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Why practice Mindfulness

May 21, 2019 By Shauna

Mindfulness is this new buzz word that is showing its face all over the internet. From mindfulness classes to best-selling books, if you really want to be in on the next self-awareness train keep reading! And keep checking back here because I will be doing a full series of posts on Mindfulness.

First myth busted! It’s not new! It is actually a modern Western practice founded on the Buddhist philosophy, ZEN. Remember the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? So what exactly is it? Mindfulness is the ability to be fully present in the moment. It means you are truly aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to what is happening around you at the moment! It is the practice of focusing your mind on whatever you are experiencing in the present.

It is the ability to stop running on remote control. Not to mention quieting all that “monkey mind” chatter in your brain.

Example. Have you ever rushed through your own house and hit your elbow on a wall? Now you know this wall! You live in your house and walk through those halls every day. But this time, you were in such a rush to get to the NEXT room that you were mindless as to where you were going. Now you are holding your arm, shaking your head and saying out loud, “Really? Did I just do that? That was stupid.” It wasn’t stupid. It was mindless. If you had been MINDFUL you would know you were in a rush and been aware of what was around you as you got to your desired destination. And your elbow would feel a helluva lot better.

I know this because I just did this. After spending the morning giving a Mindfulness Workshop for Writers I walked right into my own wall. And I promise you the pain in my elbow dragged me right into the present.

So why should I practice Mindfulness?

It brings down your stress… not to mention your blood pressure
It allows you to become fully aware of your emotions in the moment
It helps you with tools to handle depression or anxiety
It gives you the opportunity to breathe, think and make better choices
It takes you out of your defensive space and helps you to communicate your true feelings to those around you
It helps your creativity by centering your consciousness and allowing your creative spirit to flow
It brings down the pain in your body with breath and awareness to what needs attention
By staying in the moment you can actually reach all of the smaller goals you have that can lead you to your larger success.

And on and on and on!

Anyone who knows me… has read my book, sat in workshops with me, knows that Self Awareness is my favorite path to growth. Actually, I believe, the only path to growth. When you practice mindfulness it is the action that leads to the outcome of self-awareness. When you bring your consciousness to the present you can become SELF AWARE of your thoughts, feelings, desires and biggest dreams.

So take a deep breath. Exhale all the past and future out. Look around you. Take in the sights and sounds. Let go of the next shoulds, musts, have to’s in your day and enjoy the moment you are in.

Then check back here for more posts on Mindfulness!

Here are a few great books by a few of the fathers of Western Mindfulness if you want to start your practice now!

Amazon Associates Disclosure: We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.

Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment and Your Life(Book & CD)) The Miracle of Mindfulness, Gift Edition: An Introduction to the Practice of Meditation Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance: An Inquiry into Values Robert M. Pirsig

The Willingness to Will Nothing

October 7, 2018 By Shauna

As we travel on our journey there are times when everything we think we understand, all of our tools and our knowing of how to survive life’s curveballs seem to be irrelevant. Or maybe outdated is a better word… or archaic… or just plain useless. We find ourselves thinking and thinking about what our next survival tool will be. What will be the anchor in the storm? Revelation…maybe for a moment in your life, you are not supposed to be anchored. Maybe your most current upheaval is a new chance at a new beginning.

Do we always have to understand why things happen to us? Do we always have to have a plan for our lives? I have come to realize that it is the unknowing of life that is the most fulfilling. The deconstructing of a structure that may not have been sound in the first place. The willingness to will nothing. No thing. No outcome. In some moments that means we hurt and we don’t try to hide it or change it or overcome it. In other moments the hurt goes away and we feel relief and strength and hope. The un-structuring of our structure has opened a skylight in our roof. And we see things we have never seen before.

Then the journey begins again. Where? We do not know. Why? We do not care. Who and with whom, it is yet to be revealed to us. But the journey will continue. And it will be magnificent.

I don’t do this

July 23, 2018 By Shauna

This is one of my favorite phrases of all time. You know that moment when you are shocked that you are engaging with someone who is just pissing you off? That moment when you find yourself arguing the inarguable with someone who just won’t listen? Yet, you keep talking? All of a sudden you are dragged into a storm and your mind is screaming how am I going to get out of this? This is how. You just say to yourself, I don’t do this. We all have our opinions and our desire to be heard. But sometimes, with some people, there is no way to be heard.

I just don’t do this.

I don’t engage with someone who is disrespecting me.

I don’t allow myself to be bullied.

I don’t pretend that it is ok.

I don’t do this.

You have to be your own barometer of what you can take. You have to check in with yourself and know that you are being pushed passed the place that you feel comfortable. Or more importantly, feel safe. And then YOU have to say, I don’t do this.

Is this true in relationships? Yes. The most profound place to use this powerful sentence is when you realize that you are stuck in an unhealthy, emotionally scarring relationship; whether friend, family member or lover. The most honest and kind sentence you can ever learn for yourself is I don’t do this.

Now that is self awareness.

Love so deeply, hurt so much

November 8, 2015 By Shauna

Love so deeply, hurt too much.

“I can’t live without him.” “I need her back” . “He was my everything”. “She was my life.” When we love so deeply and we lose our love, the hurt is so profound it feels like an empty whole in our soul. The words “my heart is broken” could not feel more true. How do I help? How do I show a client who is in the darkest hours that this too shall pass? The truth is, the pain they are in is a testimony to the depth of love that they had for their lost love. My job now, hard as it is, is to get them to find a way to accept this. To honor the past and let it go.

There is no denying that we yearn for a life to share with another. We are humans who do feel complete when in the arms of a soulmate. Note, I say,“feel complete”. The truth is we are complete with or without a partner in our life. Now I need to get my heartbroken client to see this, feel this and believe this. Heartbreak is a journey and loss comes in many forms. It can be the death of a loved one. Or it can be the break up of a relationship. Either way, it takes you through all the five Stages of Grief, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance. But unlike the death of a loved one, when a partner purposely leaves you, that person becomes an integral part of the grief process and all the stages to healing. Often bargaining and anger go hand in hand. “If you come back I promise I will change!”. But they don’t. So the anger begins. Then the anger at each other can turn into a hurricane that takes you both deeper and deeper into break up hell. Often just when you think you are out of the anger stage and on the road to acceptance, something triggers you to start all over again. You see them on Facebook moving on without you. Or one too many glasses of wine causes you to pick up that phone and call them. You start cycling backwards again. You don’t believe it’s true. Surely its just a phase and they will come back to you. You are back to denial! Then you get angry again. Then eventually, the depression hits.

The depression is the darkest part of this journey. But it is also the biggest step to acceptance. Hopefully you have stopped the bargaining. The anger is no longer covering the ache in your heart. You see the truth, that this relationship is really over. The next step is for me to help turn the depression into mourning. Depression takes you down into a black hole. Mourning is sadness. Sadness is what I need my clients to find first. “I am so so sad over what is no more. I am so sad that I lost my friend. I am so sad that the dreams I had for our future are over.” Once I see my client truly mourning the loss of this person in their life then I see the light at the end of the deep dark tunnel for them. For after mourning comes acceptance.
The mourning can take a long time. When you love so deeply you hurt so much. It is a cycle. Or what I like to call a ladder to healing. Some days we can pull it together and focus on the future and we go up the ladder three steps. Then other days something hits us and we take a step back down. Hopefully it was three steps up and then only one step down. Then the next time it is four steps up and only one step down. All of a sudden you realize that you are almost to the top. You are almost healed. I tell my clients to keep looking UP! Keep looking UP! Then one day there are no more steps to take. And ain’t the view pretty up there! You are standing there all by yourself! You are healed.

Dreams of your Future

April 3, 2014 By Shauna Leave a Comment

If you are like everyone else, your Facebook page…email inbox…even your favorite magazine covers are all screaming at you to follow your dreams! One beautiful image after another, with a truly inspiring quote, shows up time and time again. Then there are those precious animal pictures that show how some tiny kitten has climbed an unimaginable ladder and made it to the top, insinuating that YOU can too! In this world of positive thinking, affirmations and thoughts of the little engine that could, we are bombarded by images and challenged by others to go after our “dreams” and our life will be perfect. But here is the clincher, many people in this world have no idea what that dream is! Family, finances, obligations and just plain surviving have caused us to stay in the part of our brain that blocks out creative thinking. And THAT is where our dreams flourish…in our creative mind. It is reached by something called the Creative Child side of our spirit. It is this side of us that thinks outside the box and rocks the boat for change. It is the side of us that is spontaneous, free spirited and open for anything. That is the place that dreams are born. That is the energy we need to make our dreams come true. We all have that side of us. But for some it is louder and stronger and more powerful than for others.

So, how do we reach it? The first step is to give ourselves permission! “I give myself permission for the next ten minutes to touch that place within me where all my secret dreams live”. Then sit back and listen. Listen for your child-like voice that has been screaming with playful ideas but not been heard. With permission to dream we open up a part of our psyche that has been silenced. A part we thought didn’t exist, but was truly just hidden in the corners of our mind. Now here is the secret. There is an interesting piece to this process that must take place. In order to reach that creative side in our self we need to let go of LOGIC. An artist does not use logic to paint a picture. An actor does not use logic to embody a character. You can’t think outside the box if your logical brain has stuck you and your entire life IN a box! We need to let go of the negative logical thinking that hold us back. You know the ones that play in our minds and tell us “it can’t happen”. We need to silence those and let our creative voice be heard. We need to give ourselves permission to not be logical for one moment in our life! If you keep practicing this over and over then it will happen. One day you will wake up and your creative voice will be louder than the one that squelches your dreams.

Remember, your dreams of the future have as much of a possibility as anyone else’s! But they will never take place until you figure out what they are.

NOW DREAM IT, CHANGE IT, DO IT, BECOME IT!

I believe in you!

Exercise:

So here is your Dream Challenge

Journal! Write! Dream! Become!
•   What are five things you love to do that represent who you are?
•
•   What are five things that you want to do that you have never done before?
•
•   What is your biggest dream that you would like to accomplish THIS YEAR?
•
•   What is your biggest dream that you would like to accomplish in your lifetime?
•
•   What action can you take today, tomorrow and this week to move toward your dream?
•
•   Why should you do this?
•
•   What would it feel like to accomplish your dream?

Now ask yourself…
• What has stopped me in the past from going after my dreams?
•
• What do I need to change in order to move forward towards my passion?

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