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Expect The Unexpected

May 1, 2024 By Shauna

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

Are you ready for the unexpected? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Many of you know this, and some of you don’t know. I own another business called Whodunit. It started as a mystery theater company turned into a mystery cruise company, turned into a giant event cruising business. I have been lucky enough to cruise over 200 times in my life, all over the world. And our Whodunit motto is, “expect the unexpected”! So I thought, what a perfectly fun motto and life hack I have been living for the last 40 years to talk about today.

To expect the unexpected can be anything! The unexpected could be some amazing gift that you receive, or a relationship you never expected to have, or you win the lottery! Or the unexpected could be a glitch in your life, or something went wrong in your day. The unexpected can either be looked at as a good thing or a challenge. Well, I want to kind of look at it today just as the unexpected. Neither good nor bad!

OK, this motto goes right along with living in the present. It means that you stay exactly where you are and expect that you never know what’s gonna happen next. I guess it could also be, expect nothing and see what comes. Or, expect that you will be able to handle whatever comes. Good, bad, challenging, fun, crazy, miraculous.

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

So how do you take the next step and stay flexible? First you breathe. Then you assess. Then you have to gather all of your mind skills and awareness of the situation to look forward, not back, to change or adjust your plan. Even the best, unexpected events still need us to adjust our day or our thoughts or our emotions or our future.

There is a skill, or perception or attitude that I try to embrace in these moments. It’s maintaining a positive attitude. If I can do this even in the worst circumstances I can remember that I am a resilient person. I always get back up.

This is not so easy for everyone.

OK, this is going out to my listeners who may have depression or anxiety or be Type A personality, who feel more comfortable when they can control a situation. Embracing expect the unexpected will be most difficult for you. Anxiety comes from the inability to control the situation in your mind. And in order to stay open enough to expect the unexpected and be resilient you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything in your life. And for so many of you, this is the biggest challenge. The hardest part for this kind of personality is keeping a positive mindset. And how the heck do you do that if a new situation is making you feel fearful or nervous or anxious?

The first thing you have to do is let go of the idea and expectations that you had of the situation in the first place That situation has changed or it can change at a drop of the hat and there is no going back. While you’re in the situation and trying to manage it, you can’t start playing over all the things you did wrong. Instead you face forward and you open your mind to use all of that creativity and insight we talked about. Stay in the moment you are in and figure out how to take just one step. One step towards handling the situation.

Now here is a whole ‘nother way to think about expecting the unexpected. I always thought my husband worried too much about some thing that was going to happen while we made plans. His answer to me was, a “I’m not worrying. I am preparing for anything that could happen in this situation.” Well that made a lot of sense and I understood that his emotions weren’t wrapped up in preparing for it. He really wasn’t worrying. He was just preparing. So check yourself and see if you’re worried about something that is coming up in your life? Or are you preparing for it? And then be ready to throw everything out the window. Because if you have prepared for it, then it is not unexpected! And this whole episode is expect the unexpected!

Obviously, there are going to be times when the unexpected is something really difficult or heartbreaking, a loss of someone or something profound. Those are probably some of the most unexpected things that happen in our life. So for those situations keeping a positive mindset is very difficult. And I wouldn’t expect it of you. But the tools that you have in that situation are the ones that will help you get through. First you get support from everyone in your life that can be there for you. Next you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being as you try to navigate this unexpected event. Being adaptable! Realizing that as a human, you really are adaptable even when you feel like you cannot move. Remembering that you have the power and eventually the strength to move forward with the support of your friends and family or professionals and do it with self-care. Eventually, you will have a change in perspective. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual book of psychology and it says that a miracle is a change in perception. You might not have that as you are in the situation but eventually your peace will come from a change in perspective and perception around the unexpected that happened in your life. In times like this, because I study the course, I just sit down and close my eyes and ask for a miracle. I am asking for a change in perception. One that will bring me just a little bit of peace.

OK now let’s have some fun and talk about the mindset behind expecting the unexpected and being ready for wonderful, amazing, miraculous, fun, wildly entertaining things to show up in your life. Things that you never expected. This is the mentality that people have when we say that they look at life with their glass half full instead of glass half empty. Admittedly, I am one of those people. I am always waiting for the miraculous to show up in my life each day. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself what is today going to bring me? I know what I have planned for the day, but the universe works in mysterious ways and my motto is expect the unexpected. So what is the unexpected gonna bring me today? Try it right now! You know what the rest of your day is supposed to be. Now say to yourself, “I expect the unexpected! I can’t wait to see what today will bring me!!”

Our minds are programmed! And believe me when I say that you can reprogram them! You can reprogram yourself to think positively instead of negatively. You can ask yourself how thinking negatively is helping you in your life and instead you can say, I choose another way. And then start practicing, practicing, practicing every day to look at the world with your glass half full. Then wait for that thing that is going to fill it all the way up!

My mom was a holocaust survivor. She was in Auschwitz from the age of 11 to 13, after her family was all killed. Yet my mom was one of the most joyous and positive people I have ever known. I used to say, “Mom you wear rose colored glasses”. And her answer to me was, “I know, I put them on.” Wow,v that said it all! She could’ve looked at her life as a glass half empty. Instead, she not only looked at it as half full, she looked at it as overflowing.

And thankfully, that is what she taught me!

I think for my mom it came from one word. Gratitude. She had so much gratitude for her life and that she survived, that it kept her looking forward in her life instead of looking back. It kept her staying in the moment instead of living in the past. And it kept her appreciating everything in her life instead of seeing what she no longer had.

To expect the unexpected means that you look for the silver lining in everything that happens in your life. It is also looking towards each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you.

Wow! Let me say that again! It is looking at each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you! I love the words, I deserve!

Right now, I want you to say this to yourself, I deserve wonderful things in my life.

I deserve magical things to happen to me today.

I deserve happiness, joy, fun, and miracles!

Then, after you turn off this podcast today, I want you to write a full page of everything that you deserve in life! And remember, you may not believe it yet, but this will be the beginning of reprogramming your mind and putting on your rose colored glasses!

I love this quote by Rhonda Byrne
There is a truth, deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this… you deserve all good things life has to offer.

So today if you are going to expect the unexpected, I hope you expect all good things that life has to offer.

My beautiful listeners, please be good to yourself, drink, lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings, get lots of rest, go out and have fun, and expect the unexpected!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: Auschwitz, Awareness, Course In Miracles, Creativity, Depression, Expectations, fun, Future, Gratitude, Happiness, Holocaust, Joy, Mind, Mindset, Miracles, Moments, Peace, Perspective, Rose-Colored Glasses, Survivor, Truth, Type A, Unexpected

The Magic Of Walking In The Rain

April 3, 2024 By Shauna

Why do we have so many rules that take away so much of the fun in life? I’m not talking about doing dangerous things. I’m talking about doing something so simple as walking in the rain and how just doing that becomes an adventure that gives you a feeling of freedom that you never expected. I realized that walking in the rain represented so much of the same things for so many people. So many reasons why we can’t do something. So many limitations we put on ourselves.

When we do something so out of the box, so unexpected and against all social norms, believe it or not, our creativity is unlocked. I mean that’s what creativity is. Thinking outside the box creating with no boundaries and no holds barred. Creating as if you are walking in the rain.

SHOWNOTES:

Hello, and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Oh this is gonna be a fun episode.

Last night my husband and I were talking about the fact that we want to go take the dogs for a walk today. We have three collies that need lots of exercise. But when I looked at the weather, it said it was going to rain. My husband turned to me and said, “Why don’t we take a walk in the rain!?” I paused and I looked at him, definitely perplexed, and then all the sudden I got so excited! I felt like a child again. Then I remembered some of the most fun days of my life were walking in the rain.

I mean, I know it’s crazy that every time we think about it our first instincts are, absolutely not. It’s raining out you can’t go outside. Or if you’re gonna go outside, you have to run to your car then run into the next building. You have to have umbrellas and raincoats, God knows you can’t get wet.

And then when I remember the times that I did walk and play in the rain I remember the feeling of total rebellion. It’s so funny I felt completely like a rebellious kid whose mom was saying, “you can’t go out and play in the rain! You’re going to get sopping wet! You’re going to catch a cold! You’re going to drag in all the mud! No, you cannot go.”

Then I remembered when my daughter dressed the kids up in their rain, boots and rain jackets and took them outside and just let them play in puddles and mud and feel the rain on their face. And they had the time of their lives! The free spirit of a child. And it made me wonder why when we become adults don’t we walk, sing, dance or play in the rain?

Why do we have so many rules that take away so much of the fun in life? I’m not talking about doing dangerous things. I’m talking about doing something so simple as walking in the rain and how just doing that becomes an adventure that gives you a feeling of freedom that you never expected. I realized that walking in the rain represented so much of the same things for so many people. So many reasons why we can’t do something. So many limitations we put on ourselves.

When we do something so out of the box, so unexpected and against all social norms, believe it or not, our creativity is unlocked. I mean that’s what creativity is. Thinking outside the box creating with no boundaries and no holds barred. Creating as if you are walking in the rain.

Oh, and with creativity comes romance. It is so romantic to walk in the rain with someone you love. Or just thinking about someone you love. I mean, you can’t help but smile when you think of the scene from singing in the rain where Gene Kelly is dancing in the middle of the street madly in love.

Do you remember the Neil Sedaka song “laughter in the rain”? Oh, I hear laughter and rain walking hand-in-hand with the one I love. Oh how I love the rainy days and the happy way I feel inside.

You smell things you never smelled before. The reflections of the water on the leaves, and on the ground have this magical beauty to them. And the feeling of rain on your face is a sensation so different than what you are used to, that you can’t help but smile.

But you don’t have to be with another human to feel romance. One of the definitions of romance is a quality or feeling of mystery, excitement and being remote from every day life. It’s the beauty and the romance inside you. Imagine your own romantic escapade.

Here is another adventure. Try running around in the rain with a bunch of friends! You have no idea how much laughter and lightheartedness it brings. I was on one of the islands with four of my friends late at night, and we were walking back to the ship, and it started pouring raining. It took us totally by surprise. And it was a blast! We were laughing and dancing in the middle of a Caribbean Road. We had so much fun!

Another time, my husband and I were in Venice, the city of canals and water. We got caught in a rainstorm and got so lost on the curvy roads of Venice that all we could do was realize this was totally out of our control so we may as well enjoy it! And we laughed and walked the streets of Venice, popping in for a coffee then out again onto the rainy cobblestone streets. Rain, snow, any weather is just a reminder that sometimes we need to just let go of control and let life happen.

I found this quote and forgive me, whoever said it, because I couldn’t find the author.

Walking in the rain is a reminder that sometimes the best things in life are the simplest.

Here is another one, author unknown.

Rainy walks, are a chance to find beauty in the midst of chaos, to see the world with fresh eyes.

There is such spontaneity that comes with walking in the rain. You don’t know when it’s gonna stop. You don’t know when it’s gonna get stronger. And you don’t know when you’re going to see a rainbow. For me walking in the rain is one of the most magical things we can do.

Oh, The freshness that rain brings. Whether it’s a hot day in the Caribbean or a cool walk in the mountains, it brings a refreshing feeling to the air. And it’s so invigorating to breathe in the crisp, clean scent of rain-soaked earth and see the glisten on the trees plants.

Did you know that there is an actual scientific reason why walking in the rain is so peaceful? It’s something called the petrichor effect. Petrichor happens when rainwater releases micro organisms hidden in the earth and they mix with the smell of plant oils and the ozone. And it all gets released into the air.

Scientists believe it’s one of the most calming and mood boosting properties. They also think it could be because it stems from a cultural imprint that goes all the way back to our ancestors who would’ve found food and water more plentiful in times of rain than in times of drought. That’s why we always love the smell of the outdoors right after a rain.

I love this quote about the Petrichor effect

It’s when raindrops kiss the arid land, and the magic happens. It smells like a secret.

This wonderful woman named Susie Nightingale is the one who said that. It smells like a secret. I love that so much! I also kind of love her her name, Susie Nightingale.

Ha! Bob Marley says, “Some people feel the rain, others just get wet.”
So let me just throw out a few reasons for you to walk in the rain the next time your weather app says rain is in the forecast.

Serenity: The sound of rain hitting the ground, leaves, or the top of your head can create a soothing and calming environment. It helps clear the mind and reduce all your stress… if you let it. Why do you think they use raindrops on so many calming apps?

A connection with Nature: Rainfall is such a vital part of nature, and growth. Walking in the rain can help you feel more connected to the environment. But what I love most is that it’s a reminder of the cycles of nature and the importance of water.

And did you know that sometimes it rains cats and dogs? I mean, if that isn’t a great reason to be walking in the rain I don’t know any other!

Solitude: Rainy weather often keeps others indoors, which means you might have the streets or parks to yourself. These moments when you’re alone are the times that you can feel the deepest, without anyone seeing you.

Charlie Chaplin said, “I always like walking in the rain so no one can see me crying.”

I take that to mean there is beauty when you can find comfort and privacy during the most vulnerable times. And there’s no better way to do it than walking in the rain Go ahead. Do it! I dare you. See if you can get a sense of peaceful solitude and privacy.

We talked about the adventure of it. But I wanna add that one of the reasons it gives you a sense of adventure is because of this feeling of braving the elements. We feel it every time we sail our sailboat. And what a wonderful simple way to do it right outside your front door?

OK I have a confession. This entire weekend it’s supposed to rain so as my husband and I talked about walking in the rain I woke up this morning and thought I really wanna get crazy. So I threw off all my clothes, ran out into my backyard and danced in the rain, totally nude. My dogs were running all around me, and I surely hope my neighbors didn’t see it because they would either think I was crazy or who knows, maybe they thought I’m one of the happiest people in the world. I wanted to really test all of what I was talking about here. And it was magical!

Oh…now let’s talk about the moodiness of a rainy day and how it can inspire introspection and reflection. It’s a great time to think deeply, sort out thoughts, or come up with new ideas.

Creativity!

Have you ever really looked at photography that was done out in the rain? Try it yourself! Grab your phone, go outside in the rain and take pictures! Rain can create stunning photo ops. Think about the reflections in puddles, raindrops on leaves, and the diffused light creating such a unique atmosphere. And if your lucky you will catch a rainbow!

We have all heard about Native Americans performing a rain dance. They would summon the spirits of the gods to cleanse the earth with rain. But in the Native American culture the rain dance was also a symbol of forgiveness. Think about that for a minute, how we can let the rain wash away our past, our hurts, our anger, our betrayals from others and to others. What if you could walk in the rain and forgive yourself and forgive others?

Who knew that walking in the rain could offer us so much self-awareness? For me, I think the one most important lessons this morning when I ran around in the rain was remembering how to enjoy the Simple Things in life. It was a reminder I don’t have to play by anyone else’s rules.

So, I hope that soon you’ll have an opportunity to go play in the rain! I hope you let go of everybody else’s rules, go outside and let the raindrops keep falling on your head. And I hope it sparks a new journey to awareness.

And most of all, may there be a rainbow at the end of your journey.

So my beautiful listeners, thank you for letting me into your life this week, and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

Filed Under: Podcast Tagged With: beauty, Boundaries, childlike, Create, Forgiveness, Freedom, fun, Magic, rain, romantic, simplicity

A Journey to Awareness Podcast

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Shauna Hoffman, MA, MFT is available for individual, marriage and family therapy sessions. For an appointments please call (661) 714-5137 or email Shauna@workingonme.com

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Shauna Hoffman is a renowned speaker, trainer and co-founder of Dynamic Women Speakers. Her media kit is available on her speaker website http://shaunahoffman.com

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Shauna Hoffman is a Marriage Family Therapist and Speaker in private Practice in Santa Clarita, CA. She gives workshops and seminars in Newhall, Valencia and all of Southern CA.

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