Cruise

Change Up The Radio Station To Your Soul

March 13, 2024 By Shauna

Hello and welcome back to a journey to awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

This second season of my podcast is wrapped around something I call the rhythm of our lives. In the first episode I spoke about how our bodies, minds and souls can feel a rhythm to it if we are self aware enough to sense it. Maybe a vibration, maybe a new beat or melody that is trying to guide us to where we are supposed to be. I touched on the thought that sometimes we get stuck in the song of our current life. When everything in your life is begging you to change the radio station! Change that song! Let go! But something has held you back.

SHOWNOTES:

Like a record that keeps skipping. Or a Spotify channel that replays the same song over and over. Your spirit is wanting something so different but it just won’t change! In that moment you know you are craving a totally different vibration but it’s like Groundhog Day, over and over nothing changes.

Here’s the truth. That stuck feeling will eventually affect you in ways that you don’t expect. You start to feel anxious, or unmotivated, or even depressed! This is what happens when your soul knows it’s time for change and you can’t bring yourself do it.

Today, on the second episode of this season, I wanna delve into one of the most common things that stop us from changing. Even when your life is screaming for it! Friends are saying, “Come on, do it! Believe in yourself!” One of the biggest things that stop us is fear of failure!

And here is an interesting thing! Fear of failure is fear isn’t just about failing in the future. But it’s also a fear that if you make this change, leave that unhealthy relationship, end a marriage, quit your job, you are actually admitting defeat. So many times people will say to me it was a failed marriage. Uh, no. It didn’t fail. It ran its course! It wasn’t healthy anymore. You weren’t happy anymore. You lost your genuine self in deference to the marriage.

You are not a failure if you tried everything to make something work.

Ok, the stay or leave a relationship conversation…we’ll that’s a whole other topic for another day.

For today let’s play with some of these judgements that swirl around in your mind when your soul is screaming for change. “Shauna if I quit my job it must mean that I failed to make it work! I must not be smart enough, or savvy enough, or creative enough. Shauna, if I end this friendship it must mean that I am a horrible friend. Or this one, This diet sucks and I can’t do it. I failed at it. I’ll never lose weight.”

But listen carefully to this wisdom!

Change is not admitting defeat! Being self-aware enough to realize that something is no longer working for you, no longer making you happy no longer moving you forward in your life, no longer supporting your dreams then it’s time to change!

Here’s a really great quote by John Wooden that puts the word failure into a great perspective.

“Failure is not fatal. But failure to change might be”

Now to be clear I am not talking about cutting and running in times of challenges. I’m talking about being self aware enough to check in with your, body heart, soul and life’s rhythm. Let’s try a self awareness diagnosis.

Ask yourself.

Is your body trying to tell you something? Are you getting headaches? Are you feeling anxiety or stress. Are you sleeping? Clenching your jaw? Are you having feelings that are overwhelming and don’t seem to go away? This, despite any effort, you might make to manage them? Are you grouchy? Are you overeating to fill a void?

Then check in and ask yourself:

Do you feel fulfilled in your life? Wow, this one is so important. If you’re continually feeling so dissatisfied or restless or unfulfilled in your current situation, it is definitely a sign that something needs to change. So many people are brought up with this false belief that you’re not supposed to be fulfilled. You’re supposed to just get through life, work hard, make money or take care of family and that should be all it takes to be fulfilled. I beg to differ!

So my next podcast is going to be all about what it means to be fulfilled?

Ok back to your self awareness check in.

Here’s one that most people are afraid to look at. Joy.

It’s when activities or interests that normally bring you lots of joy no longer do. You’ve lost your passion or your interest in the current situation. Or your current situation has caused you to lose passion for life. I see this with so many clients! And friends! They’re just going through the motions every day with not very much Joy. And the funny part is that they don’t think that’s odd. For me, I truly believe that passion is what keeps us out of depression. I’m not talking about sexual passion or intimacy. I’m talking about that spark inside of us, that creates joy. In other words, is your current rhythm and song just boring as hell?

Ok, here is one of the most typical ways people avoid change. They self medicate. They might have those extra drinks a couple of times a week. Or find that they need to smoke weed when they come home at the end of the day. Then, some people actually have a little bit healthier way of self-medicating. ,,lol They kick up their adrenaline and their hormones by becoming workout addicts. Believe me working out is one of the best things that you could do for your moods, but not if that is the only thing that’s keeping you happy.

Oh, here’s a few other ways people go into denial that they are being called to make a change in their life. Being called to be uncomfortable for just a little while in order to find happiness. They turn all their attention on other people instead of themselves.

They put other people’s needs or the companies needs, or their friend’s or partner’s needs before their own needs. It’s self sacrifice. And wow it’s sure seems like a noble thing to do. Until it’s not. Until you are living everyone else’s song instead of your own.

So think about all the parts in your life and see if you are living in Groundhog Day. Relationship? Work? How you play? Yup… this can get boring, too. Have you wanted to move to another town, city, country? Learn something new? Change up your look? Clothes? Paint your house?

I won’t pretend that change is easy. I won’t pretend that change brings immediate joy. I won’t pretend that there are not lessons that go with it. But I will say that the lessons in your life and the difficulty and unhappiness you will feel if you DON’T change are much worse.

And here is the BEST part! I’m now going to list all of the amazing rewards to making change in your life!

Change, opens doors to new opportunities, new friendships, new possibilities and careers, new hobbies, new personal growth! Some of the best ways to grow as a human is to challenge yourself to step out of comfort zones and grow, learn something new, it gives you resilience, you learn and discover new strengths that you didn’t even know you had. And with THAT wow your confidence boosts to new highs, and that gives you the strength to take on even more challenges, tackle more obstacles which in turn builds more self-confidence, and more belief in yourself! It’s this fabulous trajectory of how one thing builds on the other! And with all of it, you find a new perspective on life. You start to see the world in a totally new way.

My favorite part… Change offers you a new sense of adventure and excitement. Sometimes that adventure and excitement is travel and sometimes that adventure and excitement is a new relationship or a new home or a new city or a new job! All of this gives you a new vitality and an energy for life and guess what your rhythm changes. And your song becomes your own! If you can embrace with an open mind and an open heart, you can create a life that brings you so much, vibrancy and meaning and possibilities!

So go ahead change that Spotify in your soul! Turn up the volume! And sing!

Beautiful listeners, thank you so much for joining me on this podcast today. Please be good to yourselves! Surround yourself with loving beings, take chances in life, drink, lots of water, try new adventures, and most of all be kind and gentle with yourself. Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to checking in again next time.

It seems Again those are interesting ways to avoid that your life is desperately begging for something new. Something that’s going to take you out of the feeling that you’re living in a Groundhog Day

Here are my steps

Fear of Failure: Fear of failing can hold people back from taking risks or making changes in their lives. This fear can prevent them from pursuing new opportunities or making necessary changes.

Lack of Confidence: Low self-esteem or confidence can make it difficult for individuals to believe in themselves and their abilities. This lack of belief can lead to inertia and a sense of being stuck.
Comfort Zone: People often become accustomed to their routines and comfort zones, making it challenging to step outside of familiar territory. This fear of the unknown can keep them from exploring new paths.

Negative Thought Patterns: Persistent negative thoughts and beliefs can create a mental barrier to progress. These thoughts can be self-limiting and prevent individuals from seeing possibilities beyond their current situation.

Lack of Clarity or Goals: Without clear goals or a sense of direction, it’s easy to feel adrift and stuck. Not knowing what one wants or how to achieve it can create a sense of being trapped in one’s circumstances.

External Circumstances: Sometimes, circumstances beyond our control, such as economic challenges, health issues, or family responsibilities, can make it difficult to move forward or make changes.
Procrastination: Putting off important decisions or actions can lead to a feeling of being stuck in a rut. Procrastination can prevent progress and maintain the status quo.

Unhealthy Relationships: Toxic or unsupportive relationships can drain energy and create a sense of being trapped. Breaking free from these relationships can be challenging but necessary for personal growth.

Lack of Resources: Limited access to resources such as time, money, education, or opportunities can hinder progress and make it challenging to change one’s circumstances.

Past Trauma or Events: Past experiences, especially traumatic ones, can have a lingering impact on a person’s mindset and behavior. Unresolved trauma can hold individuals back from moving forward.

Breaking free from feeling stuck often involves self-reflection, seeking support, setting goals, and taking small steps towards change. Therapy, coaching, self-help techniques, and building a support network can all be valuable.

Ha. For those of us who remember, turntables, or the new generations who have found this magical treasure from the past. Ok, we were on a Virgin Voyages cruise last month and Richard Branson’s design team put turntables and albums in our cabins! It was fabulous!

Ok I digress. enough to have one now! when it’s time to change the radio station! Time to break.

66 The Healing Power of Blue Water

November 20, 2021 By Shauna

Often my episode ideas are sparked by something going on in my life. Or a conversation I have had with a client. Well as I am heading off on a cruise this week I keep getting pulled back to one topic. The power of water to heal our souls. The ocean! A lake! A river! Rain! Waterfalls! Oh let’s not forget hot springs! Even a calming shower or a meditative soak in a bathtub!

There are so many parts of being by, in or around water that have been scientifically proven to calm our spirits, or heal our souls. Some say that it is the sound of the waves that is so therapeutic. There’s a psychology professor at Southeastern University, William Dorfman, who says that the white noise of waves breaking on the rocks relaxes our brains and stimulates the production of feel-good chemicals in our body, like serotonin and dopamine.

Think about it. Have you ever noticed that so many calming or meditation apps use the sounds of waves to lull you into a calm state? Or the sound of rain! They say that the sound of rain can create the soundest sleep you can have. It’s not white noise. They call it pink noise. It is a natural sedative. A settling sound that blocks out other sounds that keep your mind from quieting down. Listening to the predictable and rhythmic pattern of rain actually lulls you into an alpha state that’s the same state we strive for in meditation. The alpha state is that early early stage of calm and drifting off that we all crave in order to gently fall asleep.

I don’t think there is one human sense that doesn’t react to water. For me it’s looking at it that heals my soul. Some say it is the color blue. Oh and the vast blue green colors of the ocean are like looking at a giant mood ring that is changing constantly. If a cloud goes overhead, or the wind is whipping up the currents, or if a dolphin jumps and glides along changing the hue of blue to green you are also suddenly changed!

I gave my little niece a mood ring for her birthday this week. Remember those? Well on a mood ring chart the color blue represents relaxed, at ease, calm, even lovable. I liked that! Blue green represents your inner emotions, and a more charged but easy state of your mind.

Oh, I loved this interpretation of the color blue from a website called supercolor.com. “The color blue represents both the sky and the sea and is associated with open spaces, freedom, intuition, imagination, inspiration, and sensitivity. Blue also represents meanings of depth, trust, loyalty, sincerity, wisdom, confidence, stability, faith, and intelligence.”

There is a cool website called Bubblewall.com. I love what they say about the aquatic hues.

“We’re naturally drawn to aquatic hues and people associate this color with qualities like calm, openness, depth and wisdom. We are beginning to learn that our brains are hardwired to react positively to water and that being near it can calm and connect us, increase innovation and insight, and even heal what’s broken.”

Ah….the science! Other than just the sound of the ocean, staring at the ocean is another thing that can actually change your brain waves’ frequency. It also puts you into that same alpha, mild meditative state as hearing a wave does.

So it’s no wonder that for thousands of years when people searched for escapes from their everyday lives, vacations or a space to heal… they have been called to spend their time on or near the water.

For me it has been a part of my life since childhood. But everywhere I go and all of the bodies of water I have experienced have affected me differently. I grew up in Chicago 4 blocks from Lake Michigan. Now Lake Michigan never seemed to me a particularly peaceful body of water. It never seemed blue to me. It was more of a grey. It actually seemed like it was so powerful that it always charged my energy. Couple it with the Chicago winds and I found myself contemplating my own power or strength every time I was near it. As a teenager I would walk along the rocks that line the lake and wonder what my life would be like. I think the vastness of it is what brought to me this feeling of mystery. The vastness of the lake and the power of the water hitting the rocks and the wind blowing, always made me contemplate what my own power was and where it came from.

They say that about the ocean, too, that it is a powerful symbol. When I am out on the ocean on a cruise ship or on my sailboat it certainly feels like the water that surrounds me is filled with mystery. When you think of all of the life that lives below the water that we can’t see you can’t help but feel a part of something so much bigger than ourselves. So much bigger than everything we know. You can see that the endless feeling of the sea is captivating. I love the metaphor that what lies below the water has so much beauty, life, power and sometimes darkness just like our own lives. There is so much that lies deep inside our psyche and our souls. So much mystery. So much beauty. Our journey is to find it.

There is something undeniable about the ocean. It is something that we humans can’t control. It opens us to reflection of our lives and our place on the planet. It offers us peace or shakes us for growth. If we allow ourselves to walk along the sandy beaches it is there for us in our moment of need for whatever our spirit craves.

Another body of water that touches me deeply and in a totally different way is a stream or a gently flowing river. Have you ever hiked on a trail and all of a sudden you hear the sounds of a stream? There are all of these great words that describe it… ripples, trickles, babbles. All of a sudden you are called to it! It is almost like there is something familiar about it. Like you know it intimately and now you must stand by its banks and watch it flow. You are called to wonder at its beauty.

I could watch a river flow for days! The way it makes its way around a rock or a piece of wood floating along with it. I love the analogy… that a flowing river feels no lack. If you dig a whole on the river bank the flowing river will fill it up. I say that all of the time when people talk to me about lack. I say if a river finds a spot along its path that is empty it fills it. If you feel something that is lacking in your life. Know that you are a river. If you believe in your power, you too will fill the void and it will be magnificent.

After my beloved Soul Dog Ransom passed away I found myself with a broken heart for months. I wasn’t even aware that was why I had this deep heaviness in me. It was just there. A heavy heart as they say. Ten months after he passed I went on a yoga retreat to Esalen in Big Sur. It is situated on the most magnificent property. On one side you are on a cliff looking out over the pacific ocean. And inland there are paths and flowers and a beauty that leaves me speechless. On one of those paths is a most beautiful river. I went to Esalen with the full intention of doing yoga with like minded souls for three days. And just as a retreat like this is supposed to do, and the magic of Esalen brings…my tears and my sadness finally came to light. I never made it to the rest of the yoga classes. I spent this time reflecting on the vast ocean. Reflecting on life and loss. I could feel my dog by my side as I walked the trails by myself. And then I knew what I needed to do. I needed to say goodbye to him again. I needed to do a ritual to have the closure I never had after he passed so quickly.

So I searched and searched the grounds to see where I would do it. The ocean seemed logical. But then again it seemed too huge, too far away. Too powerful. It was when I came upon the most beautiful flowing river that I knew this was it. It was stronger than a stream, but not rushing or chaotic feeling. It was peace. And so I made my way out onto this beautiful rock that sat in the middle of the river. And I built a tiny memorial of stones to sit on top of it. And then I cried. And I cried some more. And more! Until the sounds of the river babbling and the beauty of the water making its way around rocks and tree trunks and my sitting rock finally brought me peace. And then I smiled! And I picked up the top stone from the little memorial and with so much love I tossed it into the river and imagined it floating away. I said good bye to my precious soul dog knowing we will meet again.

For me being near water is my sanity. When we are not on our sailboat or walking the sandy Santa Barbara beaches, or in the middle of the ocean on a cruise ship my PLACE is my bathtub! And even there I am listening to the calm app with rainwater trickling over the meditation. Water water and more water. When I told my husband I wanted to speak about water he reached into his vast collection of thought provoking books and brought me out this wonderful book called “Blue Mind”. It is written by Wallace Nichols with a foreword by Jacque Cousteau’s granddaughter Celine Cousteau. The cover says “BLUE MIND, The surprising science that shows how being near, in, on or under water can make you happier, healthier, more connected and better at what you do.”

Seriously, who wouldn’t want that?

My bathroom is filled with mermaids. Sometimes I feel like I am one stranded here on land. So I leave you with one of my favorite quotes by Anais Nin. These words truly represent my own journey to awareness.

“I must be a mermaid. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.”!!!!

To all my wonderful listeners. May you find yourself by a body of water contemplating life, love and your own happiness. May you honor your dreams, but most of all may you drink lots of WATER! I am excited to let you know that I will be bringing a small group of women out on the ocean on a beautiful cruise ship on Valentine’s weekend 2022 with another amazing Therapist and Coach, Molly Lyda. We will celebrate life, self love and the healing power of the sea. If you would like to join us, swim on over to workingonme.com and take a look under events for more information.

In the meantime, Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED:

• A Journey to Awareness Podcast: https://www.workingonme.com/podcast
Shauna’s website: https://www.workingonme.com

WHEN DOES IT AIR:
OCTOBER 20, 2021

65 A Writer’s Seafaring Journey To Awareness

October 9, 2021 By Shauna

Hello and Welcome back to a Journey To Awareness, I’m your host Shauna Hoffman.

There are journeys in travel and travel journeys of the soul. And sometimes they coincide. I just got off a cruise with the most lovely group of writers on the Writing Excuses 2021 Retreat. They were mostly SciFi fantasy writers who were there to expand their knowledge, kick start their writing again and meet other like-minded souls.

As I watched them board the ship 8 days ago I could see in their eyes excitement, and nervousness, definite confusion, and mostly this hunger… this hope. I could actually feel the hope more than I could see it. They were there to learn and be inspired by a few of the most egoless instructors I have known. The instructors were established and well-known authors and one was an editor/agent extraordinaire. What the students didn’t know is that their instructors were each on a journey of their own. You see wherever we are and whatever we do we are each on some sort of journey to expand our consciousness, heal our souls and connect with other humans. Maybe it’s one human, or maybe it’s a beautiful classroom filled with a vibrating energy emanating from all these other humans that have chosen to accompany you through the next days of personal growth. And maybe more than personal growth…. maybe even some soul searching enlightenment!

I also saw something that I know to be true. Sometimes with the disconnecting from the people who are normally in our day-to-day lives that makes the space for us to reach out to someone new. A void that allows us to fill it with the unknown.

For many of the students, it was truly an expansion of their comfort zone. They weren’t traveling with anyone they actually knew. Solo travelers on a joint quest to unlock their most hidden talents and dreams… writing. It took an even stronger will and commitment for these writers to show up on a trip where they didn’t have a friend or family member to lean on. For these individuals, their journey to self started the minute they made the decision to come on this trip alone/solo. It was their belief that their dreams deserved to be honored that empowered them to book this event.

This particular trip was quite the adventure for all of us. It was the first travel for many of the group since BC- before Covid. The ship had protocols in place to make everyone stay safe. Our entire group was vaccinated and Covid tested before we could board. Actually, the whole ship was except the children aboard. There wasn’t a question that it took time to shed the fear to stand next to someone, or talk to them without a mask on, to sit in a classroom and just breathe. As the days progressed the obvious care that the ship took to keep everyone safe caused this beautiful thing I call a peeling of the onion. I watched everyone slowly find comfort in their surroundings. I watched them start to enjoy the ship. And with that came the connections to each other. I watched the nerves fade away and the creativity start bursting out from all of them. I watched the seasoned travelers who had taken previous Writing Excuses cruises gently lead their fellow newbies to find comfort in everything from the classes to the ship. They too did it with no egos, just a desire to be there for their fellow writers.

I believe this all could happen because the Group Leaders, the Instructors had given them a safe haven to ask questions, not be perfect, expand their capabilities with no judgment, and more importantly they welcomed them with the most genuine warm smiles every time they met. I witnessed how the instructors left their egos aside to share the wisdom and the passion they had for and about writing. And the beauty was they made it clear that just because they are saying something doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true. I watched as the instructor’s own perceptions about writing grew from their interactions with the students. There is something freeing that comes from remembering that even those teachers around us that we think are bigger or better or more accomplished than we are, are also on their own journey. And it may be that today you teach them something about themselves.

On this cruise, the Writing Excuses Instructors, Dan Wells, Mary Robinette Kowal, Erin Roberts, and DongWong Song made space for each student’s own creativity to be sparked. And they let them all know that they too, were once newbies. And even though this group was made up of students… they were more than that…they were WRITERS!

It’s funny when you are given permission from others to be exactly where you are in life. Permission to not judge yourself but still open your consciousness for growth. In a perfect world, we should all be like this every day without permission from someone else. But we fight these voices in our heads. The ones that tell us we are not good enough. The ones that compare ourselves to others. The ones that squash our own dreams because that critical voice in our heads is louder than the nurturing one. When I talk in my other podcast episodes about being in the present this is exactly where present-based thinking helps most. It is acknowledging where I am today and that it took a helluva lot of living to get here. And I am grateful for every lesson that taught me along the way. And I love myself for surviving them. And today I am grateful for just being here. And today with gratitude and honoring my self I will learn the lessons that today brings me with no judgment. I will embrace today exactly how I woke up! You know that morning innocence where we open our eyes and see the morning light and then remember that it’s a new day.

We are all struggling with that even more in these Covid times. Because there is a weird feeling of Groundhog day. So it is even more important for us to wake up and see that the light is different outside today and my body feels different today and the opportunities I give myself today can be…if I let it… totally different than yesterday!

In one of the discussions, I heard a few of the writers say that they had loved the beginning of lockdown because they had written so much. Then as time went by they just stopped. They didn’t know why. It wasn’t writer’s block it was a lack of motivation. And the choice to come on this cruise was their first step to giving themselves a space to jumpstart their writing again. Well, we all can’t jump on a cruise ship with other like-minded souls and incredibly positive inspiring teachers. But we can make a space for ourselves to quiet our judgemental minds, breathe deeply, listen to our hearts and just start. Start whatever it is that is stirring inside you waiting to be born. And for some who have already started quote-unquote “IT” then it just means to start TODAY. Just start today with the passion and the compassion for yourself to touch that part of you, whether tiny or huge, that is calling out to you.

The journey to self-awareness, as I always say, starts with going inward. Listening to yourself…becoming self-aware. So if the only thing you START with today is your own moments of self-awareness then you are on the most magnificent journey! It may be to something creative or it may be to a moment of self-care that you need. It may be to reach out to someone to talk to or hold hands with or cry with. But it starts with that moment you wake up and realize that it is a new day. If you choose to… you can make today different than yesterday. Today you can write your own story.

After 8 nights the cruise came to an end. The faces that I had seen who were nervous or scared, some of them timid or quiet had changed. I saw smiles! I saw that they felt safe now in the presence of so many like-minded, generous and kind souls. I saw them open up. And I saw them writing! They wrote everywhere on the ship that they could. They had given their dreams life again. Most importantly they had given their strength and hope and creativity more power than their fears. Let me say that again…. they had given their strength and hope and creativity more power than their fears. They were not just inspired. They were home. Not a physical home, after all, they were on a cruise ship. But a most beautiful, peaceful home… within their souls.

Now as I reflect on my own journey on this journey it’s a little different. After over 200 cruises, the cruise for me IS a second home. I figured that I have spent over 3 years of my life aboard a ship. So for me, this trip was a way of coming home after 18 months of lockdown. A way for me to nourish my own soul out on the sea as I watch for sealife jumping or the moon glistening over the ocean. It was my opportunity to invite others to be my guest in my second home and experience all that I love about being out to sea. My way to make sure that they are nourished and feel safe. My way of honoring something that I love so much and sharing it with so many people willing to take that leap of faith and sail with me. And the outcome for me? My own jumpstart to creativity as I record another podcast to share with all of you.

You see just like Dorothy says in the Wizard of Oz…there’s no place like home.

My hope for all of my listeners is that today you just make it today. That you check-in and listen to your mind, body, and soul and you honor all that you hear it say. My hope is that you surround yourself with loving beings who believe in you and your dreams. May you eat nourishing foods and drink lots of water! May you rest if you need to or dance if your soul is dancing! May you be gentle and kind to others, but most importantly to yourself.

Thank you for letting me into your lives this episode and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

LEARN MORE ABOUT THE CONTENT DISCUSSED:

• A Journey to Awareness Podcast: https://www.workingonme.com/podcast
Shauna’s website: https://www.workingonme.com

WHEN DOES IT AIR :
OCTOBER 09, 2021

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