Happiness

Stop Screwing Up Your Life

May 15, 2024 By Shauna

Today we are back on the idea that when we are willing, we can change up the Rhythm Of Our Lives. We have talked about looking at yourself and deciding something has to change. Well, for the next few podcasts we are going to talk about the pieces of our psyche, our thinking and our habits that stop us from doing that. Today is a big one. It’s what I talk about in my book as the rebellious child/free child. When that side of us is healthy it is incredibly creative. It’s the side of our personality that thinks outside the box, rocks the boat for change. It’s the artist, it’s the creator. It’s the side of us that loves to play and have fun! We so need this side of us. It’s also called the creative child. But there is a challenge, when it goes overboard it’s the side of us that can totally screw up our lives.

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we are back on the idea that when we are willing, we can change up the Rhythm Of Our Lives. We have talked about looking at yourself and deciding something has to change. Well, for the next few podcasts we are going to talk about the pieces of our psyche, our thinking and our habits that stop us from doing that. Today is a big one. It’s what I talk about in my book as the rebellious child/free child. When that side of us is healthy it is incredibly creative. It’s the side of our personality that thinks outside the box, rocks the boat for change. It’s the artist, it’s the creator. It’s the side of us that loves to play and have fun! We so need this side of us. It’s also called the creative child. But there is a challenge, when it goes overboard it’s the side of us that can totally screw up our lives. I mean really. It’s the side of us that goes overboard.

Rebellious spirits lives a life of action with no fear of consequences.

As you can imagine as an artist or anyone who’s trying to create something, you have to think outside the box. You can’t put boundaries on your thinking, creations or your dreams. A matter of fact, for those of us who don’t live in that state, the word can’t or the fear of what others think is what stops us from being creative. Creativity is thinking outside of the known to create the unknown. It’s an exciting, exhilarating and adventurous endeavor.

It’s taking actions with no fear of consequences!

It’s also the side of us that makes us fun-loving, carefree. Think of some of the creative people you know and reflect on how much fun they are to be around! The rebellious/free child taps into a side of the human spirit that almost screams exciting energy. And they don’t care about what other people think. Rebellious child, creative child, free child.

Another wonderful side of rebellious/free creative spirits is the ability to be spontaneous and not stick to expected behaviors, routines or the ideas of others. It’s truly living expect the unexpected! My last podcast episode. If it’s raining outside, they come up with something else to do. They see unplanned opportunities as a way to go beyond obstacles. They throw out all the rules and create new experiences! And there again is the word… create.

Now here is how rebellious/free child spirits screw up their lives. It’s when the wild side of them goes overboard! I always say this is very much the teenager times in our lives. That’s why we call teenagers rebellious. Because they’re trying to break out of the norm and figure out who they are, and create their own rules for life. This state is what we call the Me state. What do I want to do? Where do I wanna go? So when the rebellious child state goes overboard it’s all about “what I want for myself” with little or no thought about the other person.

So how does it screw up your life? When you live your life with very few boundaries and in the Me state, it becomes way too easy to overindulge in just about anything. Drink too much. Hang out with your fun friends and do drugs. It’s the state where people have affairs, because again its action with no fear of the consequences. They’re not looking at the consequences of drinking too much on their health, on their life, on their marriage, on their parenting, on how it’s affecting their job. If they’re having affairs it’s because they’re looking for that fun, that high that they think they are not getting in their marriage. And they’re not looking at the consequences of how it’s gonna hurt someone else or destroy their relationship.They slip into the me state and escape.

We see this with so many of the most brilliant artists, musicians actors, writers, producers directors. They are extremely creative, and this side of them has helped get them to where they are in life. But it’s the negative side of the rebellious child that takes many of them down.

There is a huge danger in your life if you are nurturing an unhealthy rebellious child spirit. Combine this with another side of this state, wild spontaneity and chances are they jump into total denial. They have to deny the possibility that there is a negative outcome to what they’re doing. They deny that it’s harmful or hurtful and they let go of all of their boundaries… and boundaries are what keeps you safe.

Here is another dangerous side of when the rebellious/free child goes overboard. There’s very little guilt involved. So the rebellious child spirit can create a scenario that makes it OK for what they’re doing and they have no guilt of how it’s affecting anyone else. Guilt would mean they would have to change something. And when a rebellious child spirit goes overboard that’s the last thing they want to do. Change.

Now let’s talk about the free spirited side of rebellious Child/free child. It’s when the free spirited person becomes two free spirited. It sounds harmless, right? We love free spirited people. I love to see someone who dresses just the way they want to dress without caring what others think. It’s OK to be different. All of that is the healthy side of a free spirited rebellious child spirit. But when the free spirit goes overboard, they lose perspective on what is safe for them and around them. Like a woman who skips the beach alone, not even noticing that a man is following her. Or someone who puts their child in danger because they wanna break all the rules. This is when free spirited becomes reckless and logic goes out the window in favor of the adventure or rule breaking thinking of the rebellious/ free child state.

There’s a beautiful side of this kind of spirit and that is that they speak up for themselves. That’s what we practice as teenagers that gets us into trouble. But when it becomes overboard, then there is a chance that they become over emotional. That free spirited person who is so overboard that they want everyone to hear their voice! You’ve been around those kind of people where drama is the name of their game.

Emotional, rebellious, free spirited people, creative people, are more in touch with their emotional side. When it goes overboard it’s when the emotion gains control of them over the logic of a situation. Their emotion turns from you or us or the situation to me, me me.

So how do you know if this is you? The first question to ask yourself is is there a side of you that goes overboard that is affecting your life? Are you drinking too much? Are you doing too many drugs? Are you blowing off work? Are you having an affair outside of your relationship? Are you doing other dangerous things like driving too fast or over eating or eating tons of junk food. Here is a big one! Spending money with no fear of the consequences of overspending! Do your emotions get out of control?

Take a look at yourself honestly, with no denial, and ask yourself where is your rebellious free child going overboard? And then ask yourself how is it screwing up your life?

I always say that the first way to change is to make the subconscious conscious. Once you do that you can look at what you need to change in order to change the rhythm of your life. A bigger piece of this is to ask yourself, is there a creative side of you that you are not tapping into? Is there a fun loving spirit in you that is desperately needing attention? Are you working so hard that you’re rebelling in other ways? Are you an artist or a musician or a writer who has let that side of you go in in order to live a less creative life? Are you so rigid in so many other things in your life that the only way you can break free is going overboard with something unhealthy?

We all desperately need this side of us. But we need it healthy. Without a creative outlet, fun, spontaneity, playfulness, our subconscious is going to find quick and easy ways to experience it. And I can almost guarantee you that one way or another you will pay with the consequences that you’re not looking at.

So if you wanna stop screwing up your life, you actually have to look at your life. No more denial. No more closing off your adult thinking in order to get away with old behaviors. Get in touch with the wonderful and healthy and fun side of creative child. And if you don’t have a creative child, find it.

It might be something more subtle than you know. It might be creating a beautiful garden. It might be changing all of the colors in your home. It might be writing your memoirs or starting a screenplay or, getting out and doing more fun things with your life! Trying something new, going someplace new, and if you need to start very very small, then do so. And most importantly, if you need to look deeply at behavior that you know is screwing up your life, then put on your he, she, or they pants and do so.

In order to change the rhythm of our lives to find happiness and passion then we have to become self-aware and look at the things that are holding us back. Not with judgment, but with hope. Hope that you love yourself enough to make the changes to start you back on a path to your wonderful life.

Here is a perfect quote by Nayyirah Waheed,

There is no healthier drug than creativity!

Albert Einstein said,

Creativity is intelligence having fun!

This season of the podcast is about changing up the rhythms of our lives. But we have to look at what is stopping the music in our souls. So if you can take just a little time to look deep within… I believe you will find the answer. Remember no judgement, just hope.

Oh beautiful listeners, please take care of yourselves this week. Drink lots of water, get lots of rest and have lots of fun! Surround yourself with loving beings and most importantly, love yourself!

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

Expect The Unexpected

May 1, 2024 By Shauna

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

Are you ready for the unexpected? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Many of you know this, and some of you don’t know. I own another business called Whodunit. It started as a mystery theater company turned into a mystery cruise company, turned into a giant event cruising business. I have been lucky enough to cruise over 200 times in my life, all over the world. And our Whodunit motto is, “expect the unexpected”! So I thought, what a perfectly fun motto and life hack I have been living for the last 40 years to talk about today.

To expect the unexpected can be anything! The unexpected could be some amazing gift that you receive, or a relationship you never expected to have, or you win the lottery! Or the unexpected could be a glitch in your life, or something went wrong in your day. The unexpected can either be looked at as a good thing or a challenge. Well, I want to kind of look at it today just as the unexpected. Neither good nor bad!

OK, this motto goes right along with living in the present. It means that you stay exactly where you are and expect that you never know what’s gonna happen next. I guess it could also be, expect nothing and see what comes. Or, expect that you will be able to handle whatever comes. Good, bad, challenging, fun, crazy, miraculous.

So how do you take the next step and stay flexible? First you breathe. Then you assess. Then you have to gather all of your mind skills and awareness of the situation to look forward, not back, to change or adjust your plan. Even the best, unexpected events still need us to adjust our day or our thoughts or our emotions or our future.

There is a skill, or perception or attitude that I try to embrace in these moments. It’s maintaining a positive attitude. If I can do this even in the worst circumstances I can remember that I am a resilient person. I always get back up.

This is not so easy for everyone.

OK, this is going out to my listeners who may have depression or anxiety or be Type A personality, who feel more comfortable when they can control a situation. Embracing expect the unexpected will be most difficult for you. Anxiety comes from the inability to control the situation in your mind. And in order to stay open enough to expect the unexpected and be resilient you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything in your life. And for so many of you, this is the biggest challenge. The hardest part for this kind of personality is keeping a positive mindset. And how the heck do you do that if a new situation is making you feel fearful or nervous or anxious?

The first thing you have to do is let go of the idea and expectations that you had of the situation in the first place That situation has changed or it can change at a drop of the hat and there is no going back. While you’re in the situation and trying to manage it, you can’t start playing over all the things you did wrong. Instead you face forward and you open your mind to use all of that creativity and insight we talked about. Stay in the moment you are in and figure out how to take just one step. One step towards handling the situation.

Now here is a whole ‘nother way to think about expecting the unexpected. I always thought my husband worried too much about some thing that was going to happen while we made plans. His answer to me was, a “I’m not worrying. I am preparing for anything that could happen in this situation.” Well that made a lot of sense and I understood that his emotions weren’t wrapped up in preparing for it. He really wasn’t worrying. He was just preparing. So check yourself and see if you’re worried about something that is coming up in your life? Or are you preparing for it? And then be ready to throw everything out the window. Because if you have prepared for it, then it is not unexpected! And this whole episode is expect the unexpected!

Obviously, there are going to be times when the unexpected is something really difficult or heartbreaking, a loss of someone or something profound. Those are probably some of the most unexpected things that happen in our life. So for those situations keeping a positive mindset is very difficult. And I wouldn’t expect it of you. But the tools that you have in that situation are the ones that will help you get through. First you get support from everyone in your life that can be there for you. Next you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being as you try to navigate this unexpected event. Being adaptable! Realizing that as a human, you really are adaptable even when you feel like you cannot move. Remembering that you have the power and eventually the strength to move forward with the support of your friends and family or professionals and do it with self-care. Eventually, you will have a change in perspective. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual book of psychology and it says that a miracle is a change in perception. You might not have that as you are in the situation but eventually your peace will come from a change in perspective and perception around the unexpected that happened in your life. In times like this, because I study the course, I just sit down and close my eyes and ask for a miracle. I am asking for a change in perception. One that will bring me just a little bit of peace.

OK now let’s have some fun and talk about the mindset behind expecting the unexpected and being ready for wonderful, amazing, miraculous, fun, wildly entertaining things to show up in your life. Things that you never expected. This is the mentality that people have when we say that they look at life with their glass half full instead of glass half empty. Admittedly, I am one of those people. I am always waiting for the miraculous to show up in my life each day. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself what is today going to bring me? I know what I have planned for the day, but the universe works in mysterious ways and my motto is expect the unexpected. So what is the unexpected gonna bring me today? Try it right now! You know what the rest of your day is supposed to be. Now say to yourself, “I expect the unexpected! I can’t wait to see what today will bring me!!”

Our minds are programmed! And believe me when I say that you can reprogram them! You can reprogram yourself to think positively instead of negatively. You can ask yourself how thinking negatively is helping you in your life and instead you can say, I choose another way. And then start practicing, practicing, practicing every day to look at the world with your glass half full. Then wait for that thing that is going to fill it all the way up!

My mom was a holocaust survivor. She was in Auschwitz from the age of 11 to 13, after her family was all killed. Yet my mom was one of the most joyous and positive people I have ever known. I used to say, “Mom you wear rose colored glasses”. And her answer to me was, “I know, I put them on.” Wow,v that said it all! She could’ve looked at her life as a glass half empty. Instead, she not only looked at it as half full, she looked at it as overflowing.

And thankfully, that is what she taught me!

I think for my mom it came from one word. Gratitude. She had so much gratitude for her life and that she survived, that it kept her looking forward in her life instead of looking back. It kept her staying in the moment instead of living in the past. And it kept her appreciating everything in her life instead of seeing what she no longer had.

To expect the unexpected means that you look for the silver lining in everything that happens in your life. It is also looking towards each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you.

Wow! Let me say that again! It is looking at each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you! I love the words, I deserve!

Right now, I want you to say this to yourself, I deserve wonderful things in my life.

I deserve magical things to happen to me today.

I deserve happiness, joy, fun, and miracles!

Then, after you turn off this podcast today, I want you to write a full page of everything that you deserve in life! And remember, you may not believe it yet, but this will be the beginning of reprogramming your mind and putting on your rose colored glasses!

I love this quote by Rhonda Byrne
There is a truth, deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this… you deserve all good things life has to offer.

So today if you are going to expect the unexpected, I hope you expect all good things that life has to offer.

My beautiful listeners, please be good to yourself, drink, lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings, get lots of rest, go out and have fun, and expect the unexpected!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time

Heartstrings and Happiness – The Art Of Giving Back

April 24, 2024 By Shauna

Whenever I have a client who is sad or unhappy or lonely, or still hasn’t found a purpose that brings them joy, or they are new in a town or city and haven’t met new people, and they come to me for help, the first thing I suggest is to find a place to volunteer. I know my clients who are listening to this have heard it from me so many times.

This holds especially true for people who suffer from depression. Why? When you volunteer it is an opportunity, a moment, or afternoon or week to not think about yourself! It gives you just a little time to try and help “a cause”. And by doing that it shifts your focus and perspective to such a huge degree that inevitably it starts to help you feel better. When you are in depression or feel lonely, you tend to circle back to negative thoughts and emotions about yourself And your life. But giving back can change that!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I am Shauna Hoffman. Today is going to be a short episode because I have spent the last week volunteering for the dog rescue that I work with. So I thought rather than not doing one at all, I would do one and wrap it around what an amazing experience it has been for me volunteering this week.

And there is biology behind this! When a person is generous or altruistic, it creates a response in the brain that taps into positive emotions. Doctors believe that the brain produces and then releases neurotransmitters and hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. All chemicals that help us feel pleasure and happiness.

People think I’m crazy because even though I have three careers, I still volunteer. I am Vice President of Southland Collie Rescue in California. Saving Lassies. Saving animals is a huge passion for me that has personally changed my life, my perspective on the world, and on humanity. It has brought me a circle of friends that I adore and feel are just like me. Without a doubt, some of my closest friends have come from the work that I do in animal rescue.

It seems that no matter how exhausted I am, if I get a text or an email, or a private message about a dog that needs my help I can’t help but find the time to help rescue that collie.

Maybe it’s helping something that is so helpless themself. Maybe it’s my absolute passion with dogs and the joy they bring to our world. Maybe it’s that it gives me a break from my normal routine and business goals and is such a difference from helping humans that it draws me in. But one thing I know for sure, it absolutely takes me away from all of my own issues or challenges, exhaustion from work, worries, stress that I’m dealing with and let’s me focus on something so pure and egoless as a dog. And somehow, miraculously, it actually jumpstarts me and gives me back tenfold the energy I’m putting out. When I see a dog’s life saved, the joy I feel is overwhelming.

Animal rescue is only one way of giving back to humanity and the world. Volunteering and finding what moves your heart and soul is different for everyone. It could be something saving the planet that grabs your heart. It could be working with the elderly or foster children, or even a youth basketball team, or community project. it could be volunteering for your church or temple, it could be making food for the homeless. It could be getting kids out on a golf course and teaching them how to golf.

And it doesn’t have to be something so altruistic that it may change the world. When we take our dogs on Sunday mornings to walk in our town, we always come across this couple who are walking the pathways with one of those grabber tools and a bag picking up trash. Nobody has asked them to do it. They’re not getting any accolades for doing it. They’re doing it because it makes them feel good. I have a group of friends who are accomplished sci-fi writers. They have started podcasting and sharing all of their knowledge of writing for free, Hundreds of podcasts teaching writers how to accomplish their dreams.

Giving back to people, or your community or our world doesn’t need to be with an organization. It can be you buying a bouquet of flowers and giving it to a stranger, or your elderly neighbor, or a police officer or mailman you see. It is a selfless act of giving.

For a long time, before I had time to volunteer someplace, I would fill bags that I had gotten at a convention with all kinds of stuff a homeless person may need. I kept it in my trunk and if I saw someone I would stop and give it to them. Often they never said a word and just took it. That was fine! I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it for them. Not everyone has time to volunteer. But everyone, no matter who you are or where you are can give back. Even if it just trying to make someone smile today.

Another thing I love to do during Girl Scout cookie season, when they are selling outside a store, is to buy a box and tell the Girl Scout to give it to the next person they see that looks like they need to smile. I love to watch them search someone’s face to see who needs a smile. I got back! The Girl Scout got back and the person who got the cookies got back!

The idea of volunteering means you are not getting paid. You are choosing to be someplace and offer your energy with no expectations of anything personally in return.

But you do get so much in return. Like Connection, Community. Volunteering allows you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for making a difference. It’s one of the best ways to meet people that you would have something in common with. Without a doubt it’s such a wonderful opportunity for someone who doesn’t feel like they have a support system in their life or friends that they have something in common with. Or they just feel a bit lonely.

We have talked so much about finding our purpose in life. Well, very often our purpose has nothing to do with a vocation. Often times our purpose is fulfilled by looking at what brings us joy and sharing it with others. Or, we look at what we feel needs to change in the world and try to do our part to help make that happen.

This episode is not about lecturing anyone to go out and volunteer or give back. But once again it’s an opportunity to become self-aware if there is something missing in your life. Or becoming self-aware that the things that you’re doing to bring down your depression or anxiety, or loneliness aren’t working and you need something else. And maybe just maybe giving back to someone, some thing or some cause is all you need.

There is another situation or personality type that could benefit from giving back. Maybe you’re one of those who has become so wrapped up in your own ego and life, belongings, and stuff that you need a reality check. You need to find some level of compassion or increased empathy. Maybe you need a new understanding of the challenges that someone else or a different community might be experiencing. Sometimes we just have to get out of our cushy lives, our quote unquote perfect self to see firsthand the struggles and needs of others. And I can’t think of any better way to do that than volunteering. There is nothing more eye opening than having a change in perception about your own life by seeing how others live.

So here in lies the joy of volunteering. You are not only doing it for the cause, You are actually doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because somehow that one place where you’re volunteering, or giving back is making you feel just that much better about your life, your purpose, and your perception of the world.

I also believe wholeheartedly that volunteering sets an amazing example for your children and those around you. My grandchildren watch me do rescue work all the time. We had been saving coins for my grandson to do something special like a karate class or buy something for himself for his birthday. And when that time came around, I asked him what he wanted. And at eight years old, he said to me, I think we should give it to a dog rescue. You can imagine the look on my face; pride, shock and unbelievable love. That gesture was going to bring him more pleasure… than a toy.

Compassion can be taught to our children. Each person’s life that you touch when you volunteer starts to heal our world.

Martin Luther King said,

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?”

Elizabeth Andrew says,

“Volunteers do not necessarily have the time, they have the heart.”

If this episode has touched you in anyway or sparked any curiosity about how you can give back then jump on the internet and search up volunteer opportunities in your town. Or, list all of the things that you are passionate about and love to do and see if there’s a way to share it with someone else…FOR FREE!.

So my last quote today is one of my favorites by Sherry Anderson,

“Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless.”

To all my beautiful listeners, be kind to yourself, take care of your body, and your mind and your heart! Surround yourself with beautiful beings, give and see how much you receive in return!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again the next time.

The Magic Of Living A Fulfilling Life

March 20, 2024 By Shauna

This season of A Journey to Awareness is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. Well, what the heck does that mean? And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life. Today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to season two of A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffmann.

This season is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. That word is one that so many ads use and magazine covers… are you fulfilled in life?

Well, what the heck does that mean?

And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life.

Ok, let’s start with what does it mean to be fulfilled in life? For me it all comes back to the title of this season, the rhythm of our lives. Its when you can feel that you are exactly in rhythm with your heart, your desires, your joys. When you’re fulfilled and in tune with your soul’s rhythm you experience a deep sense of satisfaction, an overwhelming contentment and meaning in what you do and who you are. Being fulfilled is a state of being where you feel genuinely happy, at peace. But most importantly you feel aligned with your values, your passions, and most importantly your purpose.

For today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

Let’s start with purpose! When you are fulfilled one of the purest joys is having found your place and your purpose in relationships, a sense of purpose in your spiritual and psychological growth, a clear sense of self and a purpose in your work! And most importantly, peace and fulfillment comes from a clear sense of how your life contributes to something larger than yourself. Knowing that your actions and efforts have meaning and contribute positively to the world or even merely to the person standing next to you is a huge boost to creating a fulfilling life. A life with purpose.

Next let’s talk about authenticity. One of the most important things that contributes to a life of fulfillment is living authentically. Authentic self! Genuine self! My favorite words in the world! This means being true to yourself, your values, your morals, your ethics and your beliefs. Living your life. When you align your actions and your choices with who you truly are, what you truly need, you can’t help but feel more fulfilled because you’re not pretending to be someone else or living according to others’ expectations. Living according to others’ expectations instead of your own is one of the most jarring and uncomfortable feelings. And the rhythm of your life knows it.

Now here is one of my favorite pieces of a life fulfilled. Its what my whole podcast is about. Your own journey to awareness. This journey is a lifelong adventure where you are continuously learning, growing, and evolving as a person! Developing new skills, pursuing new interests, overcoming challenges, and expanding your perspective on anything from food to politics, religion to choosing the clothes that you wear. It’s the beauty and grace of becoming aware of your own voice. So one of the most profound parts of being fulfilled is continuing your journey to awareness.

Ok, this next one is pretty obvious. Yet, its also the one that causes more heartache and blocks to true fulfillment. There is no question that living a fulfilling life means surrounding yourself with positive relationships, meaningful connections. How can you possibly be fulfilled in your life without nurturing healthy relationships with family or friends, partners? These relationships are our biggest teachers and our biggest obstacles. And let’s not forget our relationships to the communities that you are in? Community! Last night my husband and I went to a fundraiser for City of Hope. To be in a room filled with people in our town who were there with the same goal to give back was truly FULFILLING! My husband turned to me and said, “Wow, we live in a really great town.”

So you can see, this episode can go on and on! Finding fulfillment takes a whole lifetime for many. Talking about all the ins and outs, joys and challenges in one episode is never going to happen. There is so much to finding fulfillment in life. But I do want to touch on just a few more for you to think about.

Gratitude! Being grateful for what you have and living in the present moment! Wow! Can you feel yourself filling up when you think of what you are grateful for?

What about contributing to the lives of others? Whether it’s through acts of kindness, volunteering, mentoring, or simply being there for someone, this can create a profound sense of fulfillment. Just knowing that you’ve made a positive impact on others’ lives can be incredibly rewarding. And it doesn’t have to be on a large scale. It can be doing something for your child, or a neighbor. Saving a rescue dog! Feeding the birds in your yard. Those moments may seem so tiny. But they are the gold in the treasure of living a fulfilling life.

Now let’s think about how being aware and working on your own Health and Well-being brings you fulfillment ! How many days do your feel better about your life when you have taken care of your physical, mental, or emotional well-being?

Oooh, next let’s think about how achievements and success fulfill your soul. Accomplishing a meaningful goal whether big or oh so small, can change the rhythm of your day, your life, your soul. Sometimes for me its achieving a week of making my bed everyday! It’s crazy how proud of myself I am as I walk by my room! Aaah, the little things that fulfill my life!

Now let me share the final part of my being that truly fulfills me. It’s when I feel balanced in life. And really it’s balancing all the things I have spoken about so far.

I try and help my clients and myself strive for some kind of balance between work, relationships, hobbies, fun and relaxation, self growth, meditation, exercise! And I think we all know that this is by far the hardest thing to do. But it’s the crux of a fulfilling life. One minute we may fill our life with our work, the next a relationship, the next our own breaking free and finding ourselves by leaving a job or a relationship. Then there is balance in our family life. All of these individually create who we are. But by balancing it in a truly healthy way that’s when we are truly fulfilled. There is no longer a feeling that something is missing. We are filled. We are full. We are fulfilled!

It’s important to remember that fulfillment is a deeply personal experience. What brings fulfillment to you may be different for someone else. But when you take the time to understand yourself, what truly matters most to you, and you spend each moment pursuing a life that aligns with your values and your heart, then you have found the “rhythm of your life”!

Oh, I am so glad you joined me today. This podcast is truly a part of what fulfills my life. I’m so grateful for my listeners, soul partners on this journey to awareness as we each find the rhythms of our lives.

May the next week fill you with so much happiness, kindness to yourself and others. Eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, do something crazy and fun, fill your mind with lots of positive things and listen to amazing music as you find the rhythm of your soul. Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and look forward to popping back again next time.

69 Unlock The Golden Handcuffs To Your Dreams

June 18, 2022 By Shauna

Hello and welcome to a Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman

Oh, so many journeys to delve into today! Journeys that take us on adventures around the world. And journeys that take us to the deepest parts of our psyche and soul. And sometimes they go together! Today I am going to dig into the idea of The Golden Handcuffs! If you have never heard that saying before it was originally used by companies that kept giving perks and financial incentives to their employees in order to keep them from quitting or going elsewhere. Get it? Golden Handcuffs? Well in the world of psychotherapy we have come to use that saying to show that sometimes we stay in relationships way too long because we don’t want to give up the lifestyle we have at the time. Or we don’t go after our passions because the job we are in has us so quote-unquote “secure” that we push our dreams aside in order to keep the money status quo.

SHOWNOTES:

But the golden handcuffs are truly handcuffs that are tying you down and keeping you from your happiness! Ok, I won’t sugarcoat that sometimes the fear of living a different lifestyle…less than what we are living now, can be really frightening. But the unhappiness that goes along with that really great pool, or driving that sports car, or wearing those designer clothes cannot heal a lonely heart. It can’t quiet that haunting feeling, or guilt when you are pushing aside the messages from your soul that there is something else and it is waiting for you! Something that feels more right than the current not-so-right. Something that represents you to the deepest part of your being. So in the end it comes down to deciding… what’s important in life!

On the other side of the coin, when we’re secure in our finances, The Golden handcuffs also come into play in the way we spend our money. Or our fears around spending our money. What can we afford? What money are we willing to part with in order to go after our dreams? Can we unlock the handcuffs to stretch our finances to fulfill a dream? Can we change jobs in order to fulfill our souls versus our bank accounts? Can we take that one very special trip we’ve always dreamed of?

My husband and I recently kicked out a Galapagos cruise website, cruisingtotheglapgos.com …because we have a dream of sailing to these magical islands filled with the most extraordinary wildlife. Have you ever heard of a place where the wildlife have no fear of humans? It happens on The Galapagos. They come right up to you, or casually walk right by you! You can swim with the penguins or surf with the seals. It’s like no experience anywhere in the world. But on the other hand, it is really expensive. I have taken over 200 cruises all around the world and nothing has called to me more than this cruise. And there it was. The bank account Golden handcuffs. Do we dig into our savings and splurge on our biggest dream vacation ever? Or do we let it sit in the bank and collect interest until someday when we may need it?

Maybe it’s the golden handcuffs. Or is it fear around lack? Fear around the unknown what ifs? What if we have a house emergency or a medical emergency?

We talked it all through and then we had a change in perception! It didn’t take us long to realize that life is too short, the world is changing, and we don’t know what our futures will bring us, especially after the Covid hell we have all just gone through. But if I let go of fear, and look at what my true passions and dreams are then why the hell would I not book this trip? And What if the what-ifs are actually a huge financial windfall or success? What if can go both ways!

And there ya have it. The golden handcuffs are really just the word fear wrapped up in shiny gold. And it most often keeps us from choosing our own happiness. I love to have my clients really think about how money affects their lives. Obviously, we need it to survive. So many people have struggled in the last year and so many are still struggling.

So how does that affect the way they look at money?

Have you ever thought about what money is? I have! It’s really just another form of energy exchange!

Think about it… someone creates a handmade chair. They use their creative energy and physical energy to design and build it. Then they sell it and get paid for it. Money is the exchange for their energy!

Then the chair maker takes that money and goes to the farmers market and buys fruit. Fruit that was grown with the energy of the farmer. So the chair maker exchanges the energy he received in the form of money and gives it to the farmer…

Then the farmer buys a dress for his little girl… he exchanges that energy he received in the form of money and he gives it to the dressmaker. And it goes on and on from there! All that energy has just been shared around the world. All that money is is the energy of thousands and thousands of people around our planet.

Now the big stuff….
I like to ask my clients to look at the Golden Handcuffs in a different way. What if the golden handcuffs are not about how much money we have or make… but what if it is about the way we perceive money. And what if the way we perceive money is wrapped around what we believe we deserve in life?

There are so many books on this topic. When I did some of my own internal work around money and what I believe I deserve I was fascinated by what I learned. There is a great book, written years ago called The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder. She talks about the concept of the Vacuum Law of Prosperity. She says that if you want greater good in your life, greater prosperity, and greater happiness then you have to form a vacuum to receive it. You have to get rid of what you don’t want to make room for what you do want. It is the same concept in Feng Shui. In other words, you have to empty a space for the universe to fill it. Or better yet, for you to fill it!

Let me say this. I am not suggesting that you spend your money without thinking about how much you can spend without putting yourself in debt. Or irrationally making decisions. I am asking you to make sure that you give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

Let me say that again…

I am asking you to make sure that give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

When I did that for myself I thought about every vacation or trip I have taken and the experience that I have had. Traveling I have lived and learned so much more than I ever could have at home. I have been challenged to let go of my pre-conceived ideas about people, cultures, and the world. When I think of the things in life that have had lasting impacts on me, memories that touch me deeply, they are invariably from an adventure I’ve been on.

And so it is! That’s all it took for me to realize I am booking my Galapagos cruise.

I have talked about many of my adventures on my podcasts… walking the streets of Budapest with my Hungarian mom, finally visiting and meeting the Cuban people, my 50th birthday hiking the trails the Incas did to Machu Picchu, and seeing the Southern cross along the way! Riding a camel in Egypt as I stare at the pyramids! Wineries in Italy, the ruins in Greece, horseback riding in Mexico. How they taught me to love and respect other cultures.How I learned so much about myself on every one of them.

How can I ever put a dollar amount on how those trips touched my soul? I can’t. I know that they cost me money. Do I remember how much? No! But do I absolutely know how each of them changed my life? Yes!

So I am going for it. The golden handcuffs will not stop me from walking with giant tortoises on The Galapagos and seeing the dance of the blue-footed booby!. After all, I truly believe that the vacuum I create will be filled with more joy than I can possibly imagine! And the energy I receive back from the energy I put out will be shared all around the world.

So what are your golden handcuffs?

What have you wanted in life that money has kept you from?
What changes have you avoided because you have not wanted to unlock the golden handcuffs?

And most importantly what do you deserve in your life?

I am excited to share that I have a women’s retreat with an amazing therapist and life Coach, Molly Lyda this October. And what is the name of it? “It’s my turn”. A three-night Journey to awareness lovefest to honor all that you deserve and love about yourself! It is all about claiming your right to happiness! Check it out on my blueoceanretreats.com website.

So now it’s your turn. Take some long walks and think about this episode and what it means to you! Journal! Look up at the stars and let your own dreams come to life. You don’t need a shooting star to wish on. You can do it for yourself! Unlock the golden handcuffs, stretch your arms out to the universe and live life to your absolute fullest!!

To all of the amazing souls listening today, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

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