Joy

It’s Not The Relationship. It’s The Missing Piece Inside Yourself

June 11, 2025 By Shauna

Today we’re gonna talk about something that is extremely common and also can be very enlightening. You are in a relationship and something in you feels off. You feel tired, you’re drained. You might have some level of depression. There is something that’s missing in you and you don’t know why. You might find yourself crying for no reason. You’re getting short with the person you’re supposed to love. And all of a sudden you begin to wonder, am I unhappy because of them? You start imagining leaving them. Maybe that will fix it. Maybe once you’re free of this person, once you are free of the weight of this relationship, then the sadness, and the emptiness will lift.

Well, what happens when you leave and the weight is still there? Guess what? It was never the person in the first place. It was the part of you that you’ve been ignoring! You weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough! You weren’t enough for yourself! Let me say that again… you weren’t sad because they weren’t enough. You were sad because you weren’t enough for yourself!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we’re gonna talk about something that is extremely common and also can be very enlightening. You are in a relationship and something in you feels off. You feel tired, you’re drained. You might have some level of depression. There is something that’s missing in you and you don’t know why. You might find yourself crying for no reason. You’re getting short with the person you’re supposed to love. And all of a sudden you begin to wonder, am I unhappy because of them? You start imagining leaving them. Maybe that will fix it. Maybe once you’re free of this person, once you are free of the weight of this relationship, then the sadness, and the emptiness will lift.

Could it be that when you entered into this relationship you stopped chasing your dream! You buried your ambition in the soft comfort of the relationship and then you got mad at the other person when it didn’t fill the hole in your soul? Maybe your dream was music or writing, starting that nonprofit, going back to school, traveling, opening that amazing bookstore that you always talked about. For whatever reason you didn’t follow that dream and now you think what is missing is in the relationship when what is really missing is a longing deep within you.

Wow this realization can hit like a wave. You’re not heartbroken because the relationship is wrong. You’re restless because you’re off course. Here is a fact! Your soul doesn’t care who’s next to you in bed If you’re not waking up to something that lights your own fire. When we don’t find what sparks us, we project our disappointment on the people closest to us. And often it’s our partners that bear the weight.

So what now? You don’t have to blow up your relationship. You don’t need to walk out. But you do need to walk toward something! Pick up that dream and dust it off. Look your partner in the eye and say I have been thinking about the fact that I’ve blamed you for something that’s actually about me. I wanna find my spark again. I need to find my spark again and I hope you’ll support me! And if they are the right person they will. Because it was never about escaping them, it was about returning to you.

One of my clients asked me how do we do that if we don’t know what our passion is. We don’t know what our spark is. We have been so involved in being a mom or a dad, paying the bills or filling the roles that other people want that we really have no idea what little message is gnawing at us wanting to be brought to life.

It’s perfectly normal to be unsure. I’ll give you a personal example. Before I became a therapist. I had a thriving cruise business, theater company, happy marriage. But then all of a sudden I felt like something was missing. I started to blame everything around me for my unhappiness instead of realizing that there was a piece inside me that I wasn’t listening to.

First of all, I’m going to say that I think there are so many sides of our personality, our dreams. I loved owning my own business, working for myself. I loved to travel. I had fulfilled that by starting a theater company that I could actually take on cruise ships because I love the ocean. I love being on the water. But then I realized that everything was about me and I needed a way to give back. At that point I was producing videos on A Course in Miracles with Marianne Williamson, so spirituality and spiritual psychotherapy was fascinating to me. But I still wasn’t giving back one on one. So I searched and searched for a place to volunteer and decided to start tutoring children struggling to learn how to read.

Then one day I was tutoring this 12 year old boy and I realized that I was working really hard to get him to believe in himself. We were spending time in front of a mirror saying, Repeat after me. I’m smart. I’m smart. I’m smart. I can do this. His parents were very cruel and put this little boy down so much that he had no belief in himself. And all of a sudden I realized I wasn’t tutoring him, I was doing therapy with him! And that’s when it hit me. I think I wanna become a therapist. So owning a business, having a life filled with husband and animals, travel and acting, writing, directing, and everything that I was doing I still decided to go back and get my master’s degree. I knew it was going to be a long haul and I hadn’t been back in school in 12 years, but I did it anyway. I decided to take it day by day and see if this would fulfill my soul. And now here I am… it did.

Now I have so many different businesses it’s ridiculous. I have a Therapy business. I have a podcast. I have a travel business. I have a speaker trainer business, I have a theater company, I rescue collies and I love all of it and now every piece of me is being honored.

Ok, enough about me…the point is you might not know where your passion is leading you or what your passion even is!

But I’m gonna tell you this. You’re not behind! You’re on a path! Each step that I took, each revelation that I had, brought me to a different experience. And each different experience helped me realize what my heart was longing for. And in the end, it was never about being happy with my relationship, my home, the town I lived in. There was nothing I needed to escape from. What I needed to do was go towards something! Not leave anything behind, but move towards something on a path that would bring me happiness.

I know there are many of you that have no idea what your passion or purpose is. First of all, I’m gonna say your purpose and your passion might not be the same thing. And because of that, it’s a whole ‘nother podcast and subject to delve into. So for now I wanna bring it all back to what we started to talk about. And that is, that often times when we feel like something is missing in our relationship. It might not be the relationship. It’s something that’s missing inside of you.

Ask yourself… What piece of me feels empty? Am I sharing myself with the world in ways that bring me joy? Is there something about myself that I am longing for? Something to learn? Something to do? Something to share? Then sit back and listen! Listen to your heart! Journal about what you dreamt of as a child? Look around you and see what makes you happy! Do you want to go back to school? Write a novel? Or just learn how to grow roses? I love this idea…Go to a bookstore and peruse the magazine section and see which one you want to pick up! Photography? Gardening! Astronomy? Hiking? A magazine on reptiles or dogs or llamas!

Follow Your Energy

As yourself: When do I feel most alive? What tasks feel like a “yes”?

2. Look Backward

Childhood clues — what did you love before people told you what you “should” do?

3. Explore Without Commitment

Try a class, volunteer, shadow someone, dabble.

4. Journal Prompts to Reflect On

What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?
What do people ask me for help with?
What have I always secretly wanted to try?
I like this one. What do you feel slightly jealous of that someone else is doing? This is a great clue as to what you long for in your life!

My friend Marianne Williamson says “When we are centered in joy, we attain our wisdom.”

And I want to take that a step further and say …when we are centered in the wisdom of our soul, we will find true joy.

Again…when we are centered in the wisdom of our soul, we will find true joy.

Oh beautiful listeners, take tiny steps to find what touches you deep inside! It will be your next step on your glorious journey to self awareness!

I hope this episode has sparked something in you that you didn’t know was missing, or was hiding in the deep spaces of your heart. I hope this helps you continue on your journey! I hope you do so with gentle kindness towards yourself!

Please take wonderful care of yourself! Eat nourishing foods, drink lots of water and surround yourself with loving beings.

Once again, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again…next time!

Expect The Unexpected

May 1, 2024 By Shauna

Expect the unexpected is a way to encourage staying adaptable or flexible in any situation. The first step in staying flexible is to have an open mind! I like to point to a painting in my office and tell my clients not to frame the painting yet! Keep painting! Life is not static. It is also about embracing spontaneity!

Think about it. Expectations are static. But life is far from static. Having an open mind, being flexible is how you use your creativity, your problem-solving skills and your instincts in any situation that arrives to take the next step. Good or bad!

Are you ready for the unexpected? Listen in…

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Many of you know this, and some of you don’t know. I own another business called Whodunit. It started as a mystery theater company turned into a mystery cruise company, turned into a giant event cruising business. I have been lucky enough to cruise over 200 times in my life, all over the world. And our Whodunit motto is, “expect the unexpected”! So I thought, what a perfectly fun motto and life hack I have been living for the last 40 years to talk about today.

To expect the unexpected can be anything! The unexpected could be some amazing gift that you receive, or a relationship you never expected to have, or you win the lottery! Or the unexpected could be a glitch in your life, or something went wrong in your day. The unexpected can either be looked at as a good thing or a challenge. Well, I want to kind of look at it today just as the unexpected. Neither good nor bad!

OK, this motto goes right along with living in the present. It means that you stay exactly where you are and expect that you never know what’s gonna happen next. I guess it could also be, expect nothing and see what comes. Or, expect that you will be able to handle whatever comes. Good, bad, challenging, fun, crazy, miraculous.

So how do you take the next step and stay flexible? First you breathe. Then you assess. Then you have to gather all of your mind skills and awareness of the situation to look forward, not back, to change or adjust your plan. Even the best, unexpected events still need us to adjust our day or our thoughts or our emotions or our future.

There is a skill, or perception or attitude that I try to embrace in these moments. It’s maintaining a positive attitude. If I can do this even in the worst circumstances I can remember that I am a resilient person. I always get back up.

This is not so easy for everyone.

OK, this is going out to my listeners who may have depression or anxiety or be Type A personality, who feel more comfortable when they can control a situation. Embracing expect the unexpected will be most difficult for you. Anxiety comes from the inability to control the situation in your mind. And in order to stay open enough to expect the unexpected and be resilient you have to let go of the idea that you can control everything in your life. And for so many of you, this is the biggest challenge. The hardest part for this kind of personality is keeping a positive mindset. And how the heck do you do that if a new situation is making you feel fearful or nervous or anxious?

The first thing you have to do is let go of the idea and expectations that you had of the situation in the first place That situation has changed or it can change at a drop of the hat and there is no going back. While you’re in the situation and trying to manage it, you can’t start playing over all the things you did wrong. Instead you face forward and you open your mind to use all of that creativity and insight we talked about. Stay in the moment you are in and figure out how to take just one step. One step towards handling the situation.

Now here is a whole ‘nother way to think about expecting the unexpected. I always thought my husband worried too much about some thing that was going to happen while we made plans. His answer to me was, a “I’m not worrying. I am preparing for anything that could happen in this situation.” Well that made a lot of sense and I understood that his emotions weren’t wrapped up in preparing for it. He really wasn’t worrying. He was just preparing. So check yourself and see if you’re worried about something that is coming up in your life? Or are you preparing for it? And then be ready to throw everything out the window. Because if you have prepared for it, then it is not unexpected! And this whole episode is expect the unexpected!

Obviously, there are going to be times when the unexpected is something really difficult or heartbreaking, a loss of someone or something profound. Those are probably some of the most unexpected things that happen in our life. So for those situations keeping a positive mindset is very difficult. And I wouldn’t expect it of you. But the tools that you have in that situation are the ones that will help you get through. First you get support from everyone in your life that can be there for you. Next you prioritize your own self-care and mental well-being as you try to navigate this unexpected event. Being adaptable! Realizing that as a human, you really are adaptable even when you feel like you cannot move. Remembering that you have the power and eventually the strength to move forward with the support of your friends and family or professionals and do it with self-care. Eventually, you will have a change in perspective. A Course in Miracles is a spiritual book of psychology and it says that a miracle is a change in perception. You might not have that as you are in the situation but eventually your peace will come from a change in perspective and perception around the unexpected that happened in your life. In times like this, because I study the course, I just sit down and close my eyes and ask for a miracle. I am asking for a change in perception. One that will bring me just a little bit of peace.

OK now let’s have some fun and talk about the mindset behind expecting the unexpected and being ready for wonderful, amazing, miraculous, fun, wildly entertaining things to show up in your life. Things that you never expected. This is the mentality that people have when we say that they look at life with their glass half full instead of glass half empty. Admittedly, I am one of those people. I am always waiting for the miraculous to show up in my life each day. I wake up in the morning and I think to myself what is today going to bring me? I know what I have planned for the day, but the universe works in mysterious ways and my motto is expect the unexpected. So what is the unexpected gonna bring me today? Try it right now! You know what the rest of your day is supposed to be. Now say to yourself, “I expect the unexpected! I can’t wait to see what today will bring me!!”

Our minds are programmed! And believe me when I say that you can reprogram them! You can reprogram yourself to think positively instead of negatively. You can ask yourself how thinking negatively is helping you in your life and instead you can say, I choose another way. And then start practicing, practicing, practicing every day to look at the world with your glass half full. Then wait for that thing that is going to fill it all the way up!

My mom was a holocaust survivor. She was in Auschwitz from the age of 11 to 13, after her family was all killed. Yet my mom was one of the most joyous and positive people I have ever known. I used to say, “Mom you wear rose colored glasses”. And her answer to me was, “I know, I put them on.” Wow,v that said it all! She could’ve looked at her life as a glass half empty. Instead, she not only looked at it as half full, she looked at it as overflowing.

And thankfully, that is what she taught me!

I think for my mom it came from one word. Gratitude. She had so much gratitude for her life and that she survived, that it kept her looking forward in her life instead of looking back. It kept her staying in the moment instead of living in the past. And it kept her appreciating everything in her life instead of seeing what she no longer had.

To expect the unexpected means that you look for the silver lining in everything that happens in your life. It is also looking towards each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you.

Wow! Let me say that again! It is looking at each moment in your life and knowing that you deserve wonderful things to happen to you! I love the words, I deserve!

Right now, I want you to say this to yourself, I deserve wonderful things in my life.

I deserve magical things to happen to me today.

I deserve happiness, joy, fun, and miracles!

Then, after you turn off this podcast today, I want you to write a full page of everything that you deserve in life! And remember, you may not believe it yet, but this will be the beginning of reprogramming your mind and putting on your rose colored glasses!

I love this quote by Rhonda Byrne
There is a truth, deep down inside of you that has been waiting for you to discover it, and that truth is this… you deserve all good things life has to offer.

So today if you are going to expect the unexpected, I hope you expect all good things that life has to offer.

My beautiful listeners, please be good to yourself, drink, lots of water, surround yourself with loving beings, get lots of rest, go out and have fun, and expect the unexpected!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time

Heartstrings and Happiness – The Art Of Giving Back

April 24, 2024 By Shauna

Whenever I have a client who is sad or unhappy or lonely, or still hasn’t found a purpose that brings them joy, or they are new in a town or city and haven’t met new people, and they come to me for help, the first thing I suggest is to find a place to volunteer. I know my clients who are listening to this have heard it from me so many times.

This holds especially true for people who suffer from depression. Why? When you volunteer it is an opportunity, a moment, or afternoon or week to not think about yourself! It gives you just a little time to try and help “a cause”. And by doing that it shifts your focus and perspective to such a huge degree that inevitably it starts to help you feel better. When you are in depression or feel lonely, you tend to circle back to negative thoughts and emotions about yourself And your life. But giving back can change that!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I am Shauna Hoffman. Today is going to be a short episode because I have spent the last week volunteering for the dog rescue that I work with. So I thought rather than not doing one at all, I would do one and wrap it around what an amazing experience it has been for me volunteering this week.

And there is biology behind this! When a person is generous or altruistic, it creates a response in the brain that taps into positive emotions. Doctors believe that the brain produces and then releases neurotransmitters and hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. All chemicals that help us feel pleasure and happiness.

People think I’m crazy because even though I have three careers, I still volunteer. I am Vice President of Southland Collie Rescue in California. Saving Lassies. Saving animals is a huge passion for me that has personally changed my life, my perspective on the world, and on humanity. It has brought me a circle of friends that I adore and feel are just like me. Without a doubt, some of my closest friends have come from the work that I do in animal rescue.

It seems that no matter how exhausted I am, if I get a text or an email, or a private message about a dog that needs my help I can’t help but find the time to help rescue that collie.

Maybe it’s helping something that is so helpless themself. Maybe it’s my absolute passion with dogs and the joy they bring to our world. Maybe it’s that it gives me a break from my normal routine and business goals and is such a difference from helping humans that it draws me in. But one thing I know for sure, it absolutely takes me away from all of my own issues or challenges, exhaustion from work, worries, stress that I’m dealing with and let’s me focus on something so pure and egoless as a dog. And somehow, miraculously, it actually jumpstarts me and gives me back tenfold the energy I’m putting out. When I see a dog’s life saved, the joy I feel is overwhelming.

Animal rescue is only one way of giving back to humanity and the world. Volunteering and finding what moves your heart and soul is different for everyone. It could be something saving the planet that grabs your heart. It could be working with the elderly or foster children, or even a youth basketball team, or community project. it could be volunteering for your church or temple, it could be making food for the homeless. It could be getting kids out on a golf course and teaching them how to golf.

And it doesn’t have to be something so altruistic that it may change the world. When we take our dogs on Sunday mornings to walk in our town, we always come across this couple who are walking the pathways with one of those grabber tools and a bag picking up trash. Nobody has asked them to do it. They’re not getting any accolades for doing it. They’re doing it because it makes them feel good. I have a group of friends who are accomplished sci-fi writers. They have started podcasting and sharing all of their knowledge of writing for free, Hundreds of podcasts teaching writers how to accomplish their dreams.

Giving back to people, or your community or our world doesn’t need to be with an organization. It can be you buying a bouquet of flowers and giving it to a stranger, or your elderly neighbor, or a police officer or mailman you see. It is a selfless act of giving.

For a long time, before I had time to volunteer someplace, I would fill bags that I had gotten at a convention with all kinds of stuff a homeless person may need. I kept it in my trunk and if I saw someone I would stop and give it to them. Often they never said a word and just took it. That was fine! I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it for them. Not everyone has time to volunteer. But everyone, no matter who you are or where you are can give back. Even if it just trying to make someone smile today.

Another thing I love to do during Girl Scout cookie season, when they are selling outside a store, is to buy a box and tell the Girl Scout to give it to the next person they see that looks like they need to smile. I love to watch them search someone’s face to see who needs a smile. I got back! The Girl Scout got back and the person who got the cookies got back!

The idea of volunteering means you are not getting paid. You are choosing to be someplace and offer your energy with no expectations of anything personally in return.

But you do get so much in return. Like Connection, Community. Volunteering allows you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for making a difference. It’s one of the best ways to meet people that you would have something in common with. Without a doubt it’s such a wonderful opportunity for someone who doesn’t feel like they have a support system in their life or friends that they have something in common with. Or they just feel a bit lonely.

We have talked so much about finding our purpose in life. Well, very often our purpose has nothing to do with a vocation. Often times our purpose is fulfilled by looking at what brings us joy and sharing it with others. Or, we look at what we feel needs to change in the world and try to do our part to help make that happen.

This episode is not about lecturing anyone to go out and volunteer or give back. But once again it’s an opportunity to become self-aware if there is something missing in your life. Or becoming self-aware that the things that you’re doing to bring down your depression or anxiety, or loneliness aren’t working and you need something else. And maybe just maybe giving back to someone, some thing or some cause is all you need.

There is another situation or personality type that could benefit from giving back. Maybe you’re one of those who has become so wrapped up in your own ego and life, belongings, and stuff that you need a reality check. You need to find some level of compassion or increased empathy. Maybe you need a new understanding of the challenges that someone else or a different community might be experiencing. Sometimes we just have to get out of our cushy lives, our quote unquote perfect self to see firsthand the struggles and needs of others. And I can’t think of any better way to do that than volunteering. There is nothing more eye opening than having a change in perception about your own life by seeing how others live.

So here in lies the joy of volunteering. You are not only doing it for the cause, You are actually doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because somehow that one place where you’re volunteering, or giving back is making you feel just that much better about your life, your purpose, and your perception of the world.

I also believe wholeheartedly that volunteering sets an amazing example for your children and those around you. My grandchildren watch me do rescue work all the time. We had been saving coins for my grandson to do something special like a karate class or buy something for himself for his birthday. And when that time came around, I asked him what he wanted. And at eight years old, he said to me, I think we should give it to a dog rescue. You can imagine the look on my face; pride, shock and unbelievable love. That gesture was going to bring him more pleasure… than a toy.

Compassion can be taught to our children. Each person’s life that you touch when you volunteer starts to heal our world.

Martin Luther King said,

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?”

Elizabeth Andrew says,

“Volunteers do not necessarily have the time, they have the heart.”

If this episode has touched you in anyway or sparked any curiosity about how you can give back then jump on the internet and search up volunteer opportunities in your town. Or, list all of the things that you are passionate about and love to do and see if there’s a way to share it with someone else…FOR FREE!.

So my last quote today is one of my favorites by Sherry Anderson,

“Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless.”

To all my beautiful listeners, be kind to yourself, take care of your body, and your mind and your heart! Surround yourself with beautiful beings, give and see how much you receive in return!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again the next time.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

April 10, 2024 By Shauna

I heard this quote by Teddy Roosevelt and I knew it was going to be the next topic for us to delve into this season. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What an unbelievably profound statement that is. In truth, how can we even compare ourselves to anyone else on the planet? Every single one of us has different talents, history, different upbringing, education, intelligence, different dreams, different relationships and different families! How can we possibly compare ourselves to someone else when all of those things make us who we are? Listen in and let’s discover the answer together. Ready? Let’s go…

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to A Journey To Awareness. I’m Shauna Hoffman. I heard this quote by Teddy Roosevelt and I knew it was going to be the next topic for us to delve into this season. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” What an unbelievably profound statement that is. In truth, how can we even compare ourselves to anyone else on the planet? Every single one of us has different talents, history, different upbringing, education, intelligence, different dreams, different relationships and different families! How can we possibly compare ourselves to someone else when all of those things make us who we are?

So I thought a lot about that statement. “Comparison is the thief of joy.” When we compare ourselves to someone else, we usually only have two outcomes. One we either feel drastically better than another human being, or two, we feel less than. There’s definitely a level of arrogance when we think that we are better than anyone else. And deciding on the other end, that we are not as good as someone else, well it can only affect our self worth, self image and our self-esteem. So this became a really interesting topic to dig into on today’s podcast.

Obviously, there are lots of places in our society where we are compared to other people. We have to be compared to others when we’re up for the same job, or if we are trying out for a team or a play. Of course we will be compared to other people. But there’s a difference when other people compare us then when we compare ourselves.

Actually its not if we compare ourselves to others. It’s how we compare ourselves to others. It’s the things we believe about ourselves, the things we say about ourselves that steal our joy. This is what I believe is the crux of that statement, “comparison is the thief of joy.” If we are comparing ourselves to others and it brings us unhappiness then we need to look deeper at why.

The more I thought about it the more I realized in order to find happiness in comparisons it’s not others that we should be comparing ourselves with, but we should be comparing ourselves to the person that we want to be.

When we compare ourselves to others, we often focus on what we don’t have or what we haven’t achieved. This can create a feeling of lack or inadequacy, even if we’re successful in our own right. And the worst part is you are taking away all of your focus on getting better, or learning about the thing you want to achieve. Remember, no two people are the same. Each person’s journey is unique and how you got to this place in life is never the same as how someone else got there. Your skills and someone else’s skills and your experience, and someone else’s experience are never ever going to match. So to judge yourself, or make a comparison like that, it’s not only illogical, but it can only create unhappiness.

Why? It diminishes our Self-Worth. Constant comparison can erode our self-esteem. When we’re always measuring ourselves against others, it’s typical that we overlook our own strengths and accomplishments. And the worst part about this is that self worth and self esteem are the two things you need to become better at anything!

So it’s this nightmare catch 22.

Think about all those movies where the underdog wins in the end. Inevitably there was a coach, or parent or teacher or neighbor that helped them believe in themselves. So what if that voice is your own telling yourself how amazing you are and you can do anything?

Comparison limits our gratitude! Let’s talk about keeping up with the Joneses. It’s when we compare what we have in life to what someone else has. Comparison of things and accomplishments shifts our focus to what we lack rather than what we have. What we can’t do as opposed to what we can. It definitely steals our ability to feel grateful for the blessings and achievements we do possess.

This next idea is what I consider one of the most detrimental affects comparisons have on our happiness.

Comparing ourselves to others is huge fuel for envy and jealousy. And wow, that eats away at our souls. Instead of celebrating others’ successes, some people choose to feel resentful or bitter. Well, there is no way that this is conducive to a happy mindset.

So that brings me to this. Some people would rather use other people’s success as fuel for their own unhappiness or failures then to take a look at themselves and see what they need to do to change, or what they need to learn, or what they need to let go of, in order to finally succeed. Playing the martyr is easier for them than doing the work it takes to look deep within and make changes to bring happiness to their lives!

There is a spiritual belief that if you wish someone else lack or failure you are actually claiming that you shouldn’t have that success either. The truth is there’s always someone richer, smarter, or more successful than you. If you can see their success as a goal for yourself and proof that it can happen, then That will bring you more energy towards your own success then envy ever will!

So, now let’s talk about some of the wonderful ways and reasons to compare ourselves with others. There is a beautiful thing called healthy competition. That’s when your desire to succeed is matched by the joy that you get from seeing others succeed. It’s not about winning in the end. So often it’s about gaining other things like learning more about something, or attaining better skills at what you want to do. Basically, it’s a mindset that’s focused on growing and not just winning, but becoming better at something! And there’s no question that this kind of good sportsmanship breeds joy, excitement, and happiness.

I have found that in all truth, this has become even more difficult in this day and age, because we are living in a world of social media where we can see every single thing that someone else achieves, or buys or travels to, or does with their life. But if we could look at each of those things and see them as proof that we can do the same then that’s what will bring us hope for our own success.

So, I want you to think about the following the next time you’re in competition with someone for something. Regardless of what you get in the end, try practicing gratitude. Focus on what you’re grateful for no matter what happens. This will shift your perspective from lack to abundance!

I always like to celebrate the win and loss of any competition that I may find myself in. The first way I do that is realizing that if I’m even in the place that I’m at, competing with someone for a better job or position, it must mean that I’m pretty damn successful myself. If not, I wouldn’t even be considered in the first place.

I think one of my favorite parts about realizing that I don’t want to compare myself to others is the joy of celebrating my own individuality. It’s the joy of recognizing everything that makes me different from anyone else. It’s the joy of understanding that in each moment I can choose to embrace everything positive about myself, and I can embrace everything I might need to change or learn, in order to become better at something, or just a better, happier human. It’s the understanding that just because someone else has something, in truth, I might not really want it in the first place! If I take myself out of competition with others, then the only thing I have to bring me joy is my own self growth, my own learning experiences, and my own successes.

Well, ain’t that one way to take back control of your life!

So here’s a list of wonderful ways to change the channel in the music of your soul if you are feeling all of the unhappiness around comparing yourself to someone else.

First of all practice gratitude. Focus on what you’re grateful for in your life and be grateful for all of the things that you have achieved in life.

If you are one of the people who find unhappiness by too much social media use, then limit it! Don’t allow yourself to compare your life to people you are reading about online. I want you to set your own personal goals. I don’t want you to define your measure of success based on anyone else’s. Base your success on your own values, your own interest and your own aspirations.

Celebrate your differences! Realize that every person has their own journey and there’s absolutely no point to comparing your journey to theirs.

Most importantly, cultivate self compassion! Treat yourself with so much kindness, and even more understanding! Choose the words you say about yourself very carefully. Choose loving kindness towards yourself!

I came up with this topic this weekend because I watched a movie on Netflix called “The Beautiful Game.” It was about the international homeless soccer competition. It was such a beautiful story that exemplified absolutely everything I talked about on this podcast. This is actually a true competition that takes place every year. The star soccer player in the film had to fight all of his own demons around comparing himself to others, whether in life or on the field. He was one that was taking the arrogant way of looking at himself in competition with others. He was better than everyone else. As you can guess the story all came back to what he really felt about himself! I don’t want to tell you the end of the movie because I hope you watch it yourself. But, suffice it to say that it showed everything about the beauty of healthy competition and how it can change your soul.. if you let it.

Thank you, Teddy Roosevelt, for the quote “Comparison is the thief of joy”. I hope each of us can look deeply at ourselves and realize this profound truth and that we have the power to change the rhythm in our souls.

To all my beautiful listeners, please be gentle on yourselves surround yourselves with loving beings… who believe in you. Look in the mirror and see everything about yourself that is grand, successful, and glorious! Thank you for letting me into your life this week, and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

42 Calgon Take Me Away

November 1, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

It’s the week of the election. You may be listening to this before the results are announced or after. Either way, I know that the world is so filled with anxiety and fear that all of us must be feeling it somehow. It’s like the whole country is holding its breath waiting to see what will happen. It’s a feeling of being out of control of the outcome even though we have donated, campaigned, and… or voted for who represents our values. So for this podcast, I decided to bring you back to the one thing you can control. YOU.

Calgon take me away! OK… I hope I am not showing my age with that one.

This podcast is going to be a total lovefest where we bring down your anxiety and give you an escape! For the length of this podcast, I want to take you away to a different kind of reality. Not one on the outside of you. Not one based on the election, follow up, news, chaos, craziness! The best way I can do that is to take you on a journey first into your best memories. Your favorite memories! The moments that brought you joy! A respite to the deepest parts of you. And then we will explore your most magical dreams. The dreams of where you want to go! Who you want to play with! The music you want to listen to! The food you want to eat! The space that no one can create or recreate except for you. This week we step away from fear. We step into beauty, joy, and peace.

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