lonely

Whenever I have a client who is sad or unhappy or lonely, or still hasn’t found a purpose that brings them joy, or they are new in a town or city and haven’t met new people, and they come to me for help, the first thing I suggest is to find a place to volunteer. I know my clients who are listening to this have heard it from me so many times.

This holds especially true for people who suffer from depression. Why? When you volunteer it is an opportunity, a moment, or afternoon or week to not think about yourself! It gives you just a little time to try and help “a cause”. And by doing that it shifts your focus and perspective to such a huge degree that inevitably it starts to help you feel better. When you are in depression or feel lonely, you tend to circle back to negative thoughts and emotions about yourself And your life. But giving back can change that!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I am Shauna Hoffman. Today is going to be a short episode because I have spent the last week volunteering for the dog rescue that I work with. So I thought rather than not doing one at all, I would do one and wrap it around what an amazing experience it has been for me volunteering this week.

And there is biology behind this! When a person is generous or altruistic, it creates a response in the brain that taps into positive emotions. Doctors believe that the brain produces and then releases neurotransmitters and hormones such as dopamine and oxytocin. All chemicals that help us feel pleasure and happiness.

People think I’m crazy because even though I have three careers, I still volunteer. I am Vice President of Southland Collie Rescue in California. Saving Lassies. Saving animals is a huge passion for me that has personally changed my life, my perspective on the world, and on humanity. It has brought me a circle of friends that I adore and feel are just like me. Without a doubt, some of my closest friends have come from the work that I do in animal rescue.

It seems that no matter how exhausted I am, if I get a text or an email, or a private message about a dog that needs my help I can’t help but find the time to help rescue that collie.

Maybe it’s helping something that is so helpless themself. Maybe it’s my absolute passion with dogs and the joy they bring to our world. Maybe it’s that it gives me a break from my normal routine and business goals and is such a difference from helping humans that it draws me in. But one thing I know for sure, it absolutely takes me away from all of my own issues or challenges, exhaustion from work, worries, stress that I’m dealing with and let’s me focus on something so pure and egoless as a dog. And somehow, miraculously, it actually jumpstarts me and gives me back tenfold the energy I’m putting out. When I see a dog’s life saved, the joy I feel is overwhelming.

Animal rescue is only one way of giving back to humanity and the world. Volunteering and finding what moves your heart and soul is different for everyone. It could be something saving the planet that grabs your heart. It could be working with the elderly or foster children, or even a youth basketball team, or community project. it could be volunteering for your church or temple, it could be making food for the homeless. It could be getting kids out on a golf course and teaching them how to golf.

And it doesn’t have to be something so altruistic that it may change the world. When we take our dogs on Sunday mornings to walk in our town, we always come across this couple who are walking the pathways with one of those grabber tools and a bag picking up trash. Nobody has asked them to do it. They’re not getting any accolades for doing it. They’re doing it because it makes them feel good. I have a group of friends who are accomplished sci-fi writers. They have started podcasting and sharing all of their knowledge of writing for free, Hundreds of podcasts teaching writers how to accomplish their dreams.

Giving back to people, or your community or our world doesn’t need to be with an organization. It can be you buying a bouquet of flowers and giving it to a stranger, or your elderly neighbor, or a police officer or mailman you see. It is a selfless act of giving.

For a long time, before I had time to volunteer someplace, I would fill bags that I had gotten at a convention with all kinds of stuff a homeless person may need. I kept it in my trunk and if I saw someone I would stop and give it to them. Often they never said a word and just took it. That was fine! I wasn’t doing it for me. I was doing it for them. Not everyone has time to volunteer. But everyone, no matter who you are or where you are can give back. Even if it just trying to make someone smile today.

Another thing I love to do during Girl Scout cookie season, when they are selling outside a store, is to buy a box and tell the Girl Scout to give it to the next person they see that looks like they need to smile. I love to watch them search someone’s face to see who needs a smile. I got back! The Girl Scout got back and the person who got the cookies got back!

The idea of volunteering means you are not getting paid. You are choosing to be someplace and offer your energy with no expectations of anything personally in return.

But you do get so much in return. Like Connection, Community. Volunteering allows you to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for making a difference. It’s one of the best ways to meet people that you would have something in common with. Without a doubt it’s such a wonderful opportunity for someone who doesn’t feel like they have a support system in their life or friends that they have something in common with. Or they just feel a bit lonely.

We have talked so much about finding our purpose in life. Well, very often our purpose has nothing to do with a vocation. Often times our purpose is fulfilled by looking at what brings us joy and sharing it with others. Or, we look at what we feel needs to change in the world and try to do our part to help make that happen.

This episode is not about lecturing anyone to go out and volunteer or give back. But once again it’s an opportunity to become self-aware if there is something missing in your life. Or becoming self-aware that the things that you’re doing to bring down your depression or anxiety, or loneliness aren’t working and you need something else. And maybe just maybe giving back to someone, some thing or some cause is all you need.

There is another situation or personality type that could benefit from giving back. Maybe you’re one of those who has become so wrapped up in your own ego and life, belongings, and stuff that you need a reality check. You need to find some level of compassion or increased empathy. Maybe you need a new understanding of the challenges that someone else or a different community might be experiencing. Sometimes we just have to get out of our cushy lives, our quote unquote perfect self to see firsthand the struggles and needs of others. And I can’t think of any better way to do that than volunteering. There is nothing more eye opening than having a change in perception about your own life by seeing how others live.

So here in lies the joy of volunteering. You are not only doing it for the cause, You are actually doing it for yourself. You’re doing it because somehow that one place where you’re volunteering, or giving back is making you feel just that much better about your life, your purpose, and your perception of the world.

I also believe wholeheartedly that volunteering sets an amazing example for your children and those around you. My grandchildren watch me do rescue work all the time. We had been saving coins for my grandson to do something special like a karate class or buy something for himself for his birthday. And when that time came around, I asked him what he wanted. And at eight years old, he said to me, I think we should give it to a dog rescue. You can imagine the look on my face; pride, shock and unbelievable love. That gesture was going to bring him more pleasure… than a toy.

Compassion can be taught to our children. Each person’s life that you touch when you volunteer starts to heal our world.

Martin Luther King said,

“Life’s most persistent and urgent question is what are you doing for others?”

Elizabeth Andrew says,

“Volunteers do not necessarily have the time, they have the heart.”

If this episode has touched you in anyway or sparked any curiosity about how you can give back then jump on the internet and search up volunteer opportunities in your town. Or, list all of the things that you are passionate about and love to do and see if there’s a way to share it with someone else…FOR FREE!.

So my last quote today is one of my favorites by Sherry Anderson,

“Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless.”

To all my beautiful listeners, be kind to yourself, take care of your body, and your mind and your heart! Surround yourself with beautiful beings, give and see how much you receive in return!

Thank you for letting me into your life this week and I look forward to popping back in again the next time.

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