Working On Me

A Journey to Self Awareness with Shauna Hoffman

You’re Not Imagining It! Gaslighting in Relationships and Power

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Hello, I’m Shauna Hoffman and Welcome back to A Journey to Awareness. The podcast where we slow things down, get curious, and learn how to see ourselves—and the world—more clearly.

I had taken a hiatus to rethink what my next season would be, and wanted to give you a little preview of what will be airing, starting late Spring.

I have so many people struggling right now both in their personal relationships and with what is happening in our country. And I have realized that it is actually the same psychological phenomenon that’s triggering them.

This deeply damaging phenomenon is called **gaslighting**.

You’ve probably heard it in conversations about relationships, families, workplaces—and now increasingly, in politics. But what is gaslighting really?

Listen in to find out!

SHOWNOTES

Hello, I’m Shauna Hoffman and Welcome back to *A Journey to Awareness*. The podcast where we slow things down, get curious, and learn how to see ourselves—and the world—more clearly.

I had taken a hiatus to rethink what my next season would be.  But I have so many people struggling right now both in their personal relationships and with what is happening in our country.

And I have realized that it is actually the same psychological phenomenon that’s triggering them.

This deeply damaging  phenomenon is called  **gaslighting**.

You’ve probably heard it in conversations about relationships, families, workplaces—and now increasingly, in politics. But what *is* gaslighting really?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where someone causes you to **doubt your own reality**.

Not just your opinions—but your *memory of a situation*, your *perception* of a situation, what you see with your very own eyes, and eventually your *judgment*.

Here is an example. You bring up a scenario you need to discuss with someone, usually a partner and they say to you..

  • “That never happened.”
  • “You’re remembering it wrong, I never said or did that..

* “Oh give me a break, You’re too sensitive.”

  • “Come on.. stop overreacting.
  • “There is something wrong with you if you are even believing that”

Here is what is so scary, their goal isn’t just to win the argument,

Their goal is to have power over you.

When someone successfully gaslights you, you start asking yourself:

* *Am I crazy?*

* *Wait. Did I imagine that?*

* *I guess…maybe… it really was my fault.*

When clients first describe these discussions in their relationship they rarely use the word gaslighting. They say things like, “I don’t trust myself anymore,” or “I just feel so confused all the time.”

That confusion is often my clue to dig in to see if I can find the truth for them when they can no longer find it for themselves. You see truths are facts. But when you get gaslit enough you start to lose track of the truth and you start to see the world through their false reality. And when the goal of their reality is one to overpower you, or weaken you… I need to help you find your way back home again.

It’s interesting. Gaslighting often happens slowly. Quietly. It’s rarely one big moment. It’s a pattern—small enough to dismiss at the beginning, frequent enough to erode all the trust you have in yourself.

And here’s the key thing to understand:

Gaslighting only works when the gaslighter positions themselves as the authority on reality.

Gaslighting shows up most often in close relationships—most often with romantic partners. Because proximity creates influence and authority. But it is now happening in our country when we see a clip on the news and then we are told we are not seeing what we know we just watched.

Ok, let’s first talk about Gaslighting in Couples…but feel free to see if it is happening in any other relationship you have, family, a boss, or as I said…with what’s going on in the US right now.

Here are some common examples in relationships:

  • You discover flirtatious texts or DMs and hear, “You’re imagining things. What are you doing looking at my private texts?  You’re always so paranoid.”
  • It could be a forgotten promise they made to you which becomes, “I never said that—you just assumed. God, you’re so selfish.”
  • You may express a hurt and then you’re told, “You’re too sensitive. Anyone else would be fine with this. But you have to make everything about yourself don’t you?”
  • You try to set a boundary and you get labeled “controlling” or I love this one…“dramatic.”.
  • You feel uneasy about repeated behavior and bring it up. They say things like “That’s your anxiety talking, not reality. You’re crazy. This is a you problem, not my problem”*

The most frustrating is when you’re having a fight, they say something to you and you react to it and they insist they never said….what you just heard! You are like… OK What is going on? Is this the twilight zone? Am I losing my mind?

Over time, the focus shifts away from their behavior and onto your reaction. You start monitoring your tone, your words, your emotions—while the original issue goes untouched.

They have you trained!

It’s interesting. Gaslighting in relationships can hide behind humor, charm, or a false concern for you. It can sound loving on the surface while being deeply invalidating underneath. And that word is the one most important word in regard to a person’s self worth. You are Invalidated. You are not worthy. You and your needs become invisible.

In my work with couples, I often see one partner slowly stop bringing things up—not because the issue disappeared, but because it feels safer to stay quiet than to be told they’re wrong again. They are slowly shrinking.

Now, how does this manifest in your body? What does the Body Feel like When You’re Being Gaslit.

See the thing is, Gaslighting isn’t just psychological—it’s physiological.

Your body often knows before your mind does.

You may start to feel:

* Tightness in the chest or throat

* A knot in your stomach

* You Feel suddenly small or frozen (which by the way is exactly what they want you to feel)

  • You have increased anxiety before your conversations- Again, they want you to Fear them. It’s their way of having power over you

* You start having Brain fog or difficulty recalling details

* And you have an overall sense of dread anytime you have to  bring something up

Next thing you find yourself:

* Over-explaining

  • Apologizing excessively
  • Replaying conversations in your mind to “get it right” before you speak about the issue.

* You start feeling confused but you don’t know why

This happens because gaslighting activates the nervous system.

When your reality is questioned, your body goes into **threat response**. Fight, flight or freeze. And when that threat is ongoing, the body stays in one of those three responses. And usually it’s FREEZE..

Please listen to me.

Confusion is not a personality flaw.

It’s often a trauma response to chronic invalidation.

Let me say that again…. Confusion is not a personality flaw.

It’s often a trauma response to chronic invalidation.

When someone shares these symptoms with me I listen closely. It almost always signals a person who doesn’t feel safe.

So, why is Gaslighting Is so effective?

Gaslighting works because human beings are wired for connection.

We want to believe the people we love.

We want harmony.

We want to belong.

And our brains don’t like uncertainty.

So when someone confidently insists that *your reality is wrong*, your nervous system often chooses safety over truth.

Now let’s widen the lens.

And let’s talk for a moment about what brought me to do this podcast at this moment in time and come out of my podcast break!

It is the Gaslighting that is happening to citizens in the U.S. today.

At this point in history, gaslighting isn’t just personal—it’s **systemic**.

In today’s news cycle, we’re seeing blatant gaslighting when:

  • Documented events are denied despite video or audio evidence! We are being told that what we are seeing with our own eyes is not true…or real.
  • Shifting narratives are presented as if they were always true, In other words the narrative of events keeps shifting as you are seeing facts that the politician doesn’t want you to believe. And then they try to make you believe that what they are telling you now was the “truth” all along! You just misinterpreted it.
  • Entire groups of people are being told their lived experiences are exaggerated or fake!

And this is Gaslighting at its most manipulative and most dangerous.

* People asking legitimate questions of our government are reframed as being disloyal or hysterical.

This underlying message is profound and very scary for our country:

*”Don’t trust what you see. Don’t trust what you feel. Don’t trust anyone but us.*

This is mass gaslighting.

What I am seeing with friends, clients and the citizens of this country on both sides of the aisle is that when reality is constantly being rewritten, people become exhausted, polarized, and emotionally flooded.

And here’s the dangerous part:

When reality feels unstable, people cling to certainty—even if it’s false. The Gaslighter wins.

Gaslighting in politics isn’t about persuasion.

It’s about **disorientation**.

A disoriented public is easier to control. Let me say that again. A disoriented public is easier to control.

So let’s be clear.

Gaslighting is gaslighting. Whether it is being done to you personally or you are seeing it en masse all around you.

So what do we do to remind ourselves of our own reality and our own truth?  How do we break the spell?

We do it with AWARENESS. With anchoring back into reality.

Here are a few grounding principles:

  • Your feelings are data. TRUST THEM
  • Patterns matter more than isolated incidents. In other words be AWARE if there is a pattern of gaslighting from a certain person or entity.
  • Your Reality does not require someone else’s permission. You have a right to own your own perceptions and reality.

* Confusion is often a sign of manipulation—not weakness.

“Awareness restores your agency” What does that means?

When you become aware of what’s actually happening—especially in situations like gaslighting—you regain the ability to choose instead of just react.

Gaslighting takes away your agency by making you doubt yourself.
*You stop trusting your memory.
*You second-guess your instincts.
*You look to someone else to tell you what’s real.

Awareness interrupts that.

When you can name, “This is gaslighting,” something shifts:

  • You realize the confusion isn’t because you’re broken.
  • You stop trying to convince the other person.
  • You start listening to your own internal signals again. You gain back your agency.

Agency is your capacity to think, feel, decide, and act on your own behalf.

Gaslighting—whether in a relationship or to a nation—disconnects us from ourselves.

And it is self awareness that reconnects us again.

Healing often begins the moment someone realizes, “It wasn’t that I was broken. It’s that my reality kept being challenged. And you know what? I’m not crazy!.”

You’re not broken for feeling confused.

You’re not weak for questioning.

And best of all reclaiming your sense of reality is the most powerful act you can do for your self worth, and your sanity.

I love this quote by Tracy Malone

“The healing doesn’t happen in the rewind. It happens in the pause. In the breath. In the moment you choose yourself again.” 

Oh beautiful listeners. Thank you for listening today. Please be good to yourself. Honor your own reality over others. Stay true to your beliefs, your morals, ethics and values no matter who you are with or what you are being told. Honor your body! Drink lots of water, eat nourishing food and please surround yourself with loving beings.

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week. And I look forward to popping back in again next time.

 

Passion is your Spark, Purpose is your Soul

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Welcome to A Journey to Awareness, today we are going to have some fun as we kick off this episode as a follow up to the last episode! We are going to play with the space within ourselves where we explore how to live more authentically, more purposefully, and more in tune with who we really are and what brings us happiness. Today’s episode is for anyone who’s ever asked the question: What am I supposed to be doing with my life?

We’re talking about two powerful forces that shape a meaningful life — passion and purpose — and how do we find both?

SHOWNOTES

Hello, and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Oh today we are going to have some fun as we kick off this episode as a follow up to the last episode! We are going to play with the space within ourselves where we explore how to live more authentically, more purposefully, and more in tune with who we really are and what brings us happiness. Today’s episode is for anyone who’s ever asked the question: What am I supposed to be doing with my life?

We’re talking about two powerful forces that shape a meaningful life — passion and purpose — and how do we find both?

First, what is the difference Between Passion and Purpose?

Guess what? Passion and purpose are not the same thing. And that’s actually great news.

Passion is what excites you. That spark that makes you smile! That energy that jumpstarts your heart a little or a lot! And it’s creativity! Passion fuels your creativity. It opens your thoughts and mind to think and feel differently. And in the end passion is what fills your heart with joy! It’s the thing you love to do — even if no one’s watching.

Now let’s differentiate this from passion for another person! We are not talking about romantic passion. We are talking about your passion for something, not someone! Unless that someone is you! It’s a passion for something within yourself!

You might love to write, design, cook, hike, teach, or play music, speak, do yoga, play sound bowls, hang with dogs or cats or llamas. That’s your passion — it’s what lights you up, brings a smile to your face and a warmth in your heart.

Purpose, on the other hand, is deeper. It’s the why behind your life. It’s what gives your actions meaning. Purpose is often reflective of your morals, ethics and values. It can show up in how you help others, humans, animals, the planet, yourself. It’s what you stand for, or what you want to change in the world.

So here’s the difference in one line:
“Passion excites you. Purpose is what fulfills you.”

Now back to Passion… so, how do you find your passion? We talked a little bit about this in the last episode. But it can’t hurt to revisit it again today!

You follow your energy! This means that you take some time to become self aware. aware of self! HA! This podcast! A Journey to Awareness!

Ask yourself …When do I feel most alive? What am I doing? Or when I’m doing something I don’t like what do I wish I was doing instead? What feels like that thing that throws a huge smile on your face? Think about it right now and see if anything pops into your awareness.

Sometimes when we revisit our younger self we get clues as to what is still deep inside us that is waiting to come out again.

What did you love before life got serious? Remembering childhood passions often will jumpstart your adventure towards finding passion again. Or maybe it was something you loved when you were young that needs to be tweaked a bit to fit the you of today. When I was young we couldn’t have a dog. I lived in a condo with my mom, three brothers and our beloved cat. One more animal would be too much for a single mom to handle. But my soul longed for a dog of my own. So my best friend and I would walk the dogs in the neighborhood for hours on end! Often these dogs would never have gotten walks if it weren’t for us. Now I have my own dogs and I work with rescue to help dogs all over SoCal. Dogs are a passion of mine!  AHHH but wait! I am crossing a bit into purpose… more on that in a bit!

You may still not know where your passion is. You just may not have found it yet! Try to find it without pressure. Don’t make it a stressful, What is my passion? Why don’t I know, obsession. Because then it becomes a chore. And when passion becomes a chore it will take all of the magic away. Think of it as an adventure! You are going down different paths on the way to finding your pot of gold!

Many of you are still asking,  how do I find it? Where do I find the paths to go down? Here are some more ideas. There is an app called Meetup.com. I have so many of my clients peruse this app to see if there are any local fun groups to try out that spark something inside them to just try out. You meet likeminded souls and you try your hand at different things that may fill a long lost need in you. Or take a class in something that you have always wanted to try. I had a friend that wanted to learn how to make pottery. Talk about sparking her creativity and her creativity being brought to life!

You could join a group. Explore. Passion comes from action, not just desperately searching inside you to see what fits your soul. It can be like a dormant seed waiting to push up out of the dirt. Just water it and you will see it’s beauty! But you have to water it!

Try these journal prompts:

  • What do I get lost in?
  • What would I do if no one was watching?
  • I love this one…What makes me feel like me?
  • What is someone else doing that I am kinda jealous of… or wishing I could do?

You don’t have to commit forever. Just get curious. One tiny thought at a time. Then one tiny step to discover if you can find a spark in something you are journaling about.

Now let’s talk about purpose — the meaning piece.

Purpose usually grows slowly. Don’t rush it. Let it unfold. Your purpose does not have to be altruistic to the world. It may just be altruistic to you. Someone who grew up in an unhealthy family finds purpose in creating a beautiful safe home for their children. Someone who fought an illness and survived finds purpose in enjoying and giving thanks for every breath they take, every day they live now. For a survivor finding a purpose of filling their life with joy is absolutely not a selfish purpose. It is a much deserved purpose that brings the world one more smiling soul. And then the ripple affect occurs! Their smile ignites another person to smile and on and on!

Your purpose can be as small as feeding all the hummingbirds in your neighborhood. Maybe you have a passion for those tiny creatures and now they have given you a purpose to help them survive. And that brings me back to my love of dogs and how I turned my passion into a purpose by working in dog rescue during one of the hardest times in rescue history. One of my passions that is now one of the most profound purposes I live for. Don’t get me wrong! I have so many passions! Sailing! Travel! Lunches with my besties! But the one that I have combined into my purpose is animal rescue.

Look at your story.

What have you overcome? Often, purpose is born from pain, healing, or transformation.

Ask what you care about deeply.

What breaks your heart or fires you up? That’s a hint.

Think impact, not job title.

Your purpose isn’t limited to a career. It’s what you’re here to give, sometimes to others and sometimes to your self…

Here are some Journal prompts:

  • What do I want to be remembered for?
  • Who do I feel called to help?
  • What injustice or need moves me to act?

Here’s something people don’t say enough:
Your passion and your purpose can and probably will change. What you loved at 25 might not fulfill you at 45 or 60 or 80. Your purpose may evolve as you grow, face loss, become a parent, or change careers, experiment with life and new experiences, retire, get divorced, have kids!That’s being alive. We are not stagnant beings. In fact when we are stagnant is when depression creeps in!

When pickle-ball became the rage I watched a friend in her 40s find a new passion! When a client of mine got divorced in her 50’s she tried ballroom dancing and all of a sudden she is consumed with it in the most wonderful ways. And she lost 20 pounds dancing it away! Her new passion. But it became her purpose, to heal her soul after divorce and show others that it may do the same for them.

You’re allowed to outgrow things. You’re allowed to pivot. You’re allowed to rediscover yourself again and again and again.

Let yourself evolve. Passion and purpose aren’t final destinations — they’re living, breathing parts of your journey.

Here is the wonder…

When your passion and your purpose align? That’s magic.
Here are some Examples:

  • A photographer (passion) who captures stories for nonprofits (purpose)
  • A teacher (purpose) who brings theater into the classroom (passion)
  • A gardener (passion) who teaches people how to grow their own food (purpose)

Not everyone gets there overnight. And not every passion needs to become your purpose. But when the two touch — it can be profound. But let’s be clear. They do not have to coincide. You can find your passion in one place and your purpose somewhere else.

OOOOH. Now let’s look at the science behind it all! First Purpose!

This isn’t just feel-good talk — science backs it up.

  • People who have a strong sense of purpose live longer.
    One large study found they had a 15% lower risk of death — even when accounting for age, income, and health status.”

Let’s look at mental health and resilience:

  • Purpose doesn’t just add meaning — it acts like a buffer.
    It protects us. People with purpose have lower rates of depression, anxiety, and even substance abuse.
    It’s like an emotional immune system.”

Physical health! 

Want to hear something crazy?

  • Having purpose is linked to a 33% lower risk of stroke or heart attack. That’s right — it’s not just good for your soul. It’s good for your heart.”
  • Your brain is literally wired for meaning.
    When you’re connected to your purpose, studies show your brain’s reward centers light up — and so does your decision-making and self-control.”

Now let’s talk about passion:

Passion brings its own benefits, too.

  • People who regularly engage in something they love show higher life satisfaction, greater persistence, and less burnout — especially if they do it for the love of it, not just the outcome.
    It’s a kind  of passion that fuels joy, not stress.”

I love this!

  • People with purpose report higher quality sleep, according to the Sleep Science Journal.
  • College students with a clear sense of purpose are less likely to suffer from academic burnout, and more likely to report better mental health.
  • In a 2022 Gallup survey, only 20% of people said they feel passionate about their work — but those people were 3x more likely to report high overall well-being.
  • A study of retirees found that those with a sense of purpose were less likely to develop mobility issues or disability over time.

It always comes back to the mind- body connection!

🛎️ So here’s what I want you to contemplate from this podcast:

  • Passion is what excites you.
  • Purpose is what fills your soul.
  • You don’t have to figure it all out at once.
  • You’re allowed to change your mind.
  • You are becoming — as this podcast is named… you are on a Journey to Self Awareness!

You just need a little curiosity and a little courage.

I love this quote by Mark Twain.

“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

— Mark Twain

If this episode helped you, share it with someone who might be in a time in their life that would benefit from hearing it, too.

Now, beautiful listeners… go forth and have some fun! Play, learn and keep listening to the whisper inside you. It knows the way.

Have a fabulous week! And don’t forget to drink lots of water, eat nourishing foods, and surround yourself with loving beings.

Thank you for joining me today,.. and I look forward to popping into your life again next time!

It’s Not The Relationship. It’s The Missing Piece Inside Yourself

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Today we’re gonna talk about something that is extremely common and also can be very enlightening. You are in a relationship and something in you feels off. You feel tired, you’re drained. You might have some level of depression. There is something that’s missing in you and you don’t know why. You might find yourself crying for no reason. You’re getting short with the person you’re supposed to love. And all of a sudden you begin to wonder, am I unhappy because of them? You start imagining leaving them. Maybe that will fix it. Maybe once you’re free of this person, once you are free of the weight of this relationship, then the sadness, and the emptiness will lift.

Well, what happens when you leave and the weight is still there? Guess what? It was never the person in the first place. It was the part of you that you’ve been ignoring! You weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough! You weren’t enough for yourself! Let me say that again… you weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough for yourself!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we’re gonna talk about something that is extremely common and also can be very enlightening. You are in a relationship and something in you feels off. You feel tired, you’re drained. You might have some level of depression. There is something that’s missing in you and you don’t know why.  You might find yourself crying for no reason. You’re getting short with the person you’re supposed to love.  And all of a sudden you begin to wonder, am I unhappy because of them? You start imagining leaving them.  Maybe that will fix it.  Maybe once you’re free of this person, once you are free of the weight of this relationship, then the sadness, and the emptiness will lift.

Well, what happens when you leave and the weight is still there? Guess what? It was never the person in the first place. It was the part of you that you’ve been ignoring!  You weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough!  You weren’t enough for yourself! Let me say that again… you weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough for yourself!

Could it be that when you entered into this relationship you stopped chasing your dream! You buried your ambition in the soft comfort of the relationship and then you got mad at the other person when it didn’t fill the hole in your soul? Maybe your dream was music or writing, starting that nonprofit, going back to school, traveling, opening that amazing bookstore that you always talked about. For whatever reason you didn’t follow that dream and now you think what is missing is in the relationship when what is really missing is a longing deep within you.

Wow this realization can hit like a wave. You’re not heartbroken because the relationship is wrong. You’re restless because you’re off course. Here is a fact! Your soul doesn’t care who’s next to you in bed If you’re not waking up to something that lights your own fire.  When we don’t find what sparks us, we project our disappointment on the people closest to us. And often it’s our partners that bear the weight.

So what now?  You don’t have to blow up your relationship. You don’t need to walk out. But you do need to walk toward something! Pick up that dream and dust it off. Look your partner in the eye and say I have been thinking about the fact that I’ve blamed you for something that’s actually about me. I wanna find my spark again. I need to find my spark again and I hope you’ll support me! And if they are the right person they will. Because it was never about escaping them, it was about returning to you.

One of my clients asked me how do we do that if we don’t know what our passion is. We don’t know what our spark is. We have been so involved in being a mom or a dad, paying the bills or filling the roles that other people want that we really have no idea what little message is gnawing at us wanting to be brought to life.

It’s perfectly normal to be unsure. I’ll give you a personal example.  Before I became a therapist. I had a thriving cruise business, theater company, happy marriage. But then all of a sudden I felt like something was missing. I started to blame everything around me for my unhappiness instead of realizing that there was a piece inside me that I wasn’t listening to.

First of all, I’m going to say that I think there are so many sides of our personality, our dreams.  I loved owning my own business, working for myself. I loved to travel.  I had fulfilled that by starting a theater company that I could actually take on cruise ships because I love the ocean. I love being on the water.  But then I realized that everything was about me and I needed a way to give back. At that point I was producing videos on A Course in Miracles with Marianne Williamson, so spirituality and spiritual psychotherapy was fascinating to me. But I still wasn’t giving back one on one. So I searched and searched for a place to volunteer and decided to start tutoring children struggling to learn how to read.

Then one day I was tutoring this 12 year old boy and I realized that I was working really hard to get him to believe in himself. We were spending time in front of a mirror saying, Repeat after me. I’m smart. I’m smart. I’m smart. I can do this. His parents were very cruel and put this little boy down so much that he had no belief in himself. And all of a sudden I realized I wasn’t tutoring him, I was doing therapy with him! And that’s when it hit me. I think I wanna become a therapist. So owning a business, having a life filled with husband and animals, travel and acting, writing, directing, and everything that I was doing I still decided to go back and get my master’s degree. I knew it was going to be a long haul and I hadn’t been back in school in 12 years, but I did it anyway. I decided to take it day by day and see if this would fulfill my soul. And now here I am… it did.

Now I have so many different businesses it’s ridiculous. I have a Therapy business. I have a podcast. I have a travel business. I have a speaker trainer business, I have a theater company, I rescue collies and I love all of it and now every piece of me is being honored.

Ok, enough about me…the point is you might not know where your passion is leading you or what your passion even  is!

But I’m gonna tell you this.  You’re not behind!  You’re on a path!  Each step that I took, each revelation that I had, brought me to a different experience. And each different experience helped me realize what my heart was longing for. And in the end, it was never about being happy with my relationship, my home, the town I lived in. There was nothing I needed to escape from. What I needed to do was go towards something! Not leave anything behind, but move towards something on a path that would bring me happiness.

I know there are many of you that have no idea what your passion or purpose is. First of all, I’m gonna say your purpose and your passion might not be the same thing. And because of that, it’s a whole ‘nother podcast and subject to delve into. So for now  I wanna bring it all back to what we started to talk about. And that is, that often times when we feel like something is missing in our relationship. It might not be the relationship. It’s something that’s missing inside of you.

Ask yourself… What piece of me feels empty? Am I sharing myself with the world in ways that bring me joy? Is there something about myself that I am longing for? Something to learn? Something to do? Something to share? Then sit back and listen! Listen to your heart! Journal about what you dreamt of as a child? Look around you and see what makes you happy! Do you want to go back to school? Write a novel? Or just learn how to grow roses? I love this idea…Go to a bookstore and peruse the magazine section and see which one you want to pick up! Photography? Gardening! Astronomy? Hiking? A magazine on reptiles or dogs or llamas!

Follow Your Energy

As yourself: When do I feel most alive? What tasks feel like a “yes”?

2. Look Backward

Childhood clues — what did you love before people told you what you “should” do?

3. Explore Without Commitment

Try a class, volunteer, shadow someone, dabble.

4. Journal Prompts to Reflect On

What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
What do people ask me for help with?
What have I always secretly wanted to try?
I like this one. What do you feel slightly jealous of that someone else is doing? This is a great clue as to what you long for in your life!

My friend Marianne Williamson says “When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.”

And I want to take that a step further and say …when we are centered in the wisdom of our soul, we will find true joy.

Again…when we are centered in the wisdom of our soul, we will find true joy.

Oh beautiful listeners, take tiny steps to find what touches you deep inside!  It will be your next step on your glorious journey to self awareness!

I hope this episode has sparked something in you that you didn’t know was missing, or was hiding in the deep spaces of your heart. I hope this helps you continue on your journey! I hope you do so with gentle kindness towards yourself!

Please take wonderful care of yourself! Eat nourishing foods, drink lots of water and surround yourself with loving beings.

Once again, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back  in again…next time!

Magical Mornings

By

Today’s episode is to awaken your awareness of the world all around you, the world you are a part of. How do we do that? It’s all about crafting a magical, wonderful morning. Not just “I hit snooze five times and rolled out the door with mismatched socks” kind of morning – but the kind that makes you feel like a warm cup of joy with whipped cream and just a little sparkle of wonder on top.

Wonder of everything around you. Wonder of your life.

SHOWNOTES

Hello, beautiful humans! Welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I am Shauna Hoffman.

Whether you’re still snuggled under the covers or already sipping your favorite morning brew, or you’re listening to this in the afternoon or evening! I thought I would share my new morning rituals and see if you are ready to change up your life with your own morning splendidness that will ground you, wake up your senses and maybe even sprinkle a little magic on the rest of your day – one gentle laugh, one deep breath, one intentional thought at a time. This podcast is called a Journey to Awareness. So, today’s episode is to awaken your awareness of the world all around you, the world you are a part of.

How do we do that? It’s all about crafting a magical, wonderful morning. Not just “I hit snooze five times and rolled out the door with mismatched socks” kind of morning – but the kind that makes you feel like a warm cup of joy with whipped cream and just a little sparkle of wonder on top. Wonder of everything around you. Wonder of your life.

I started a new ritual a few weeks ago that has changed my day, my moods and my life. I decided that I would not wake up and look at my phone right away. As a matter of fact, I would put it away till after I enjoyed my new morning sunshine. OK, that wasn’t easy as that phone calls my name the minute, I open my eyes. But I decided to try something new. something out of the box for me. My own magic.

I decided I wanted to take my coffee outside and say good morning to the world! No matter how cold it was! I was going outside to start my day. I layer myself in clothes, beanie on my head, scarf around my neck and take my coffee and cookie outside to my patio to be greeted by everything I see and then greet it all back! Oh, if my neighbors could hear me, they would think I am crazy.

Good morning neighborhood. Good morning plants behind me. Good morning mountains, good morning bamboo. Good morning sliver of white moon still up in the sky. Good morning palm trees on the other side of the fence. Good morning magnificent date tree. Good morning magical mystery plant that we don’t know what you are. Good morning giant majestic towering tree in the distance. Good morning lovey doveys, (the two doves that visit me every morning.)

Next, I look at the Aloha sign we have on our fence and say to the world… “Aloha!”

Then I close my eyes, and I thank Gaia, Mother earth. All of a sudden, I feel a part of it. I don’t feel like I am this human on a mission to just be my lone human with human purposes all day. I feel like part of the world around me and I feel connected. Connected to something I didn’t even know I needed.

So today as I was staring at the sky, I said to myself, I want to share this with all of you! I love this line from the Rascals.

“It’s a beautiful morning… I think I’ll go outside for a while and just smile.”

Let’s play with a few ideas that might help you fall in love with mornings.

First, Morning Magic could Start the Night Before.
Okay, I know this is a bit of a cheat. But let’s be real – future you loves it when present you lays out your clothes, sets the coffee, or puts your journal by the bed. A little prep the night before is like giving your morning-self a warm hug. And who doesn’t like a good pre-wake up hug?

There is nothing that makes me smile more and makes it easier to get out of bed than knowing I already have my coffee ready to just turn on, brew and enjoy!

And can you Wake Up to Something Lovely?
Really, You don’t have to wake up to your phone blaring a techno remix of anxiety. Try waking up to a favorite song, or even better – a light that mimics a sunrise. Your body goes, “Ah yes. I am a plant. Thank you.”

Bonus points if the first thing you see is something that makes you smile. A picture, a quote, your dog’s face. Maybe your own sleepy face. It’s a good face! If you have a phone addiction and it’s right next to your pillow and you really have to look at it, then turn on the camera and look at your own face! Or have an app like the I AM affirmation app on it and soak up morning affirmations and nothing else! No news! No emails! Don’t start texting people or reading texts. I want you to ask yourself, is it really possible for you to honor yourself for maybe a half hour every morning to create wonder for yourself the rest of the day?

Or try this!
Before you scroll, before you open the floodgates of everyone else’s lives… jot down three things, or ask yourself these three things while your head is still on your pillow…

  • What is one thing I’m grateful for this morning?
  • What is one thing I’m looking forward to today?
  • I love this one… What is One thing I want to feel today?

It takes less than a minute, and suddenly you’re not just reacting to your day – you’re co-creating it. Like a life artist.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Oooh, This could be fun…Romanticize Your Coffee/Tea/Toast Routine.

This is your own rom-com moment. Make your coffee or tea like it’s a love letter. Add cinnamon. Froth the milk. What if you could stare wistfully out the window for at least 6 seconds?  Or like me, take your coffee outside onto your patio, or sunroom, or room with a giant window, or your roof! Someplace that connects you to nature. The way you do small things tells your brain, “Hey, we matter. This day matters.”

I personally start my day with Life Is Good Mugs! Nothing like drinking out of your favorite cup! I have 7 different Life Is Good mugs that I rotate out. Each is for a different day. My yoga one is for Sundays and meditation. My hanging in a lounge chair mug is for my Saturdays when my work week is over. My dog mug is for my dog rescue days. My sunshine one, or ladybug one, or daisy one is for all those days I am ready to embrace or maybe need some extra joy in my morning!

Oooh, I love this idea. Move Like You Love Yourself!
Stretch. Wiggle. Dance to one 90s song. I’m not saying you need to do a full cardio routine at 6 am, unless that’s your jam. But even five minutes of gentle movement can whisper to your nervous system: “All is well, gorgeous.” A little yoga! Go outside! Reach up to the sky and sun, stretch and salute the day.

Now I know – sometimes in our lives, it’s not so easy. When you’re walking through grief, anxiety, illness, burnout, or just the quiet weight of everything, the idea of a “magical morning” might feel… out of reach. And that’s okay. This isn’t about pretending things are perfect – it’s about creating small moments of care in the middle of the mess.

Let me repeat that.  This isn’t about pretending things are perfect – it’s about creating small moments of care in the middle of the mess.

A gentle stretch, a warm mug, a sticky note with a kind word – these tiny rituals won’t erase the hard stuff, but they do help soften it. They give your nervous system something steady. They remind your heart that it’s still allowed to hope. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to begin again.

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love.”  — Marcus Aurelius

Whether you are going through struggles or not at this time in your life, what if you had a Dash of Whimsy all around you? Something to jumpstart a tiny smile or a huge one?

  • Fairy lights in the kitchen? Yes.
  • A shower playlist to greet your day?”  I mean, why not?
  • A note on the bathroom mirror that says “You’re doing amaaaaazing.” Hell yes.
  • An aloha sign! A hummingbird bird feeder outside your window. A dream catcher.
    Sometimes the tiniest things are the sparkliest.
  • Say hello to it all!

Now let’s think about this for a moment. The truth is, “magical” doesn’t mean perfect. A magical morning can still include spilled milk, mismatched socks, or forgetting what day it is. But it’s magical because you showed up. With curiosity. With heart. With the intention to treat yourself gently. That’s where the magic lives.

Doing these small things in the morning doesn’t just make your morning better, it shifts your whole day. You’re calmer in traffic. You smile at strangers. You answer that email with a little more grace. You’re not pouring from an empty cup – you’ve already filled it a little. And people feel that. You feel that.

Suddenly your productivity doesn’t come from pressure, it comes from peace.
Your mood? Brighter.
Your posture? Taller.
Your relationships? A little warmer.
And your smile? Oh, it sticks around longer.

That one magical morning moment can be the domino that topples the whole day into goodness.

My granddaughter said to us at 3 years old, “It’s going to be a great day today, Gigi!” Out of the mouths of babes. So now my husband and I turn to each other when we wake up and say, “It’s going to be a great day today!”

Buddha says,
“Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most.” — Buddha

Oh, beautiful listeners, I hope you got a lot to think about from this podcast. And if you know anyone who would benefit from hearing it please share.

I hope that you take loving care of yourself. Wake up gently! See the beauty all around you. Connect with Gaia, mother nature.

I hope you see the beauty in yourself both inside and out. I hope you drink lots of water, eat nourishing foods, have lots of fun and surround yourself with loving beings.

Thank you for letting me in your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

 

Privacy Policy/Disclosure

Shauna Hoffman is a Marriage Family Therapist and Speaker in private Practice in Santa Clarita, CA. She gives workshops and seminars in Newhall, Valencia and all of Southern CA.

FOR APPOINTMENTS

Appointments may be made by calling (661) 714-5137 or emailing Shauna@workingonme.com