Hello and welcome to a Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman

Oh, so many journeys to delve into today! Journeys that take us on adventures around the world. And journeys that take us to the deepest parts of our psyche and soul. And sometimes they go together! Today I am going to dig into the idea of The Golden Handcuffs! If you have never heard that saying before it was originally used by companies that kept giving perks and financial incentives to their employees in order to keep them from quitting or going elsewhere. Get it? Golden Handcuffs? Well in the world of psychotherapy we have come to use that saying to show that sometimes we stay in relationships way too long because we don’t want to give up the lifestyle we have at the time. Or we don’t go after our passions because the job we are in has us so quote-unquote “secure” that we push our dreams aside in order to keep the money status quo.

SHOWNOTES:

But the golden handcuffs are truly handcuffs that are tying you down and keeping you from your happiness! Ok, I won’t sugarcoat that sometimes the fear of living a different lifestyle…less than what we are living now, can be really frightening. But the unhappiness that goes along with that really great pool, or driving that sports car, or wearing those designer clothes cannot heal a lonely heart. It can’t quiet that haunting feeling, or guilt when you are pushing aside the messages from your soul that there is something else and it is waiting for you! Something that feels more right than the current not-so-right. Something that represents you to the deepest part of your being. So in the end it comes down to deciding… what’s important in life!

On the other side of the coin, when we’re secure in our finances, The Golden handcuffs also come into play in the way we spend our money. Or our fears around spending our money. What can we afford? What money are we willing to part with in order to go after our dreams? Can we unlock the handcuffs to stretch our finances to fulfill a dream? Can we change jobs in order to fulfill our souls versus our bank accounts? Can we take that one very special trip we’ve always dreamed of?

My husband and I recently kicked out a Galapagos cruise website, cruisingtotheglapgos.com …because we have a dream of sailing to these magical islands filled with the most extraordinary wildlife. Have you ever heard of a place where the wildlife have no fear of humans? It happens on The Galapagos. They come right up to you, or casually walk right by you! You can swim with the penguins or surf with the seals. It’s like no experience anywhere in the world. But on the other hand, it is really expensive. I have taken over 200 cruises all around the world and nothing has called to me more than this cruise. And there it was. The bank account Golden handcuffs. Do we dig into our savings and splurge on our biggest dream vacation ever? Or do we let it sit in the bank and collect interest until someday when we may need it?

Maybe it’s the golden handcuffs. Or is it fear around lack? Fear around the unknown what ifs? What if we have a house emergency or a medical emergency?

We talked it all through and then we had a change in perception! It didn’t take us long to realize that life is too short, the world is changing, and we don’t know what our futures will bring us, especially after the Covid hell we have all just gone through. But if I let go of fear, and look at what my true passions and dreams are then why the hell would I not book this trip? And What if the what-ifs are actually a huge financial windfall or success? What if can go both ways!

And there ya have it. The golden handcuffs are really just the word fear wrapped up in shiny gold. And it most often keeps us from choosing our own happiness. I love to have my clients really think about how money affects their lives. Obviously, we need it to survive. So many people have struggled in the last year and so many are still struggling.

So how does that affect the way they look at money?

Have you ever thought about what money is? I have! It’s really just another form of energy exchange!

Think about it… someone creates a handmade chair. They use their creative energy and physical energy to design and build it. Then they sell it and get paid for it. Money is the exchange for their energy!

Then the chair maker takes that money and goes to the farmers market and buys fruit. Fruit that was grown with the energy of the farmer. So the chair maker exchanges the energy he received in the form of money and gives it to the farmer…

Then the farmer buys a dress for his little girl… he exchanges that energy he received in the form of money and he gives it to the dressmaker. And it goes on and on from there! All that energy has just been shared around the world. All that money is is the energy of thousands and thousands of people around our planet.

Now the big stuff….
I like to ask my clients to look at the Golden Handcuffs in a different way. What if the golden handcuffs are not about how much money we have or make… but what if it is about the way we perceive money. And what if the way we perceive money is wrapped around what we believe we deserve in life?

There are so many books on this topic. When I did some of my own internal work around money and what I believe I deserve I was fascinated by what I learned. There is a great book, written years ago called The Dynamic Laws of Prosperity by Catherine Ponder. She talks about the concept of the Vacuum Law of Prosperity. She says that if you want greater good in your life, greater prosperity, and greater happiness then you have to form a vacuum to receive it. You have to get rid of what you don’t want to make room for what you do want. It is the same concept in Feng Shui. In other words, you have to empty a space for the universe to fill it. Or better yet, for you to fill it!

Let me say this. I am not suggesting that you spend your money without thinking about how much you can spend without putting yourself in debt. Or irrationally making decisions. I am asking you to make sure that you give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

Let me say that again…

I am asking you to make sure that give your dreams and happiness as much weight as you give your bank account.

When I did that for myself I thought about every vacation or trip I have taken and the experience that I have had. Traveling I have lived and learned so much more than I ever could have at home. I have been challenged to let go of my pre-conceived ideas about people, cultures, and the world. When I think of the things in life that have had lasting impacts on me, memories that touch me deeply, they are invariably from an adventure I’ve been on.

And so it is! That’s all it took for me to realize I am booking my Galapagos cruise.

I have talked about many of my adventures on my podcasts… walking the streets of Budapest with my Hungarian mom, finally visiting and meeting the Cuban people, my 50th birthday hiking the trails the Incas did to Machu Picchu, and seeing the Southern cross along the way! Riding a camel in Egypt as I stare at the pyramids! Wineries in Italy, the ruins in Greece, horseback riding in Mexico. How they taught me to love and respect other cultures.How I learned so much about myself on every one of them.

How can I ever put a dollar amount on how those trips touched my soul? I can’t. I know that they cost me money. Do I remember how much? No! But do I absolutely know how each of them changed my life? Yes!

So I am going for it. The golden handcuffs will not stop me from walking with giant tortoises on The Galapagos and seeing the dance of the blue-footed booby!. After all, I truly believe that the vacuum I create will be filled with more joy than I can possibly imagine! And the energy I receive back from the energy I put out will be shared all around the world.

So what are your golden handcuffs?

What have you wanted in life that money has kept you from?
What changes have you avoided because you have not wanted to unlock the golden handcuffs?

And most importantly what do you deserve in your life?

I am excited to share that I have a women’s retreat with an amazing therapist and life Coach, Molly Lyda this October. And what is the name of it? “It’s my turn”. A three-night Journey to awareness lovefest to honor all that you deserve and love about yourself! It is all about claiming your right to happiness! Check it out on my blueoceanretreats.com website.

So now it’s your turn. Take some long walks and think about this episode and what it means to you! Journal! Look up at the stars and let your own dreams come to life. You don’t need a shooting star to wish on. You can do it for yourself! Unlock the golden handcuffs, stretch your arms out to the universe and live life to your absolute fullest!!

To all of the amazing souls listening today, thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.