Awareness

Expect The Unexpected

May 1, 2024 By Shauna

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

Are you ready for the unexpected? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Many of you know this, and some of you don’t know. I own another business called Whodunit. It started as a mystery theater company turned into a mystery cruise company, turned into a giant event cruising business. I have been lucky enough to cruise over 200 times in my life, all over the world. And our Whodunit motto is, “expect the unexpected”! So I thought, what a perfectly fun motto and life hack I have been living for the last 40 years to talk about today.

To expect the unexpected can be anything! The unexpected could be some amazing gift that you receive, or a relationship you never expected to have, or you win the lottery! Or the unexpected could be a glitch in your life, or something went wrong in your day. The unexpected can either be looked at as a good thing or a challenge. Well, I want to kind of look at it today just as the unexpected. Neither good nor bad!

OK, this motto goes right along with living in the present. It means that you stay exactly where you are and expect that you never know what’s gonna happen next. I guess it could also be, expect nothing and see what comes. Or, expect that you will be able to handle whatever comes. Good, bad, challenging, fun, crazy, miraculous.

So how do you take the next step and stay flexible? First you breathe. Then you assess. Then you have to gather all of your mind skills and awareness of the situation to look forward, not back, to change or adjust your plan. Even the best, unexpected events still need us to adjust our day or our thoughts or our emotions or our future.

There is a skill, or perception or attitude that I try to embrace in these moments. It’s maintaining a positive attitude. If I can do this even in the worst circumstances I can remember that I am a resilient person. I always get back up.

This is not so easy for everyone.

OK, this is going out to my listeners who may have depression or anxiety or be Type A personality, who feel more comfortable when they can control a situation. Embracing expect the unexpected will be most difficult for you. Anxiety comes from the inability to control the situation in your mind. And in order to stay open enough to expect the unexpected and be resilient you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything in your life. And for so many of you, this is the biggest challenge. The hardest part for this kind of personality is keeping a positive mindset. And how the heck do you do that if a new situation is making you feel fearful or nervous or anxious?

The first thing you have to do is let go of the idea and expectations that you had of the situation in the first place That situation has changed or it can change at a drop of the hat and there is no going back. While you’re in the situation and trying to manage it, you can’t start playing over all the things you did wrong. Instead you face forward and you open your mind to use all of that creativity and insight we talked about. Stay in the moment you are in and figure out how to take just one step. One step towards handling the situation.

Now here is a whole ‘nother way to think about expecting the unexpected. I always thought my husband worried too much about some thing that was going to happen while we made plans. His answer to me was, a “I’m not worrying. I am preparing for anything that could happen in this situation.” Well that made a lot of sense and I understood that his emotions weren’t wrapped up in preparing for it. He really wasn’t worrying. He was just preparing. So check yourself and see if you’re worried about something that is coming up in your life? Or are you preparing for it? And then be ready to throw everything out the window. Because if you have prepared for it, then it is not unexpected! And this whole episode is expect the unexpected!

Obviously, there are going to be times when the unexpected is something really difficult or heartbreaking, a loss of someone or something profound. Those are probably some of the most unexpected things that happen in our life. So for those situations keeping a positive mindset is very difficult. And I wouldn’t expect it of you. But the tools that you have in that situation are the ones that will help you get through. First you get support from everyone in your life that can be there for you. Next you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being as you try to navigate this unexpected event. Being adaptable! Realizing that as a human, you really are adaptable even when you feel like you cannot move. Remembering that you have the power and eventually the strength to move forward with the support of your friends and family or professionals and do it with self-care. Eventually, you will have a change in perspective. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual book of psychology and it says that a miracle is a change in perception. You might not have that as you are in the situation but eventually your peace will come from a change in perspective and perception around the unexpected that happened in your life. In times like this, because I study the course, I just sit down and close my eyes and ask for a miracle. I am asking for a change in perception. One that will bring me just a little bit of peace.

OK now let’s have some fun and talk about the mindset behind expecting the unexpected and being ready for wonderful, amazing, miraculous, fun, wildly entertaining things to show up in your life. Things that you never expected. This is the mentality that people have when we say that they look at life with their glass half full instead of glass half empty. Admittedly, I am one of those people. I am always waiting for the miraculous to show up in my life each day. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself what is today going to bring me? I know what I have planned for the day, but the universe works in mysterious ways and my motto is expect the unexpected. So what is the unexpected gonna bring me today? Try it right now! You know what the rest of your day is supposed to be. Now say to yourself, “I expect the unexpected! I can’t wait to see what today will bring me!!”

Our minds are programmed! And believe me when I say that you can reprogram them! You can reprogram yourself to think positively instead of negatively. You can ask yourself how thinking negatively is helping you in your life and instead you can say, I choose another way. And then start practicing, practicing, practicing every day to look at the world with your glass half full. Then wait for that thing that is going to fill it all the way up!

My mom was a holocaust survivor. She was in Auschwitz from the age of 11 to 13, after her family was all killed. Yet my mom was one of the most joyous and positive people I have ever known. I used to say, “Mom you wear rose colored glasses”. And her answer to me was, “I know, I put them on.” Wow,v that said it all! She could’ve looked at her life as a glass half empty. Instead, she not only looked at it as half full, she looked at it as overflowing.

And thankfully, that is what she taught me!

I think for my mom it came from one word. Gratitude. She had so much gratitude for her life and that she survived, that it kept her looking forward in her life instead of looking back. It kept her staying in the moment instead of living in the past. And it kept her appreciating everything in her life instead of seeing what she no longer had.

To expect the unexpected means that you look for the silver lining in everything that happens in your life. It is also looking towards each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you.

Wow! Let me say that again! It is looking at each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you! I love the words, I deserve!

Right now, I want you to say this to yourself, I deserve wonderful things in my life.

I deserve magical things to happen to me today.

I deserve happiness, joy, fun, and miracles!

Then, after you turn off this podcast today, I want you to write a full page of everything that you deserve in life! And remember, you may not believe it yet, but this will be the beginning of reprogramming your mind and putting on your rose colored glasses!

I love this quote by Rhonda Byrne
There is a truth, deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this… you deserve all good things life has to offer.

So today if you are going to expect the unexpected, I hope you expect all good things that life has to offer.

My beautiful listeners, please be good to yourself, drink, lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings, get lots of rest, go out and have fun, and expect the unexpected!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time

67 A Worldly Adventure Called Choice

February 19, 2022 By Shauna

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

Thanks for joining me today on this deep dive into why I hate the word, “Habits”. And most importantly that I have learned that travel is the best way to rethink the way we live our lives, the choices we make and the “HABITS” we have created. It all started because I downloaded this cool app that was supposed to help me set up goals to change my habits. I started it a month before I took a trip to Canada. I had been dedicated to this app trying to get me to change my habits. Then all of a sudden here I was on my trip, waking up in a different bed, looking at a different view and it didn’t’ take me long to realize I felt like I was being nagged to death by an app! Oh, it’s a really pretty app with really great audio content and opportunities for changes in your thinking. Lots of it… but when I didn’t do what they wanted me to do it made me feel bad. And here I was on vacation and guilt was the last thing I wanted traveling with me. Fair enough, I was the only one putting guilt on myself! But it was time to dump the app.

I realized that there was one thing better than an app to change my habits. Travel. I realized that travel and change in your environment force you to relinquish certain habits just long enough for you to rethink their worth in your life! Whether it’s the food that you eat every morning that is not right there in your hotel room, or cruise ship cabin, or whether it is that morning ritual of reading your emails before you get out of bed yet here you are out to sea and you have no internet! When you travel habits have no choice but to be challenged!

And when we challenge a thought process or lifestyle choice we give ourselves the opportunity to morph! To grow! To expand! To live, and to breathe in ways we have never breathed before. It’s funny because at first, it is a bit uncomfortable. “Wait! Canada doesn’t have my favorite coffee? Can I really start my day without it?”

Uh… yeah! And how glorious it is to experience something new if we open our consciousness to change and choice! Ahhhhh the word “choice”!

All habits, negative habits or positive habits are truly just choices! Today I choose to do the app. Today I choose to drink water. Today I choose to do my yoga. Today I choose to binge-watch TV and do nothing. Today I choose to try a new coffee and sit on a balcony in Canada and read a book and not look at my emails or texts or social media and just breath!

And with that statement, my life changed! I realized that I hated the word Habits and I loved the word choices!

Let’s break down first what habits are. They are those behaviors that we repeat so much that they no longer involve conscious thought. In other words, they are behaviors that we engage in by HABIT! But the truth is it started with Choice! I had to choose to take part in that behavior first! There was a conscious THOUGHT that spurred my behavior.

Now, think about these two statements and see which will empower you more. I will get into the habit of drinking water today. Or “I choose to drink water all day today.” Bam! That is so empowering! No guilt! Choice!

OK- I do think there is something to the idea that once our choices become a lifestyle for us then they become a subconscious choice versus a conscious one. We no longer have to think about something we want to do. We no longer have to consciously choose to do it or not. Our subconscious takes over the motivation and then the behavior. But it all started with conscious choice.

And then one day you find yourself in a new place, a houseboat, or a cruise ship cabin, or a friend’s fold-out couch, and all of a sudden your subconscious choices are blaring right in front of you because you can’t participate in them, and you can’t count on them. And at THAT moment you either adapt or you have an anxiety attack! HA!

It’s the moment that you choose to adapt and look at this situation differently that your whole world has the opportunity to change!

Lifestyle is exactly what travel challenges you to go beyond.

But what happens when you are back home? Your old habits are screaming to take over again. And there it is. You can choose to go back to the same rituals or you can bring all the new behaviors and thought processes and experiences you learned while away back home with you. And this is when my favorite words come in. Self-awareness!

In order to make positive choices in our lives, we have to be self-aware. We have to be able to check in with our minds, bodies, and souls to see what we need. We need to ask ourselves if I felt better, or happier, or healthier when I was away than when I’m home? And if so what new CHOICES do I want to embrace and claim for my new lifestyle now that I am back? When you open your eyes in the morning and reach for your phone you need to ask yourself am I about to lose the joy and self-awareness that I gained on my last adventure? Or am I going to go back to the lifestyle I had before I learned what truly makes me happy? Because the answer is…..yep, I’m going to say it…you have a Choice!

Change, whether it’s travel or a new coffee in the morning gives us the opportunities to turn off remote control in our lives and live in the moment. And at that moment I promise you that life will feel more genuine, more creative, happier, and more fulfilling.

We can make the choices that either empower our lives, help us stay healthy, surround us with positive relationships, release our creativity and most importantly bring us happiness, or we can go back to remote control.

Take a nice easy breath and think about this. What choices can you make to honor your true self just today? What choices can you make to show yourself that you are worthy of self-love? What pieces of your past do you want to leave outside the door the next time you walk back in? And then ask yourself, what new coffee do you want to try tomorrow?

Here is a lovely quote by John Maxwell. Life is a matter of choices. And every choice you make makes YOU.

Oh, my adventurers on the journey to you, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED:

• A Journey to Awareness Podcast: https://www.workingonme.com/podcast
• Shauna’s website: https://www.workingonme.com

WHEN DOES IT AIR:
February 19, 2022

39 The Art Of Healthy Fighting

October 11, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

Hello, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

So I asked a few listeners about what we should attack on the journey to awareness this week. And one listener said.. healthy communication. Ok, that wasn’t exactly what she said. She said, Can you do a whole podcast telling my partner what they are doing wrong when they fight with me? And then a few other expletives after that. HA! I said, sure. But you may not like what I say. Because fights take two people.

So whether you are listening to this podcast and wondering how to have a really good, healthy fight with a partner, parent, sibling, or friend I now welcome you to the Art of Fighting 101… otherwise known as, “You may have to get past your anger, check yourself, and just listen.”

[Read more…]

38 It’s Time For Your Journey To Self Awareness

October 3, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

Our life is the most incredible journey! We have highs and lows. We have huge accomplishments and many struggles. But we travel through them all. I love the thought of our human awakening as a journey.

A journey is described as traveling from one place to another. It usually represents traveling over a long period of time. Well, what is more true than our life’s journey? Our consciousness and our egos, our pains, and our growth, our happiness, and our heartache all taking us on a journey to the deepest parts of ourselves? The Journey To Self Awareness! Oh and the ports we stop at along the way! The people we meet on this journey, the storms we survive, and the beautiful days with the wind in our sails flying us through to our next adventure! The beautiful adventure to the deepest part of our own souls.

The journey to you!

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25 Encore Of The Three Selves

July 4, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

Hello and welcome to Guy Free Working on me, a woman’s journey to self-awareness. I’m Shauna Hoffman. I’m so glad you’re with me today.

Today I am sharing an encore of a very popular episode called the path of the three selves. We’ve heard these phrases before. These are what I call the three selves self awareness, self esteem and genuine self. I bet most of you have never really given much thought to what each of them means, but these three phrases are the roots of self-learning and the tools to find peace in any relationship. We’ve been already talking about self awareness and that it means the awareness of your true feelings, dreams, needs, desires. Being able to look at yourself, become aware of the things you need to change your boundaries, your defense mechanisms, things that you need to do differently in order to have a really happy life. We are so going to delve into that much, much deeper in the weeks to come, but for right now we’re going to jump over to the other two selves.

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