Hello and welcome back to a journey to awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

This second season of my podcast is wrapped around something I call the rhythm of our lives. In the first episode I spoke about how our bodies, minds and souls can feel a rhythm to it if we are self aware enough to sense it. Maybe a vibration, maybe a new beat or melody that is trying to guide us to where we are supposed to be. I touched on the thought that sometimes we get stuck in the song of our current life. When everything in your life is begging you to change the radio station! Change that song! Let go! But something has held you back.

SHOWNOTES:

Like a record that keeps skipping. Or a Spotify channel that replays the same song over and over. Your spirit is wanting something so different but it just won’t change! In that moment you know you are craving a totally different vibration but it’s like Groundhog Day, over and over nothing changes.

Here’s the truth. That stuck feeling will eventually affect you in ways that you don’t expect. You start to feel anxious, or unmotivated, or even depressed!  This is what happens when your soul knows it’s time for change and you can’t bring yourself do it.

Today, on the second episode of this season, I wanna delve into one of the most common things that stop us from changing.  Even when your life is screaming for it! Friends are saying, “Come on, do it! Believe in yourself!” One of the biggest things that stop us is fear of failure!

And here is an interesting thing! Fear of failure is fear isn’t just about failing in the future. But it’s also a fear that if you make this change, leave that unhealthy relationship, end a marriage, quit your job, you are actually admitting defeat. So many times people will say to me it was a failed marriage. Uh, no.  It didn’t fail. It ran its course! It wasn’t healthy anymore. You weren’t happy anymore. You lost your genuine self in deference to the marriage.

You are not a failure if you tried everything to make something work.

Ok, the stay or leave a relationship conversation…we’ll that’s a whole other topic for another day.

For today let’s play with some of these judgements that swirl around in your mind when your soul is screaming for change.  “Shauna if I quit my job it must mean that I failed to make it work! I must not be smart enough, or savvy enough, or creative enough. Shauna, if I end this friendship it must mean that I am a horrible friend.  Or this one, This diet sucks and I can’t do it. I failed at it. I’ll never lose weight.”

But listen carefully to this wisdom!

Change is not admitting defeat! Being self-aware enough to realize that something is no longer working for you, no longer making you happy no longer moving you forward in your life, no longer supporting your dreams then it’s time to change!

Here’s a really great quote by John Wooden that puts the word failure into a great perspective.

“Failure is not fatal. But failure to change might be”

Now to  be clear I am not talking about cutting and running in times of challenges. I’m talking about being self aware enough to check in with your, body heart, soul and life’s rhythm. Let’s try a self awareness diagnosis.

Ask yourself.

Is your body trying to tell you something? Are you getting headaches? Are you feeling anxiety or stress. Are you sleeping? Clenching your jaw? Are you having feelings that are overwhelming and don’t seem to go away? This, despite any effort, you might make to manage them? Are you grouchy? Are you overeating to fill a void?

Then check in and ask yourself:

Do you feel fulfilled in your life? Wow, this one is so important. If you’re continually feeling so dissatisfied or restless or unfulfilled in your current situation, it is definitely a sign that something needs to change. So many people are brought up with this false belief that you’re not supposed to be fulfilled. You’re supposed to just get through life, work hard, make money or take care of family and that should be all it takes to be fulfilled. I beg to differ!

So my next podcast is going to be all about what it means to be fulfilled?

Ok back to your self awareness check in.

Here’s one that most people are afraid to look at. Joy.

It’s when activities or interests that normally bring you lots of joy no longer do. You’ve lost your passion or your interest in the current situation. Or your current situation has caused you to lose passion for life. I see this with so many clients! And friends! They’re just going through the motions every day with not very much Joy. And the funny part is that they don’t think that’s odd. For me, I truly believe that passion is what keeps us out of depression. I’m not talking about sexual passion or intimacy. I’m talking about that spark inside of us, that creates joy. In other words,  is your current rhythm and song just boring as hell?

Ok, here is one of the most typical ways people avoid change. They self medicate. They might have those extra drinks a couple of times a week. Or find that they need to smoke weed when they come home at the end of the day. Then, some people actually have a little bit healthier way of self-medicating. ,,lol They kick up their adrenaline and their hormones by becoming workout addicts. Believe me working out is one of the best things that you could do for your moods, but not if that is the only thing that’s keeping you happy.

Oh, here’s a few other ways people go into denial that they are being called to make a change in their life.  Being called to be uncomfortable for just a little while in order to find happiness. They turn all their attention on other people instead of themselves.

They put other people’s needs or the companies needs, or their friend’s or partner’s needs before their own needs. It’s self sacrifice. And wow it’s sure seems like a noble thing to do. Until it’s not. Until you are living everyone else’s song instead of your own.

So think about all the parts in your life and see if you are living in Groundhog Day. Relationship? Work? How you play? Yup… this can get boring, too. Have you wanted to move to another town, city, country? Learn something new? Change up your look? Clothes? Paint your house?

I won’t pretend that change is easy. I won’t pretend that change brings immediate joy. I won’t pretend that there are not lessons that go with it. But I will say that the lessons in your life and the difficulty and unhappiness you will feel if you DON’T change are much worse.

And here is the BEST part! I’m now going to list all of the amazing rewards to making change in your life!

Change, opens doors to new opportunities, new friendships, new possibilities and careers, new hobbies, new personal growth! Some of the best ways to grow as a human is to challenge yourself to step out of comfort zones and grow, learn something new, it gives you resilience, you learn and discover new strengths that you didn’t even know you had. And with THAT wow your confidence boosts to new highs, and that gives you the strength to take on even more challenges, tackle more obstacles which in turn builds more self-confidence, and more belief in yourself! It’s this fabulous trajectory of how one thing builds on the other! And with all of it, you find a new perspective on life. You start to see the world in a totally new way.

My favorite part… Change offers you a new sense of adventure and excitement. Sometimes that adventure and excitement is travel and sometimes that adventure and excitement is a new relationship or a new home or a new city or a new job! All of this gives you a new vitality and an energy for life and guess what your rhythm changes. And your song becomes your own! If you can embrace with an open mind and an open heart, you can create a life that brings you so much, vibrancy and meaning and possibilities!

So go ahead change that Spotify in your soul! Turn up the volume! And sing!

Beautiful listeners, thank you so much for joining me on this podcast today. Please be good to yourselves! Surround yourself with loving beings, take chances in life, drink, lots of water, try new adventures, and most of all be kind and gentle with yourself. Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to checking in again next time.

It seems Again those are interesting ways to avoid that your life is desperately begging for something new. Something that’s going to take you out of the feeling that you’re living in a Groundhog Day

Here are my steps

Fear of Failure: Fear of failing can hold people back from taking risks or making changes in their lives. This fear can prevent them from pursuing new opportunities or making necessary changes.

Lack of Confidence: Low self-esteem or confidence can make it difficult for individuals to believe in themselves and their abilities. This lack of belief can lead to inertia and a sense of being stuck.
 Comfort Zone: People often become accustomed to their routines and comfort zones, making it challenging to step outside of familiar territory. This fear of the unknown can keep them from exploring new paths.

Negative Thought Patterns: Persistent negative thoughts and beliefs can create a mental barrier to progress. These thoughts can be self-limiting and prevent individuals from seeing possibilities beyond their current situation.

Lack of Clarity or Goals: Without clear goals or a sense of direction, it’s easy to feel adrift and stuck. Not knowing what one wants or how to achieve it can create a sense of being trapped in one’s circumstances.

External Circumstances: Sometimes, circumstances beyond our control, such as economic challenges, health issues, or family responsibilities, can make it difficult to move forward or make changes.
Procrastination: Putting off important decisions or actions can lead to a feeling of being stuck in a rut. Procrastination can prevent progress and maintain the status quo.

Unhealthy Relationships: Toxic or unsupportive relationships can drain energy and create a sense of being trapped. Breaking free from these relationships can be challenging but necessary for personal growth.

Lack of Resources: Limited access to resources such as time, money, education, or opportunities can hinder progress and make it challenging to change one’s circumstances.

Past Trauma or Events: Past experiences, especially traumatic ones, can have a lingering impact on a person’s mindset and behavior. Unresolved trauma can hold individuals back from moving forward.

Breaking free from feeling stuck often involves self-reflection, seeking support, setting goals, and taking small steps towards change. Therapy, coaching, self-help techniques, and building a support network can all be valuable.

Ha. For those of us who remember, turntables, or the new generations who  have found this magical treasure from the past. Ok, we were on a Virgin Voyages cruise last month and Richard Branson’s design team put turntables and albums in our cabins! It was fabulous!

Ok I digress.  enough to have one now!  when it’s time to change the radio station! Time to break.