Podcast — Page 3

Life Hacks When Shit Happens

March 27, 2024 By Shauna

I love that this season is called The Rhythm of your life. Because right now my rhythm keeps changing. I think the rhythm of my life is taking me in one direction then out of the blue a whole ‘nother song starts playing in my circumstances, in my life and eventually in my soul. So where am I going with this? I’ve just been thinking a lot about what happens when everything you expect to happen in your life changes. It’s what some would call the direction in your life. But for me it’s not like I am in a car going one direction and it changes. What it is for me is when I think I’m absolutely at peace in my life and all of a sudden something doesn’t feel right. Like my heart rhythm is not in sync with my present life circumstances or choices. Sometimes it’s not the circumstances but the people involved in the circumstances in my life. And sometimes it’s not a nice subtle message it’s a what the hell, earth shattering wake up call! And seriously… who doesn’t just love those?

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome back to season two of A Journey to awareness., I’m Shauna Hoffmann. I love that this season is called The Rhythm of your life. Because right now my rhythm keeps changing. I think the rhythm of my life is taking me in one direction then out of the blue a whole ‘nother song starts playing in my circumstances, in my life and eventually in my soul. So where am I going with this? I’ve just been thinking a lot about what happens when everything you expect to happen in your life changes. It’s what some would call the direction in your life. But for me it’s not like I am in a car going one direction and it changes. What it is for me is when I think I’m absolutely at peace in my life and all of a sudden something doesn’t feel right. Like my heart rhythm is not in sync with my present life circumstances or choices. Sometimes it’s not the circumstances but the people involved in the circumstances in my life. And sometimes it’s not a nice subtle message it’s a what the hell, earth shattering wake up call! And seriously… who doesn’t just love those?

So, when the world turns upside down and your expectations of people, or an event, or your health or your life gets massively turned upside down this is the moment that you can feel that the rhythm in your mind body and soul drastically changes. It feels like your heart IS THE POUNDING DRUM and your brain is like a million cymbals crashing. And the hardest part of all of this is that you can’t seem to quiet it all down to catch your breath, to make sense of something that seems impossible to make sense of.

These changes can be something seemingly small, like a job issue, or someone saying something negative about you, or missing a plane to see those you love. Or a bad date with someone you were hoping to grow a relationship with. Or, it can be bigger, like a fight with a friend, or family member, or you didn’t get the promotion you wanted, or job you were dreaming of or a heartbreaking break up. Or It could be something paramount like the loss of something or someone you love; your beloved animal, your partner, your parent, your home. Or biggest, when you find out you have an illness that you never expected and your reality gets turned upside down.

There is no telling how each of us process these kinds of unexpected life happenings. And sometimes there is no depth of difference in our reactions to the big ones or the small ones. Our physical reactions of heart beating fast, shallow breathing, blood pressure rising. Our emotions; sadness, loss, heartbreak, anger. Our inability to control the situation is one of the hardest things to make sense of. This dreadful feeling of being out of control and our inability to actually comprehend what is happening.

It’s how we deal with it when the unexpected becomes our new reality that will make or break us. And it is truly the self awareness of each thought, fear, answer, body message that will guide us to the tools we have gained in our lives to navigate what feels like the unnavigable. And the tools we need to survive.

I’m a sailor and one of my favorite quotes is from Jimmy Dean. It’s a powerful reminder that we cannot always control our situation but we can control our response to them.

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.”

So how the hell do we do that? Big or small life changing circumstance, or just the unexpected messing with our lives. What do we do when shit happens?

We take a deep breath and we try to change our sails to find the wind again.

Here are some ways to try.

This first one is probably one of the hardest to do but the one that will give us the quickest mindset change, relief of the confusion and a path to healing. It’s acceptance. This one is easier to do for some of the smaller circumstances and unexpected events and much harder to do with some of the major storms that happen in our lives.

Let me clarify something. Acceptance isn’t always accepting the circumstance itself. But it’s accepting your feelings around them. It’s OK to feel disappointed. It’s OK to feel upset. It’s ok to feel heartbroken or even just broken. It’s OK to feel.

But the first healing comes from accepting and acknowledging the reality of what’s happening. You allow yourself to feel the feelings around it. So it’s not necessarily about accepting the circumstance, but looking at yourself and accepting this new reality. One you never planned for.

Then it’s about accepting all of the feelings that you have around this new reality.

Wow that’s hard. We so want to change the reality of something. But this is acceptance. Not necessarily making peace with it. But accepting the reality.

Next you need to somehow calm down the pounding drumming and the cymbals crashing in your body. The symptoms that are reverberating through every cell of your body.

The best way to do that is to merely take a breath. Pause and take a nice deep breath. Sometimes when you do that, you find peace. Sometimes when you do that, the tears finally flow, the anger dissipates, and a whole new set of emotions take place. Not to mention it’s the first step to being able to think more clearly. And when we can think more clearly, we can find a way forward.

Your next tool to healing is to find some kind of support. A friend you can talk, a therapist that can help you work through what’s happening, a family member who might be experiencing the same thing. It could be a priest or rabbi or minister who can help you see a different approach to healing. Support groups! The most important thing with finding support is that hopefully it’s the kind of support that acknowledges where you’re at and is there for you. Maybe they give you a new perspective, or maybe they just listen. But know that your healing is on your own time. So don’t let anyone try to make you feel like you should quickly get over anything. We all heal on our own. Often times our family or friends mean the very best. And often it’s hard for them to see you hurting. But just know that if the support doesn’t feel right, it’s OK to find it somewhere else?

There are so many tools and steps that will help you heal but I think one of the most important is to focus on what you can control in your life right now. When these things happen to us we feel ourselves spinning out of control. It feels like we are in a hallucination. Can this really be true? All you can do is center yourself and put all your concentration on the things you can control!

So here is a tool that seems obvious. But sadly it’s the farthest from our consciousness. Self care.
Practicing self care in these times is loving yourself instead of being angry at life. This means taking care of your body, your mind and your spirit. Exercising, eating right, getting sleep, reaching out for help, finding a way to escape the things that are bringing you sadness or anger, caring for yourself instead of caring about the circumstance. Wow those are big asks. I guess I want you to understand that the more you focus on the circumstance the more you feel out of control. The more you focus on a way out, your healing, the more peace you will find. And your rhythm will change.

I think this next, and last one is probably the hardest. Because when we are deep in the surprise or shock or sorrow of something that has happened and is drastically throwing our rhythm off, it is hard to do what I’m going to ask you to do.

It’s to learn from the experience. Every thing that happens to us in our life is an opportunity for learning and for growth. If you can, reflect on what you can learn from this situation, and how it can actually help you in your life now, and in the future. It will start changing your rhythm.

This whole podcast came for me from an experience that I had this weekend where I had huge expectations about a work event that I was going to. Add to it that it was one that was going to cost me quite a bit of money. And… out of my control, it didn’t happen the way I expected it. But when I look back on it and reflect on it, I asked myself was it really out of my control? Did I ask all of the questions I needed to in order to make sure the experience was what I wanted it to be? Did I have expectations of others that I shouldn’t have had? The change in my vibrations over those three days was some of the most uncomfortable I have felt in a long time. And when I got home, it was so interesting to feel myself breathe again, and calm myself, and feel the rhythm that brings me peace in my heart. It was certainly accepting the situation that helped me get through it. It was breathing and trying to reach out to people I loved to help me understand it. And it was changing the direction of my sails, so I could enjoy my weekend that helped me the most. Reflecting back, the part that makes it easiest to let go of is because I am willing to look at my learning experience that came from this. My mistakes, my unrealistic expectations and my allowing myself to feel the imbalance, not to mention the emotions that I experienced and how if I really became self aware I had the power to change them if I chose to.

I think in life, the answer is to learn to be flexible. To adapt our expectations of ourselves and others and circumstances when things change. But truly the biggest gift is when we find meaning in a part of our life that was unexpected.

This is what this podcast, A journey to awareness is all about. it is a way for us to find the answers to our lives and in turn have a deeper understanding of ourselves… and really… What is better than that?

Being a sailor, this is one of my very favorite quotes of all time…

“I am not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.”
The amazing Luisa May Alcott.

Remember, you’re not alone in facing life’s curveballs. And we are all learning how to ship. Honor these moments of your life. Allow yourself the time and space to navigate through these challenges, and remember to be kind to yourself in the process.

I am so happy that you joined me this week on a journey to awareness. I hope that you are gentle with yourself, eat wonderful food, surround yourself with positive beings, go on beautiful walks, drink lots of water, get lots of sleep. Thank you for joining me this week on A Journey To Awareness, and I look forward to popping back into your life again next time.

The Magic Of Living A Fulfilling Life

March 20, 2024 By Shauna

This season of A Journey to Awareness is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. Well, what the heck does that mean? And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life. Today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to season two of A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffmann.

This season is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. That word is one that so many ads use and magazine covers… are you fulfilled in life?

Well, what the heck does that mean?

And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life.

Ok, let’s start with what does it mean to be fulfilled in life? For me it all comes back to the title of this season, the rhythm of our lives. Its when you can feel that you are exactly in rhythm with your heart, your desires, your joys. When you’re fulfilled and in tune with your soul’s rhythm you experience a deep sense of satisfaction, an overwhelming contentment and meaning in what you do and who you are. Being fulfilled is a state of being where you feel genuinely happy, at peace. But most importantly you feel aligned with your values, your passions, and most importantly your purpose.

For today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

Let’s start with purpose! When you are fulfilled one of the purest joys is having found your place and your purpose in relationships, a sense of purpose in your spiritual and psychological growth, a clear sense of self and a purpose in your work! And most importantly, peace and fulfillment comes from a clear sense of how your life contributes to something larger than yourself. Knowing that your actions and efforts have meaning and contribute positively to the world or even merely to the person standing next to you is a huge boost to creating a fulfilling life. A life with purpose.

Next let’s talk about authenticity. One of the most important things that contributes to a life of fulfillment is living authentically. Authentic self! Genuine self! My favorite words in the world! This means being true to yourself, your values, your morals, your ethics and your beliefs. Living your life. When you align your actions and your choices with who you truly are, what you truly need, you can’t help but feel more fulfilled because you’re not pretending to be someone else or living according to others’ expectations. Living according to others’ expectations instead of your own is one of the most jarring and uncomfortable feelings. And the rhythm of your life knows it.

Now here is one of my favorite pieces of a life fulfilled. Its what my whole podcast is about. Your own journey to awareness. This journey is a lifelong adventure where you are continuously learning, growing, and evolving as a person! Developing new skills, pursuing new interests, overcoming challenges, and expanding your perspective on anything from food to politics, religion to choosing the clothes that you wear. It’s the beauty and grace of becoming aware of your own voice. So one of the most profound parts of being fulfilled is continuing your journey to awareness.

Ok, this next one is pretty obvious. Yet, its also the one that causes more heartache and blocks to true fulfillment. There is no question that living a fulfilling life means surrounding yourself with positive relationships, meaningful connections. How can you possibly be fulfilled in your life without nurturing healthy relationships with family or friends, partners? These relationships are our biggest teachers and our biggest obstacles. And let’s not forget our relationships to the communities that you are in? Community! Last night my husband and I went to a fundraiser for City of Hope. To be in a room filled with people in our town who were there with the same goal to give back was truly FULFILLING! My husband turned to me and said, “Wow, we live in a really great town.”

So you can see, this episode can go on and on! Finding fulfillment takes a whole lifetime for many. Talking about all the ins and outs, joys and challenges in one episode is never going to happen. There is so much to finding fulfillment in life. But I do want to touch on just a few more for you to think about.

Gratitude! Being grateful for what you have and living in the present moment! Wow! Can you feel yourself filling up when you think of what you are grateful for?

What about contributing to the lives of others? Whether it’s through acts of kindness, volunteering, mentoring, or simply being there for someone, this can create a profound sense of fulfillment. Just knowing that you’ve made a positive impact on others’ lives can be incredibly rewarding. And it doesn’t have to be on a large scale. It can be doing something for your child, or a neighbor. Saving a rescue dog! Feeding the birds in your yard. Those moments may seem so tiny. But they are the gold in the treasure of living a fulfilling life.

Now let’s think about how being aware and working on your own Health and Well-being brings you fulfillment ! How many days do your feel better about your life when you have taken care of your physical, mental, or emotional well-being?

Oooh, next let’s think about how achievements and success fulfill your soul. Accomplishing a meaningful goal whether big or oh so small, can change the rhythm of your day, your life, your soul. Sometimes for me its achieving a week of making my bed everyday! It’s crazy how proud of myself I am as I walk by my room! Aaah, the little things that fulfill my life!

Now let me share the final part of my being that truly fulfills me. It’s when I feel balanced in life. And really it’s balancing all the things I have spoken about so far.

I try and help my clients and myself strive for some kind of balance between work, relationships, hobbies, fun and relaxation, self growth, meditation, exercise! And I think we all know that this is by far the hardest thing to do. But it’s the crux of a fulfilling life. One minute we may fill our life with our work, the next a relationship, the next our own breaking free and finding ourselves by leaving a job or a relationship. Then there is balance in our family life. All of these individually create who we are. But by balancing it in a truly healthy way that’s when we are truly fulfilled. There is no longer a feeling that something is missing. We are filled. We are full. We are fulfilled!

It’s important to remember that fulfillment is a deeply personal experience. What brings fulfillment to you may be different for someone else. But when you take the time to understand yourself, what truly matters most to you, and you spend each moment pursuing a life that aligns with your values and your heart, then you have found the “rhythm of your life”!

Oh, I am so glad you joined me today. This podcast is truly a part of what fulfills my life. I’m so grateful for my listeners, soul partners on this journey to awareness as we each find the rhythms of our lives.

May the next week fill you with so much happiness, kindness to yourself and others. Eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, do something crazy and fun, fill your mind with lots of positive things and listen to amazing music as you find the rhythm of your soul. Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and look forward to popping back again next time.

Change Up The Radio Station To Your Soul

March 13, 2024 By Shauna

Hello and welcome back to a journey to awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

This second season of my podcast is wrapped around something I call the rhythm of our lives. In the first episode I spoke about how our bodies, minds and souls can feel a rhythm to it if we are self aware enough to sense it. Maybe a vibration, maybe a new beat or melody that is trying to guide us to where we are supposed to be. I touched on the thought that sometimes we get stuck in the song of our current life. When everything in your life is begging you to change the radio station! Change that song! Let go! But something has held you back.

SHOWNOTES:

Like a record that keeps skipping. Or a Spotify channel that replays the same song over and over. Your spirit is wanting something so different but it just won’t change! In that moment you know you are craving a totally different vibration but it’s like Groundhog Day, over and over nothing changes.

Here’s the truth. That stuck feeling will eventually affect you in ways that you don’t expect. You start to feel anxious, or unmotivated, or even depressed! This is what happens when your soul knows it’s time for change and you can’t bring yourself do it.

Today, on the second episode of this season, I wanna delve into one of the most common things that stop us from changing. Even when your life is screaming for it! Friends are saying, “Come on, do it! Believe in yourself!” One of the biggest things that stop us is fear of failure!

And here is an interesting thing! Fear of failure is fear isn’t just about failing in the future. But it’s also a fear that if you make this change, leave that unhealthy relationship, end a marriage, quit your job, you are actually admitting defeat. So many times people will say to me it was a failed marriage. Uh, no. It didn’t fail. It ran its course! It wasn’t healthy anymore. You weren’t happy anymore. You lost your genuine self in deference to the marriage.

You are not a failure if you tried everything to make something work.

Ok, the stay or leave a relationship conversation…we’ll that’s a whole other topic for another day.

For today let’s play with some of these judgements that swirl around in your mind when your soul is screaming for change. “Shauna if I quit my job it must mean that I failed to make it work! I must not be smart enough, or savvy enough, or creative enough. Shauna, if I end this friendship it must mean that I am a horrible friend. Or this one, This diet sucks and I can’t do it. I failed at it. I’ll never lose weight.”

But listen carefully to this wisdom!

Change is not admitting defeat! Being self-aware enough to realize that something is no longer working for you, no longer making you happy no longer moving you forward in your life, no longer supporting your dreams then it’s time to change!

Here’s a really great quote by John Wooden that puts the word failure into a great perspective.

“Failure is not fatal. But failure to change might be”

Now to be clear I am not talking about cutting and running in times of challenges. I’m talking about being self aware enough to check in with your, body heart, soul and life’s rhythm. Let’s try a self awareness diagnosis.

Ask yourself.

Is your body trying to tell you something? Are you getting headaches? Are you feeling anxiety or stress. Are you sleeping? Clenching your jaw? Are you having feelings that are overwhelming and don’t seem to go away? This, despite any effort, you might make to manage them? Are you grouchy? Are you overeating to fill a void?

Then check in and ask yourself:

Do you feel fulfilled in your life? Wow, this one is so important. If you’re continually feeling so dissatisfied or restless or unfulfilled in your current situation, it is definitely a sign that something needs to change. So many people are brought up with this false belief that you’re not supposed to be fulfilled. You’re supposed to just get through life, work hard, make money or take care of family and that should be all it takes to be fulfilled. I beg to differ!

So my next podcast is going to be all about what it means to be fulfilled?

Ok back to your self awareness check in.

Here’s one that most people are afraid to look at. Joy.

It’s when activities or interests that normally bring you lots of joy no longer do. You’ve lost your passion or your interest in the current situation. Or your current situation has caused you to lose passion for life. I see this with so many clients! And friends! They’re just going through the motions every day with not very much Joy. And the funny part is that they don’t think that’s odd. For me, I truly believe that passion is what keeps us out of depression. I’m not talking about sexual passion or intimacy. I’m talking about that spark inside of us, that creates joy. In other words, is your current rhythm and song just boring as hell?

Ok, here is one of the most typical ways people avoid change. They self medicate. They might have those extra drinks a couple of times a week. Or find that they need to smoke weed when they come home at the end of the day. Then, some people actually have a little bit healthier way of self-medicating. ,,lol They kick up their adrenaline and their hormones by becoming workout addicts. Believe me working out is one of the best things that you could do for your moods, but not if that is the only thing that’s keeping you happy.

Oh, here’s a few other ways people go into denial that they are being called to make a change in their life. Being called to be uncomfortable for just a little while in order to find happiness. They turn all their attention on other people instead of themselves.

They put other people’s needs or the companies needs, or their friend’s or partner’s needs before their own needs. It’s self sacrifice. And wow it’s sure seems like a noble thing to do. Until it’s not. Until you are living everyone else’s song instead of your own.

So think about all the parts in your life and see if you are living in Groundhog Day. Relationship? Work? How you play? Yup… this can get boring, too. Have you wanted to move to another town, city, country? Learn something new? Change up your look? Clothes? Paint your house?

I won’t pretend that change is easy. I won’t pretend that change brings immediate joy. I won’t pretend that there are not lessons that go with it. But I will say that the lessons in your life and the difficulty and unhappiness you will feel if you DON’T change are much worse.

And here is the BEST part! I’m now going to list all of the amazing rewards to making change in your life!

Change, opens doors to new opportunities, new friendships, new possibilities and careers, new hobbies, new personal growth! Some of the best ways to grow as a human is to challenge yourself to step out of comfort zones and grow, learn something new, it gives you resilience, you learn and discover new strengths that you didn’t even know you had. And with THAT wow your confidence boosts to new highs, and that gives you the strength to take on even more challenges, tackle more obstacles which in turn builds more self-confidence, and more belief in yourself! It’s this fabulous trajectory of how one thing builds on the other! And with all of it, you find a new perspective on life. You start to see the world in a totally new way.

My favorite part… Change offers you a new sense of adventure and excitement. Sometimes that adventure and excitement is travel and sometimes that adventure and excitement is a new relationship or a new home or a new city or a new job! All of this gives you a new vitality and an energy for life and guess what your rhythm changes. And your song becomes your own! If you can embrace with an open mind and an open heart, you can create a life that brings you so much, vibrancy and meaning and possibilities!

So go ahead change that Spotify in your soul! Turn up the volume! And sing!

Beautiful listeners, thank you so much for joining me on this podcast today. Please be good to yourselves! Surround yourself with loving beings, take chances in life, drink, lots of water, try new adventures, and most of all be kind and gentle with yourself. Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to checking in again next time.

It seems Again those are interesting ways to avoid that your life is desperately begging for something new. Something that’s going to take you out of the feeling that you’re living in a Groundhog Day

Here are my steps

Fear of Failure: Fear of failing can hold people back from taking risks or making changes in their lives. This fear can prevent them from pursuing new opportunities or making necessary changes.

Lack of Confidence: Low self-esteem or confidence can make it difficult for individuals to believe in themselves and their abilities. This lack of belief can lead to inertia and a sense of being stuck.
Comfort Zone: People often become accustomed to their routines and comfort zones, making it challenging to step outside of familiar territory. This fear of the unknown can keep them from exploring new paths.

Negative Thought Patterns: Persistent negative thoughts and beliefs can create a mental barrier to progress. These thoughts can be self-limiting and prevent individuals from seeing possibilities beyond their current situation.

Lack of Clarity or Goals: Without clear goals or a sense of direction, it’s easy to feel adrift and stuck. Not knowing what one wants or how to achieve it can create a sense of being trapped in one’s circumstances.

External Circumstances: Sometimes, circumstances beyond our control, such as economic challenges, health issues, or family responsibilities, can make it difficult to move forward or make changes.
Procrastination: Putting off important decisions or actions can lead to a feeling of being stuck in a rut. Procrastination can prevent progress and maintain the status quo.

Unhealthy Relationships: Toxic or unsupportive relationships can drain energy and create a sense of being trapped. Breaking free from these relationships can be challenging but necessary for personal growth.

Lack of Resources: Limited access to resources such as time, money, education, or opportunities can hinder progress and make it challenging to change one’s circumstances.

Past Trauma or Events: Past experiences, especially traumatic ones, can have a lingering impact on a person’s mindset and behavior. Unresolved trauma can hold individuals back from moving forward.

Breaking free from feeling stuck often involves self-reflection, seeking support, setting goals, and taking small steps towards change. Therapy, coaching, self-help techniques, and building a support network can all be valuable.

Ha. For those of us who remember, turntables, or the new generations who have found this magical treasure from the past. Ok, we were on a Virgin Voyages cruise last month and Richard Branson’s design team put turntables and albums in our cabins! It was fabulous!

Ok I digress. enough to have one now! when it’s time to change the radio station! Time to break.

70 Rhythm of Our Lives

March 6, 2024 By Shauna

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. I am so excited to be back with a New season of A Journey to Awareness Podcast.

When I finished the last series of podcasts, I found myself searching for what I wanted to talk about, and share with you, and even experience for myself differently than before, in the last year and a half I have had so many experiences that have shown me something that I would like to call….the rhythm of my life. So I decided to call this season’s podcasts just that. The Rhythm of our Lives. We are going to explore all the things that change our rhythms. Like friendships, breakups, moves, new jobs, losses, births and of course family. So I hope you come with me as we explore the ever changing song that is you.

SHOWNOTES:

I have spent the last year on my own journey to awareness. World travels, new opportunities, new people in my life, the loss of my father, betrayal and deep love.

I have had one new learning after another! Then I started to feel it all in my body…in my soul.

Like a song.

I realized that there are times in my life my rhythm was very fast, often staccato just like a song. If I took a moment and checked in with my body I could feel it. I could feel a beat. And then something would happen and it would change. I found that I was experiencing life like a song! So I looked back at the last year and a half and I thought. OK maybe it wasn’t one song, maybe it was a full album! Have you ever noticed that when artists go through a break up, they produce an entirely different kind of music then when they are madly in love? And why is it that music tells our stories in so many ways?

I started to think about that and all of a sudden I got this epiphany that my entire life is actually an album of one song after another. I was music! Each time in my life had a different rhythm, different lyrics, sometimes the music coming from inside me felt louder and brassier, other times I could feel my body, my mind and my spirit in a soft flow.

When I think of the rhythm and music that is me, there were times, when I felt like a fast dance song, that kept building and building and building into an incredible frenzy! Those times happened a lot when I was young. Heart pumping love affairs, new jobs that made me a nervous wreck with anticipation, excitement and very often fear.

And then there were other times where I found myself living the life of a jazz song, easy and smooth and melodic, sometimes sleepy and relaxing. This is the grace and joy of getting older. We know how to sit and listen to our own rhythm versus being guided by things outside of us. Or if they are outside of us we have created a life where our journey has taught us the tools to not become a frenzied mess.

And then there were those times where my life was experiencing adventure, travel, new cultures, the unknown. On my travels i would keep my heart and eyes wide open and i kept a consciousness and a willingness to change my rhythm as I traveled. A spontaneity. I found that my rhythm was in tune with whatever culture I was in. Island ease on a South Pacific beach, or classical as my body felt like the melody of a Bach song roaming the streets of Europe.

In the last year I have traveled to the Caribbean and felt the sun and sand melt away the everyday rhythms I usually feel in my body. Then I went on a spiritual retreat to Teotihuacan with my soul sister and studied ancient Toltec philosophy while walking the pyramids and challenging my thinking, my beliefs, my identity.

I love this quote by Toltec Master Don Miguel Ruiz because it was so much my experience on that trip in his Toltec world.

Life is like dancing. If we have a big floor, many people will dance. Some will get angry when the rhythm changes. But life is changing all the time.

On this trip, in the world of the Toltecs, when my awareness was being challenged, my current thoughts, beliefs and my reality, I found myself feeling the rhythm of drums beating heavy in my body, yet none were there. It was if my current thoughts, beliefs and my reality were being beaten like a drum out of me. The next moment when I came to some sense of peace around my new awareness the beating stopped. And soon a beautiful gentle rhythm took over in my body and my soul. One that actually felt the most genuine and peaceful I had ever experienced.

Then on this life changing trip we ended the week with a fire walk. And my rhythm went from gentle peace to wild staccato to the most expanding feeling I have ever known. Like my body was a jazz band walking the streets of New Orleans.

So I began to wonder is it a rhythm-like feeling within my body or a vibration? It wasn’t as if this new epiphany was writing songs in my head. It wasn’t about lyrics. It was about an energy that I could feel vibrate through my whole body. Sometimes it was a peaceful energy. Sometimes it was an exciting energy. And then I began to wonder which comes first? Is this vibration and energy that my body is feeling what is creating within me a desire to go on an adventure? Or is it the thought process of going on an adventure that’s creating this incredibly different energy and vibration in my body? Most importantly if I listen closely what are my rhythms telling me?

Then after much contemplation I wondered does it really even matter?

When I talk about a journey to awareness, one of the tools to awareness is knowing what you’re feeling, thinking, believing in the moment. So I thought to myself that my own journey to awareness today, just today, was going to be trying to tune into my rhythm.

So if you are willing, I want you to take a minute and see if you can feel your rhythm. Feel the energy moving through you. Close your eyes and take a nice big exhale now take another breath in and exhale. Now see if you can feel your rhythm.

Is your heart beating fast?

Is your mind able to quiet itself?

What does your body feel like? I will throw some rhythms out and see if any feel like you.

Breathe in. Out.

Is your life and rhythm right now a heavy rock song?

A rap song?

R and B perhaps?

Is it the Caribbean island beat of a reggae song?

Is it the gentleness of a Hawaiian or South Pacific rhythm?

Is it the easy going vibe of 70s yacht rock?

Is it in a classical rhythm and mood?

Is it a smooth jazz song?

Is it the simplicity of a country song?

Is it the ease of a rat pack song?

Take a moment as I get quiet and I want you to feel the rhythm of your body right now.

Great, open your eyes.

If you like to journal, take a few moments today and reflect on your life. Reflect on the different times and experiences and how your rhythm changed. Then I want you to ask yourself a very profound question. Is it time to reset your rhythm because your energy is stuck on one from your past?

For instance, during times of loss our rhythm and vibration is so very heavy. Often people who have a hard time healing from the loss carry that rhythm in their souls for a very long time. Often their life changes and lifts them into new experiences yet they cannot shake the heavy sad rhythm. Or, for some, they find a comfort in returning to the heavy sad beat, almost fearful to let go of it.

Other times someone may be trying to stay in an upbeat rhythm when their life is asking them to slow down that beat. Honor the change and sit with it a while.

It’s as if in both of these situations your mind, your thoughts, are causing this massive glitch by trying to be both rhythms at once.

This is when self awareness comes in. Is it time to let go of one rhythm so you can find peace, or healing, or joy?

Is it time to change the radio channel in your soul?

I love this quote by Edward Hirsch because it helps us realize that we can actually let our rhythms guide us out of what we think is where we are supposed to be.

“Rhythm is sound in motion. It is related to the pulse, the heartbeat, the way we breathe. It rises and falls. It takes us into ourselves; it takes us out of ourselves.”

It takes us out of ourselves. We each have the power with true self awareness to listen to the beat of our souls. And with that same self awareness we have the power to change it!

Beautiful souls, welcome back to A Journey to Awareness. And as I welcome you back I also welcome myself back!

Please be kind to yourselves. Drink lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings and listen to amazing music that touches your soul! Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to welcoming you back again, next time.

69 Unlock The Golden Handcuffs To Your Dreams

June 18, 2022 By Shauna

Hello and welcome to a Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman

Oh, so many journeys to delve into today! Journeys that take us on adventures around the world. And journeys that take us to the deepest parts of our psyche and soul. And sometimes they go together! Today I am going to dig into the idea of The Golden Handcuffs! If you have never heard that saying before it was originally used by companies that kept giving perks and financial incentives to their employees in order to keep them from quitting or going elsewhere. Get it? Golden Handcuffs? Well in the world of psychotherapy we have come to use that saying to show that sometimes we stay in relationships way too long because we don’t want to give up the lifestyle we have at the time. Or we don’t go after our passions because the job we are in has us so quote-unquote “secure” that we push our dreams aside in order to keep the money status quo.

SHOWNOTES:

But the golden handcuffs are truly handcuffs that are tying you down and keeping you from your happiness! Ok, I won’t sugarcoat that sometimes the fear of living a different lifestyle…less than what we are living now, can be really frightening. But the unhappiness that goes along with that really great pool, or driving that sports car, or wearing those designer clothes cannot heal a lonely heart. It can’t quiet that haunting feeling, or guilt when you are pushing aside the messages from your soul that there is something else and it is waiting for you! Something that feels more right than the current not-so-right. Something that represents you to the deepest part of your being. So in the end it comes down to deciding… what’s important in life!

On the other side of the coin, when we’re secure in our finances, The Golden handcuffs also come into play in the way we spend our money. Or our fears around spending our money. What can we afford? What money are we willing to part with in order to go after our dreams? Can we unlock the handcuffs to stretch our finances to fulfill a dream? Can we change jobs in order to fulfill our souls versus our bank accounts? Can we take that one very special trip we’ve always dreamed of?

My husband and I recently kicked out a Galapagos cruise website, cruisingtotheglapgos.com …because we have a dream of sailing to these magical islands filled with the most extraordinary wildlife. Have you ever heard of a place where the wildlife have no fear of humans? It happens on The Galapagos. They come right up to you, or casually walk right by you! You can swim with the penguins or surf with the seals. It’s like no experience anywhere in the world. But on the other hand, it is really expensive. I have taken over 200 cruises all around the world and nothing has called to me more than this cruise. And there it was. The bank account Golden handcuffs. Do we dig into our savings and splurge on our biggest dream vacation ever? Or do we let it sit in the bank and collect interest until someday when we may need it?

Maybe it’s the golden handcuffs. Or is it fear around lack? Fear around the unknown what ifs? What if we have a house emergency or a medical emergency?

We talked it all through and then we had a change in perception! It didn’t take us long to realize that life is too short, the world is changing, and we don’t know what our futures will bring us, especially after the Covid hell we have all just gone through. But if I let go of fear, and look at what my true passions and dreams are then why the hell would I not book this trip? And What if the what-ifs are actually a huge financial windfall or success? What if can go both ways!

And there ya have it. The golden handcuffs are really just the word fear wrapped up in shiny gold. And it most often keeps us from choosing our own happiness. I love to have my clients really think about how money affects their lives. Obviously, we need it to survive. So many people have struggled in the last year and so many are still struggling.

So how does that affect the way they look at money?

Have you ever thought about what money is? I have! It’s really just another form of energy exchange!

Think about it… someone creates a handmade chair. They use their creative energy and physical energy to design and build it. Then they sell it and get paid for it. Money is the exchange for their energy!

Then the chair maker takes that money and goes to the farmers market and buys fruit. Fruit that was grown with the energy of the farmer. So the chair maker exchanges the energy he received in the form of money and gives it to the farmer…

Then the farmer buys a dress for his little girl… he exchanges that energy he received in the form of money and he gives it to the dressmaker. And it goes on and on from there! All that energy has just been shared around the world. All that money is is the energy of thousands and thousands of people around our planet.

Now the big stuff….
I like to ask my clients to look at the Golden Handcuffs in a different way. What if the golden handcuffs are not about how much money we have or make… but what if it is about the way we perceive money. And what if the way we perceive money is wrapped around what we believe we deserve in life?

There are so many books on this topic. When I did some of my own internal work around money and what I believe I deserve I was fascinated by what I learned. There is a great book, written years ago called The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder. She talks about the concept of the Vacuum Law of Prosperity. She says that if you want greater good in your life, greater prosperity, and greater happiness then you have to form a vacuum to receive it. You have to get rid of what you don’t want to make room for what you do want. It is the same concept in Feng Shui. In other words, you have to empty a space for the universe to fill it. Or better yet, for you to fill it!

Let me say this. I am not suggesting that you spend your money without thinking about how much you can spend without putting yourself in debt. Or irrationally making decisions. I am asking you to make sure that you give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

Let me say that again…

I am asking you to make sure that give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

When I did that for myself I thought about every vacation or trip I have taken and the experience that I have had. Traveling I have lived and learned so much more than I ever could have at home. I have been challenged to let go of my pre-conceived ideas about people, cultures, and the world. When I think of the things in life that have had lasting impacts on me, memories that touch me deeply, they are invariably from an adventure I’ve been on.

And so it is! That’s all it took for me to realize I am booking my Galapagos cruise.

I have talked about many of my adventures on my podcasts… walking the streets of Budapest with my Hungarian mom, finally visiting and meeting the Cuban people, my 50th birthday hiking the trails the Incas did to Machu Picchu, and seeing the Southern cross along the way! Riding a camel in Egypt as I stare at the pyramids! Wineries in Italy, the ruins in Greece, horseback riding in Mexico. How they taught me to love and respect other cultures.How I learned so much about myself on every one of them.

How can I ever put a dollar amount on how those trips touched my soul? I can’t. I know that they cost me money. Do I remember how much? No! But do I absolutely know how each of them changed my life? Yes!

So I am going for it. The golden handcuffs will not stop me from walking with giant tortoises on The Galapagos and seeing the dance of the blue-footed booby!. After all, I truly believe that the vacuum I create will be filled with more joy than I can possibly imagine! And the energy I receive back from the energy I put out will be shared all around the world.

So what are your golden handcuffs?

What have you wanted in life that money has kept you from?
What changes have you avoided because you have not wanted to unlock the golden handcuffs?

And most importantly what do you deserve in your life?

I am excited to share that I have a women’s retreat with an amazing therapist and life Coach, Molly Lyda this October. And what is the name of it? “It’s my turn”. A three-night Journey to awareness lovefest to honor all that you deserve and love about yourself! It is all about claiming your right to happiness! Check it out on my blueoceanretreats.com website.

So now it’s your turn. Take some long walks and think about this episode and what it means to you! Journal! Look up at the stars and let your own dreams come to life. You don’t need a shooting star to wish on. You can do it for yourself! Unlock the golden handcuffs, stretch your arms out to the universe and live life to your absolute fullest!!

To all of the amazing souls listening today, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

FOR APPOINTMENTS