feeling all of the unhappiness around comparing yourself to someone else.

First of all practice gratitude. Focus on what you’re grateful for in your life and be grateful for all of the things that you have achieved in life.

If you are one of the people who find unhappiness by too much social media use, then limit it! Don’t allow yourself to compare your life to people you are reading about online. I want you to set your own personal goals. I don’t want you to define your measure of success based on anyone else’s. Base your success on your own values, your own interest and your own aspirations.

Celebrate your differences! Realize that every person has their own journey and there’s absolutely no point to comparing your journey to theirs.

Most importantly, cultivate self compassion! Treat yourself with so much kindness, and even more understanding! Choose the words you say about yourself very carefully. Choose loving kindness towards yourself!

I came up with this topic this weekend because I watched a movie on Netflix called “The Beautiful Game.” It was about the international homeless soccer competition. It was such a beautiful story that exemplified absolutely everything I talked about on this podcast. This is actually a true competition that takes place every year. The star soccer player in the film had to fight all of his own demons around comparing himself to others, whether in life or on the field. He was one that was taking the arrogant way of looking at himself in competition with others. He was better than everyone else. As you can guess the story all came back to what he really felt about himself! I don’t want to tell you the end of the movie because I hope you watch it yourself. But, suffice it to say that it showed everything about the beauty of healthy competition and how it can change your soul.. if you let it.

Thank you, Teddy Roosevelt, for the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I hope each of us can look deeply at ourselves and realize this profound truth and that we have the power to change the rhythm in our souls.

To all my beautiful listeners, please be gentle on yourselves surround yourselves with loving beings… who believe in you. Look in the mirror and see everything about yourself that is grand, successful, and glorious! Thank you for letting me into your life this week, and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

The Magic Of Walking In The Rain

April 3, 2024 By Shauna

Why do we have so many rules that take away so much of the fun in life? I’m not talking about doing dangerous things. I’m talking about doing something so simple as walking in the rain and how just doing that becomes an adventure that gives you a feeling of freedom that you never expected. I realized that walking in the rain represented so much of the same things for so many people. So many reasons why we can’t do something. So many limitations we put on ourselves.

When we do something so out of the box, so unexpected and against all social norms, believe it or not, our creativity is unlocked. I mean that’s what creativity is. Thinking outside the box creating with no boundaries and no holds barred. Creating as if you are walking in the rain.

SHOWNOTES:

Hello, and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Oh this is gonna be a fun episode.

Last night my husband and I were talking about the fact that we want to go take the dogs for a walk today. We have three collies that need lots of exercise. But when I looked at the weather, it said it was going to rain. My husband turned to me and said, “Why don’t we take a walk in the rain!?” I paused and I looked at him, definitely perplexed, and then all the sudden I got so excited! I felt like a child again. Then I remembered some of the most fun days of my life were walking in the rain.

I mean, I know it’s crazy that every time we think about it our first instincts are, absolutely not. It’s raining out you can’t go outside. Or if you’re gonna go outside, you have to run to your car then run into the next building. You have to have umbrellas and raincoats, God knows you can’t get wet.

And then when I remember the times that I did walk and play in the rain I remember the feeling of total rebellion. It’s so funny I felt completely like a rebellious kid whose mom was saying, “you can’t go out and play in the rain! You’re going to get sopping wet! You’re going to catch a cold! You’re going to drag in all the mud! No, you cannot go.”

Then I remembered when my daughter dressed the kids up in their rain, boots and rain jackets and took them outside and just let them play in puddles and mud and feel the rain on their face. And they had the time of their lives! The free spirit of a child. And it made me wonder why when we become adults don’t we walk, sing, dance or play in the rain?

Oh, and with creativity comes romance. It is so romantic to walk in the rain with someone you love. Or just thinking about someone you love. I mean, you can’t help but smile when you think of the scene from singing in the rain where Gene Kelly is dancing in the middle of the street madly in love.

Do you remember the Neil Sedaka song “laughter in the rain”? Oh, I hear laughter and rain walking hand-in-hand with the one I love. Oh how I love the rainy days and the happy way I feel inside.

You smell things you never smelled before. The reflections of the water on the leaves, and on the ground have this magical beauty to them. And the feeling of rain on your face is a sensation so different than what you are used to, that you can’t help but smile.

But you don’t have to be with another human to feel romance. One of the definitions of romance is a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and being remote from every day life. It’s the beauty and the romance inside you. Imagine your own romantic escapade.

Here is another adventure. Try running around in the rain with a bunch of friends! You have no idea how much laughter and lightheartedness it brings. I was on one of the islands with four of my friends late at night, and we were walking back to the ship, and it started pouring raining. It took us totally by surprise. And it was a blast! We were laughing and dancing in the middle of a Caribbean Road. We had so much fun!

Another time, my husband and I were in Venice, the city of canals and water. We got caught in a rainstorm and got so lost on the curvy roads of Venice that all we could do was realize this was totally out of our control so we may as well enjoy it! And we laughed and walked the streets of Venice, popping in for a coffee then out again onto the rainy cobblestone streets. Rain, snow, any weather is just a reminder that sometimes we need to just let go of control and let life happen.

I found this quote and forgive me, whoever said it, because I couldn’t find the author.

Walking in the rain is a reminder that sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Here is another one, author unknown.

Rainy walks, are a chance to find beauty in the midst of chaos, to see the world with fresh eyes.

There is such spontaneity that comes with walking in the rain. You don’t know when it’s gonna stop. You don’t know when it’s gonna get stronger. And you don’t know when you’re going to see a rainbow. For me walking in the rain is one of the most magical things we can do.

Oh, The freshness that rain brings. Whether it’s a hot day in the Caribbean or a cool walk in the mountains, it brings a refreshing feeling to the air. And it’s so invigorating to breathe in the crisp, clean scent of rain-soaked earth and see the glisten on the trees plants.

Did you know that there is an actual scientific reason why walking in the rain is so peaceful? It’s something called the petrichor effect. Petrichor happens when rainwater releases micro organisms hidden in the earth and they mix with the smell of plant oils and the ozone. And it all gets released into the air.

Scientists believe it’s one of the most calming and mood boosting properties. They also think it could be because it stems from a cultural imprint that goes all the way back to our ancestors who would’ve found food and water more plentiful in times of rain than in times of drought. That’s why we always love the smell of the outdoors right after a rain.

I love this quote about the Petrichor effect

It’s when raindrops kiss the arid land, and the magic happens. It smells like a secret.

This wonderful woman named Susie Nightingale is the one who said that. It smells like a secret. I love that so much! I also kind of love her her name, Susie Nightingale.

Ha! Bob Marley says, “Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.”
So let me just throw out a few reasons for you to walk in the rain the next time your weather app says rain is in the forecast.

Serenity: The sound of rain hitting the ground, leaves, or the top of your head can create a soothing and calming environment. It helps clear the mind and reduce all your stress… if you let it. Why do you think they use raindrops on so many calming apps?

A connection with Nature: Rainfall is such a vital part of nature, and growth. Walking in the rain can help you feel more connected to the environment. But what I love most is that it’s a reminder of the cycles of nature and the importance of water.

And did you know that sometimes it rains cats and dogs? I mean, if that isn’t a great reason to be walking in the rain I don’t know any other!

Solitude: Rainy weather often keeps others indoors, which means you might have the streets or parks to yourself. These moments when you’re alone are the times that you can feel the deepest, without anyone seeing you.

Charlie Chaplin said, “I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying.”

I take that to mean there is beauty when you can find comfort and privacy during the most vulnerable times. And there’s no better way to do it than walking in the rain Go ahead. Do it! I dare you. See if you can get a sense of peaceful solitude and privacy.

We talked about the adventure of it. But I wanna add that one of the reasons it gives you a sense of adventure is because of this feeling of braving the elements. We feel it every time we sail our sailboat. And what a wonderful simple way to do it right outside your front door?

OK I have a confession. This entire weekend it’s supposed to rain so as my husband and I talked about walking in the rain I woke up this morning and thought I really wanna get crazy. So I threw off all my clothes, ran out into my backyard and danced in the rain, totally nude. My dogs were running all around me, and I surely hope my neighbors didn’t see it because they would either think I was crazy or who knows, maybe they thought I’m one of the happiest people in the world. I wanted to really test all of what I was talking about here. And it was magical!

Oh…now let’s talk about the moodiness of a rainy day and how it can inspire introspection and reflection. It’s a great time to think deeply, sort out thoughts, or come up with new ideas.

Creativity!

Have you ever really looked at photography that was done out in the rain? Try it yourself! Grab your phone, go outside in the rain and take pictures! Rain can create stunning photo ops. Think about the reflections in puddles, raindrops on leaves, and the diffused light creating such a unique atmosphere. And if your lucky you will catch a rainbow!

We have all heard about Native Americans performing a rain dance. They would summon the spirits of the gods to cleanse the earth with rain. But in the Native American culture the rain dance was also a symbol of forgiveness. Think about that for a minute, how we can let the rain wash away our past, our hurts, our anger, our betrayals from others and to others. What if you could walk in the rain and forgive yourself and forgive others?

Who knew that walking in the rain could offer us so much self-awareness? For me, I think the one most important lessons this morning when I ran around in the rain was remembering how to enjoy the Simple Things in life. It was a reminder I don’t have to play by anyone else’s rules.

So, I hope that soon you’ll have an opportunity to go play in the rain! I hope you let go of everybody else’s rules, go outside and let the raindrops keep falling on your head. And I hope it sparks a new journey to awareness.

And most of all, may there be a rainbow at the end of your journey.

So my beautiful listeners, thank you for letting me into your life this week, and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

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