Relationship

They Cheated On Me, Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

April 30, 2025 By Shauna

Today we’re digging in on love, relationships, and all the beautiful and very often messy, messy things in between. Let’s talk infidelity. Yep, that gut-punch, world-turned-upside-down moment. You are in shock, you are hurt, you are angry, you feel terribly betrayed.

Would you believe me if I said – you can get through this betrayal, and yes, some couples even come out stronger?

Listen in and learn how!

SHOWNOTES

Hello and Welcome to A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

Oh, today we are digging in on love, relationships, and all the beautiful and very often messy, messy things in between. I’m hoping this podcast will help you navigate the tough stuff with a little wisdom and a lot of heart.

Today’s topic? Oh boy, it’s a big one: infidelity. Yep, that gut-punch, world-turned-upside-down moment. You are in shock, you are hurt, you are angry, you feel terribly betrayed.

Would you believe me if I said – you can get through this betrayal, and yes, some couples even come out stronger?

Here is the gnawing question for most of you who are going through this right now. Should I stay or should I go? ‘Is my marriage or relationship over? Or, is there a path forward? Stick with me for just this podcast and let’s talk about how to heal, asking yourself can you rebuild trust? And in the end decide what’s best for you.

First there is the initial shock – I want you to Give Yourself Time from the minute you find out.

So, you just found out your partner cheated, you’re probably feeling everything at once. Rage. Hurt. Disbelief. Maybe even guilt. That’s normal.

Your brain is in survival mode, trying to make sense of something that makes no sense. It’s like there is a glitch in your heart. How can this be true? Here’s my first big piece of advice: Don’t rush into a decision.

Right now, you don’t need to know if you’re staying or leaving. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone. Big one…you don’t owe your partner forgiveness, and you don’t owe anyone an answer. You just need space to feel and process.

But that question is nagging at you! Do I fight for this relationship, or do I flee and save myself while I can.

It’s typical fight or flight! FIGHT- Do you stay and work on your relationship? Or flight – do you walk away?

Here’s the truth – there is no one-size-fits-all answer. But I do have some questions to help you get clarity.

Let’s start with Reasons to Consider Leaving:

Is your partner remorseful – or defensive and dismissive? This will tell you so much about how he respects you. And also, what to expect moving forward, if you stay. Unless he has some level of remorse you have a long road ahead of you. One where you and your feelings will be dismissed. And sometimes that is a bigger hurt than the betrayal.

Next- Was this a one-time betrayal or part of a pattern of lies? If this is a pattern you can probably expect that it will never change unless they seek help. If they keep repeating the behavior with no consequences, they have no reason to change.

Ask yourself this. Do they take full responsibility, or are they blaming you? Oooh, blaming is truly the game of someone with Narcissistic tendencies. “I did this because of you. It’s your fault I cheated on you. You don’t take care of my needs.” Now. I will talk about your responsibility in a minute. But if your partner is ONLY blaming you without taking any responsibility it becomes almost abusive. And if you stay, I need you to look at yourself and your own codependent behavior.

Have they cut ties with the person they cheated on you with? If they don’t want to… there is a lot to ask him as to why. Maybe co-worker, family, friend; either way you need to find out whether they want to keep that person in both of your lives. This would be asking so much from you that I am not sure you would be able to navigate without more hurt. Many people find this to be the strongest reason to leave the betrayer.

Big one– Has there been any abuse – emotional or physical – in the relationship? If the answer is yes, HANDS DOWN LEAVE! This is a conversation for a whole nother podcast. But, I want you to immediately seek help to get away from any abusive relationship. And if you would stay I want you to have a good therapist, helping you understand why you accept ongoing abuse.

Now ask yourself… What does your gut tell you? Is your gut telling you, I will never feel safe with this person again? The deep work is to ask yourself why.

Big picture…

If your partner is unwilling to acknowledge the pain they caused, refuses to change, or keeps breaking trust – leaving might be your healthiest option. Because forgiveness is one thing, but trust? That’s beyond imperative in a relationship, it is sacred, and it is earned!

Now let’s talk about Reasons to Consider Staying and Rebuilding:

Is your partner deeply remorseful and transparent? I love this word. Transparent. Can they be truly transparent moving forward in the relationship? That means; transparent in where they are at given times, social media accounts, phones, etc. Where this becomes hard is that some people think transparency means they have to tell you all the gritty details of the betrayal. I am not one that thinks this is a good idea. In fact, it can be harmful because then you have images in your head you can’t get out. But if you DO want to know every detail just know that your healing is going to take longer because the wound is much deeper.

Another thing to ask yourself if you are considering staying is…

Was this out of character…something they regret and are committed to fixing? To me this is the crux of the reason to hope. People make really bad decisions sometimes. If it is not usually in their character to cheat, then they need to get into a therapist and work on themselves. Then you can work together on fixing it all.

Were there underlying relationship issues that need healing, and are you both willing to do the work? This is when I want you to look at the challenges that were showing in the relationship BEFORE the betrayal. I call every relationship a co-created relationship. Not that you would ever condone infidelity, but what got you both to this moment in time? Is there work that needs to be done to make sure that the relationship is so strong, honest and real that no one feels the need to look outside to fill a need ever again.

Oh, here is a telltale question…

Do you still feel love and connection beyond the pain? This is when I need you to take some time and not make any decisions. When you’re first hurt you likely don’t feel love. You are angry and wish you didn’t have to look in their eyes, hear their voice, or see their face! Remember… anger covers hurt, hurt covers sadness and sadness covers love. You have to see if under the hurt there is still love.

And lastly,

Can you envision a future where trust is rebuilt?

If your partner is taking full accountability, showing up differently, and willing to do the hard work – then staying and rebuilding is absolutely possible! There is hope!

So, let’s say you decide to stay. Can trust be rebuilt? The answer is Yes. But it’s not about slapping on a ‘forgiveness’ sticker and moving on. Trust is earned over time through consistent, transparent, and patient effort.

Here’s what real trust-building looks like:

*No more secrets. Full transparency – no hiding, no defensiveness.

*Access to devices, locations, or social media (if that helps you feel safe).

*Open communication about triggers – because you will have them. For instance, if you see a movie where someone cheats, can you talk about it. If you go someplace where the betrayer took the other person you will need to talk about it. Love letters or cards you got from your mate that you saved and now you question the truth in them! So many triggers. What are you both ok talking about to get through these? You WILL be triggered!

*Commitment to therapy. Individual or couples therapy can be a game-changer. Everyone deserves to share their voice. With a good therapist you have hope.

*Time. Healing doesn’t happen on a deadline. Your emotions will have ups and downs, and that’s okay. So, let me be clear – if your partner is pressuring you to ‘just move on’ or getting frustrated with your healing process? That’s a red flag. True healing happens on your timeline, not theirs.

Now let’s talk about Setting Boundaries for Healing

Regardless of whether you stay or go, boundaries are essential. Why? Because boundaries protect your peace and allow you to heal. These are YOUR boundaries to consider…

Emotional Boundaries: What conversations are off-limits?
Physical Boundaries: Do you need space in the house? Do you need time alone?
Digital Boundaries: Will your partner check in more, or be more transparent online?
Social Boundaries: Do you need to avoid certain places or people?

And listen – your boundaries aren’t ‘too much.’ They’re about safety. If your partner truly wants to rebuild trust, they’ll respect them.

That was all if you stayed. Now What If You Choose to Leave?

Let’s say you realize this relationship is not for you anymore. That’s okay. That’s more than okay – it’s brave.

Leaving a marriage or long-term relationship is not a failure. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is choose yourself. If staying would mean constant fear, anxiety, or self-doubt, then walking away is not giving up. It’s choosing peace.

If you do leave, here is a recipe for happiness.

Surround yourself with:

Support. Friends, family, therapy – lean on people who love you.

Self-care. Rediscover who you are outside of the relationship.

Forgiveness (for yourself). You are not to blame for someone else’s betrayal. Repeat that! You are not to blame for someone else’s betrayal.

The healing process will have highs and lows, but I promise – you will not always feel this way.

So, I want to leave you with some Closing Thoughts:

There are No Wrong Choices, Only Your Choice!

Should you stay or should you go? The answer isn’t in this podcast – it’s in you.

If you’re staying, make sure it’s because you believe in your partner’s actions, not just their words. If you’re leaving, know that you are walking toward healing, not just away from pain.

No matter what, you are stronger than you think. You deserve love, honesty, and peace. And whether you’re staying, leaving, or still figuring it out – you will be okay. I believe in you!

Oh, beautiful listeners, please take care of yourselves this week. Drink lots of water, get lots of rest and have lots of fun! Surround yourself with loving beings and most importantly, love yourself!

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

When Your Grown Up Kids Take And Don’t Give Back

April 16, 2025 By Shauna

Today we’re talking about something that’s not just frustrating—it’s exhausting. What happens when your adult child keeps taking and taking from you, with total expectations that that’s what parents should do…continuously give with no expectations of receiving anything back. If you’ve ever felt drained from constantly giving but nervous about what might happen if you say “no,” then this episode is for you.

SHOWNOTES

Hello and welcome to A Journey to Awareness. I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we’re talking about something that’s not just frustrating—it’s exhausting. What happens when your adult child keeps taking and taking from you, with total expectations that that’s what parents should do…continuously give with no expectations of receiving anything back. If you’ve ever felt drained from constantly giving but nervous about what might happen if you say “no,” then this episode is for you.

Oh and for the record…sometimes it’s not your own children, but you are watching your friend or family member in one of these unbelievably codependent relationships and it hurts you.

So let’s start with the idea that there are Givers and Takers

You’ve raised them, loved them, and probably made more sacrifices than you can count. But now, your adult children are still calling for help—money, time, a place to stay, a listening ear—yet when you need something, it’s radio silence.

Parenting doesn’t come with an expiration date, but at some point, the dynamic needs to shift. Ideally, the relationship evolves into mutual respect and appreciation. But if you’re stuck in a cycle where you’re always giving, and they’re always taking, we need to take a closer look.

Why Does This Happen?

There are a few reasons adult kids might not be giving back:
1 They assume you’ve got it all together. After all, you were the one who handled everything growing up. Why would you need help now?
2 They’re in survival mode. The economy, job stress, and life pressures can make them feel like they barely have enough for themselves.
3 Learned behavior. If they’ve always been rescued, they may not even realize they should be returning the favor.
4 Emotional distance. Sometimes, as kids grow up they pull away emotionally and stop considering their parents’ needs, whether it’s from busyness, guilt, or just plain forgetfulness. Yet when they need you it is of course their instinct to reach out.

But how Do You Change the Pattern so you don’t feel used? So you feel seen by them? So you don’t get caught up in an unhealthy give and take relationship where the help you are giving them hurts more than saying no? WHAT? NO???

1. Check Your Boundaries. If you always say “yes,” they will always ask. You have set up the rules. They are just playing the game. What if I say it’s okay to say no. Repeat after me: “I love you, but I can’t right now.” I understand you need help. I believe in you and know you can figure this out without me.

2. Next let’s look at the probable scenario that you don’t Ask For What You Need. We set up this identity as parents that we are the caretakers and we don’t want them to know when we are vulnerable. Well that made sense when they were children because that made them feel safe. But now that they are adults it’s time to change that behavior. Your kids are not mind-readers! Let them know when you need a favor, whether it’s help with something around the house or just a check-in phone call.

3. What if you actually switched it up and tried to teach them Reciprocity. No matter what age they are or you are, this is possible! If they’re always hitting you up for money or help, flip the script: “I’d be happy to help, but could you take care of [small task] for me first?”. And what if you ask for this help at times they have not asked you for anything? We need to change our mindset that we can’t let our children know we need things. That we are vulnerable at times. You would be surprised when you find out that your children love to help you or do things for you but you never gave them the space to do it.

4. Ok next let’s talk about you Encouraging their Independence. It’s hard, but sometimes the best thing we can do is step back and let them figure things out without us as the safety net. I love to tell parents that you can’t take your kids’ lessons away from them. And you shouldn’t! If they are overspending and you bail them out all the time you are their partner in crime in their never becoming independent.

5. Ahhh. here is a big one… You need to Recognize Your Own Patterns. If giving has been your love language, it can be tough to stop. But love isn’t just about giving—it’s about balance. And parenting is not about saving them, it’s about helping them to grow up and live their own best selves….without you. Ah that is what sometimes is hard! Many parents want their kids to need them. They are afraid if they don’t then they will lose them. Let me just say that need is not love. If you are one of these kinds of parents I want you to do some journaling on what love is.

Now, let’s talk about a common reaction—anger.

When you start setting boundaries, your adult child might not take it well. Why? Because if they’re used to you always saying yes, your “no” feels like rejection.

How Do You Handle Their Anger?
1. Stay Calm. Their anger is about them, not you. You are not responsible for managing their emotions. Again, they are not toddlers anymore.

2. Repeat Your Boundary. “I understand you’re upset, but this is what I need to do for myself. I love you, but I won’t be treated this way. I don’t deserve that anger towards me”

3. Give Them Space. Sometimes, a little distance is the best way for them to process. If they lash out, don’t engage in a back-and-forth.

4. Don’t Feel Guilty. HARDEST PART FOR CODEPENDENT PARENTS! Setting a boundary doesn’t mean you don’t love them—it means you love yourself enough to say enough is enough. Remember, their anger doesn’t mean you did something wrong. It means you’re doing something different.

When Grandkids Enter the Picture

Now, let’s talk about a next-level challenge—when your adult child uses your grandkids against you. Maybe they limit visits when they don’t get their way, withhold time if you don’t give them what they want, or make you feel like seeing your grandkids is a privilege instead of a natural family bond. Or they turn your grandkids against you.

Nothing cuts deeper than being shut out from your grandchildren, especially when it feels like punishment for something you didn’t even do. And when an adult child holds your grandkids over your head—whether it’s to get money, control the relationship, or just out of spite—it can feel like a whole new level of betrayal.

How Do You Handle This?

1. Refuse to Play Their Game. If they’re demanding money, gifts, or favors in exchange for time with your grandkids, shut it down. You are a grandparent, not a vending machine. Think about these statements.

“I love my grandkids, but I won’t buy my way into their lives.”
“I’m happy to help when I can, but my relationship with my grandkids shouldn’t depend on that.”

2. Set Firm Boundaries.
“I’d love to spend time with the kids, but I won’t be manipulated.”
“If we have an issue, let’s talk about it like adults—don’t use the kids to punish me.”

3. Be the Safe, Steady Presence. Even if they’re limiting your time, make sure that when you do see your grandkids, it’s positive and loving. Never badmouth their parents in front of them—just be the safe, steady presence they’ll always remember.

4. Seek Mediation If Necessary. If the situation is serious and you’re being completely shut out, consider family counseling or mediation. In some cases, grandparent rights might be an option, but that depends on where you live and the circumstances.

The Hardest Truth of All

Sometimes, all of this boils down to one thing: an ungrateful adult child.
Not all adult kids are like this, but when they are, it stings. If your child takes you for granted, refuses to acknowledge all you’ve done, and gets upset when you stop enabling them… that’s emotional manipulation. And at some point, you have to protect yourself.

You are more than what you give. You deserve respect, appreciation, and a relationship that isn’t based on conditions or transactions.  You cannot control other people’s behavior. You can only control your own.

Let’s write these two statements down!
I am more than what I give!
I cannot control other people’s behavior.

If this resonated with you, share it with someone else who needs to hear it. And remember—setting boundaries isn’t mean, it’s necessary. Your love is valuable. You are valuable.

Oh beautiful listeners, please take care of yourselves this week. Drink lots of water, get lots of rest and have lots of fun! Surround yourself with loving beings and most importantly, love yourself!

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

Stop Screwing Up Your Life

May 15, 2024 By Shauna

Today we are back on the idea that when we are willing, we can change up the Rhythm Of Our Lives. We have talked about looking at yourself and deciding something has to change. Well, for the next few podcasts we are going to talk about the pieces of our psyche, our thinking and our habits that stop us from doing that. Today is a big one. It’s what I talk about in my book as the rebellious child/free child. When that side of us is healthy it is incredibly creative. It’s the side of our personality that thinks outside the box, rocks the boat for change. It’s the artist, it’s the creator. It’s the side of us that loves to play and have fun! We so need this side of us. It’s also called the creative child. But there is a challenge, when it goes overboard it’s the side of us that can totally screw up our lives.

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman. Today we are back on the idea that when we are willing, we can change up the Rhythm Of Our Lives. We have talked about looking at yourself and deciding something has to change. Well, for the next few podcasts we are going to talk about the pieces of our psyche, our thinking and our habits that stop us from doing that. Today is a big one. It’s what I talk about in my book as the rebellious child/free child. When that side of us is healthy it is incredibly creative. It’s the side of our personality that thinks outside the box, rocks the boat for change. It’s the artist, it’s the creator. It’s the side of us that loves to play and have fun! We so need this side of us. It’s also called the creative child. But there is a challenge, when it goes overboard it’s the side of us that can totally screw up our lives. I mean really. It’s the side of us that goes overboard.

Rebellious spirits lives a life of action with no fear of consequences.

As you can imagine as an artist or anyone who’s trying to create something, you have to think outside the box. You can’t put boundaries on your thinking, creations or your dreams. A matter of fact, for those of us who don’t live in that state, the word can’t or the fear of what others think is what stops us from being creative. Creativity is thinking outside of the known to create the unknown. It’s an exciting, exhilarating and adventurous endeavor.

It’s taking actions with no fear of consequences!

It’s also the side of us that makes us fun-loving, carefree. Think of some of the creative people you know and reflect on how much fun they are to be around! The rebellious/free child taps into a side of the human spirit that almost screams exciting energy. And they don’t care about what other people think. Rebellious child, creative child, free child.

Another wonderful side of rebellious/free creative spirits is the ability to be spontaneous and not stick to expected behaviors, routines or the ideas of others. It’s truly living expect the unexpected! My last podcast episode. If it’s raining outside, they come up with something else to do. They see unplanned opportunities as a way to go beyond obstacles. They throw out all the rules and create new experiences! And there again is the word… create.

Now here is how rebellious/free child spirits screw up their lives. It’s when the wild side of them goes overboard! I always say this is very much the teenager times in our lives. That’s why we call teenagers rebellious. Because they’re trying to break out of the norm and figure out who they are, and create their own rules for life. This state is what we call the Me state. What do I want to do? Where do I wanna go? So when the rebellious child state goes overboard it’s all about “what I want for myself” with little or no thought about the other person.

So how does it screw up your life? When you live your life with very few boundaries and in the Me state, it becomes way too easy to overindulge in just about anything. Drink too much. Hang out with your fun friends and do drugs. It’s the state where people have affairs, because again its action with no fear of the consequences. They’re not looking at the consequences of drinking too much on their health, on their life, on their marriage, on their parenting, on how it’s affecting their job. If they’re having affairs it’s because they’re looking for that fun, that high that they think they are not getting in their marriage. And they’re not looking at the consequences of how it’s gonna hurt someone else or destroy their relationship.They slip into the me state and escape.

We see this with so many of the most brilliant artists, musicians actors, writers, producers directors. They are extremely creative, and this side of them has helped get them to where they are in life. But it’s the negative side of the rebellious child that takes many of them down.

There is a huge danger in your life if you are nurturing an unhealthy rebellious child spirit. Combine this with another side of this state, wild spontaneity and chances are they jump into total denial. They have to deny the possibility that there is a negative outcome to what they’re doing. They deny that it’s harmful or hurtful and they let go of all of their boundaries… and boundaries are what keeps you safe.

Here is another dangerous side of when the rebellious/free child goes overboard. There’s very little guilt involved. So the rebellious child spirit can create a scenario that makes it OK for what they’re doing and they have no guilt of how it’s affecting anyone else. Guilt would mean they would have to change something. And when a rebellious child spirit goes overboard that’s the last thing they want to do. Change.

Now let’s talk about the free spirited side of rebellious Child/free child. It’s when the free spirited person becomes two free spirited. It sounds harmless, right? We love free spirited people. I love to see someone who dresses just the way they want to dress without caring what others think. It’s OK to be different. All of that is the healthy side of a free spirited rebellious child spirit. But when the free spirit goes overboard, they lose perspective on what is safe for them and around them. Like a woman who skips the beach alone, not even noticing that a man is following her. Or someone who puts their child in danger because they wanna break all the rules. This is when free spirited becomes reckless and logic goes out the window in favor of the adventure or rule breaking thinking of the rebellious/ free child state.

There’s a beautiful side of this kind of spirit and that is that they speak up for themselves. That’s what we practice as teenagers that gets us into trouble. But when it becomes overboard, then there is a chance that they become over emotional. That free spirited person who is so overboard that they want everyone to hear their voice! You’ve been around those kind of people where drama is the name of their game.

Emotional, rebellious, free spirited people, creative people, are more in touch with their emotional side. When it goes overboard it’s when the emotion gains control of them over the logic of a situation. Their emotion turns from you or us or the situation to me, me me.

So how do you know if this is you? The first question to ask yourself is is there a side of you that goes overboard that is affecting your life? Are you drinking too much? Are you doing too many drugs? Are you blowing off work? Are you having an affair outside of your relationship? Are you doing other dangerous things like driving too fast or over eating or eating tons of junk food. Here is a big one! Spending money with no fear of the consequences of overspending! Do your emotions get out of control?

Take a look at yourself honestly, with no denial, and ask yourself where is your rebellious free child going overboard? And then ask yourself how is it screwing up your life?

I always say that the first way to change is to make the subconscious conscious. Once you do that you can look at what you need to change in order to change the rhythm of your life. A bigger piece of this is to ask yourself, is there a creative side of you that you are not tapping into? Is there a fun loving spirit in you that is desperately needing attention? Are you working so hard that you’re rebelling in other ways? Are you an artist or a musician or a writer who has let that side of you go in in order to live a less creative life? Are you so rigid in so many other things in your life that the only way you can break free is going overboard with something unhealthy?

We all desperately need this side of us. But we need it healthy. Without a creative outlet, fun, spontaneity, playfulness, our subconscious is going to find quick and easy ways to experience it. And I can almost guarantee you that one way or another you will pay with the consequences that you’re not looking at.

So if you wanna stop screwing up your life, you actually have to look at your life. No more denial. No more closing off your adult thinking in order to get away with old behaviors. Get in touch with the wonderful and healthy and fun side of creative child. And if you don’t have a creative child, find it.

It might be something more subtle than you know. It might be creating a beautiful garden. It might be changing all of the colors in your home. It might be writing your memoirs or starting a screenplay or, getting out and doing more fun things with your life! Trying something new, going someplace new, and if you need to start very very small, then do so. And most importantly, if you need to look deeply at behavior that you know is screwing up your life, then put on your he, she, or they pants and do so.

In order to change the rhythm of our lives to find happiness and passion then we have to become self-aware and look at the things that are holding us back. Not with judgment, but with hope. Hope that you love yourself enough to make the changes to start you back on a path to your wonderful life.

Here is a perfect quote by Nayyirah Waheed,

There is no healthier drug than creativity!

Albert Einstein said,

Creativity is intelligence having fun!

This season of the podcast is about changing up the rhythms of our lives. But we have to look at what is stopping the music in our souls. So if you can take just a little time to look deep within… I believe you will find the answer. Remember no judgement, just hope.

Oh beautiful listeners, please take care of yourselves this week. Drink lots of water, get lots of rest and have lots of fun! Surround yourself with loving beings and most importantly, love yourself!

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time.

The Magic Of Living A Fulfilling Life

March 20, 2024 By Shauna

This season of A Journey to Awareness is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. Well, what the heck does that mean? And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life. Today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and welcome to season two of A Journey to Awareness, I’m Shauna Hoffmann.

This season is titled The Rhythm of our Lives. So often when we talk about self awareness or genuine self we leave out something that’s at the core of our happiness…finding what fulfills us. That word is one that so many ads use and magazine covers… are you fulfilled in life?

Well, what the heck does that mean?

And, can you be fulfilled in one part of your life and not another? Ok, the answer to that is yes. And what fulfills you may not fulfill me, or your partner, or parents, or children or anyone else in your life.

Ok, let’s start with what does it mean to be fulfilled in life? For me it all comes back to the title of this season, the rhythm of our lives. Its when you can feel that you are exactly in rhythm with your heart, your desires, your joys. When you’re fulfilled and in tune with your soul’s rhythm you experience a deep sense of satisfaction, an overwhelming contentment and meaning in what you do and who you are. Being fulfilled is a state of being where you feel genuinely happy, at peace. But most importantly you feel aligned with your values, your passions, and most importantly your purpose.

For today, let’s think about just a few of the most important aspects of your life that gives you a sense that your life is magnificently fulfilled; full and filled with all that magic that is in you and of you and for you!

Let’s start with purpose! When you are fulfilled one of the purest joys is having found your place and your purpose in relationships, a sense of purpose in your spiritual and psychological growth, a clear sense of self and a purpose in your work! And most importantly, peace and fulfillment comes from a clear sense of how your life contributes to something larger than yourself. Knowing that your actions and efforts have meaning and contribute positively to the world or even merely to the person standing next to you is a huge boost to creating a fulfilling life. A life with purpose.

Next let’s talk about authenticity. One of the most important things that contributes to a life of fulfillment is living authentically. Authentic self! Genuine self! My favorite words in the world! This means being true to yourself, your values, your morals, your ethics and your beliefs. Living your life. When you align your actions and your choices with who you truly are, what you truly need, you can’t help but feel more fulfilled because you’re not pretending to be someone else or living according to others’ expectations. Living according to others’ expectations instead of your own is one of the most jarring and uncomfortable feelings. And the rhythm of your life knows it.

Now here is one of my favorite pieces of a life fulfilled. Its what my whole podcast is about. Your own journey to awareness. This journey is a lifelong adventure where you are continuously learning, growing, and evolving as a person! Developing new skills, pursuing new interests, overcoming challenges, and expanding your perspective on anything from food to politics, religion to choosing the clothes that you wear. It’s the beauty and grace of becoming aware of your own voice. So one of the most profound parts of being fulfilled is continuing your journey to awareness.

Ok, this next one is pretty obvious. Yet, its also the one that causes more heartache and blocks to true fulfillment. There is no question that living a fulfilling life means surrounding yourself with positive relationships, meaningful connections. How can you possibly be fulfilled in your life without nurturing healthy relationships with family or friends, partners? These relationships are our biggest teachers and our biggest obstacles. And let’s not forget our relationships to the communities that you are in? Community! Last night my husband and I went to a fundraiser for City of Hope. To be in a room filled with people in our town who were there with the same goal to give back was truly FULFILLING! My husband turned to me and said, “Wow, we live in a really great town.”

So you can see, this episode can go on and on! Finding fulfillment takes a whole lifetime for many. Talking about all the ins and outs, joys and challenges in one episode is never going to happen. There is so much to finding fulfillment in life. But I do want to touch on just a few more for you to think about.

Gratitude! Being grateful for what you have and living in the present moment! Wow! Can you feel yourself filling up when you think of what you are grateful for?

What about contributing to the lives of others? Whether it’s through acts of kindness, volunteering, mentoring, or simply being there for someone, this can create a profound sense of fulfillment. Just knowing that you’ve made a positive impact on others’ lives can be incredibly rewarding. And it doesn’t have to be on a large scale. It can be doing something for your child, or a neighbor. Saving a rescue dog! Feeding the birds in your yard. Those moments may seem so tiny. But they are the gold in the treasure of living a fulfilling life.

Now let’s think about how being aware and working on your own Health and Well-being brings you fulfillment ! How many days do your feel better about your life when you have taken care of your physical, mental, or emotional well-being?

Oooh, next let’s think about how achievements and success fulfill your soul. Accomplishing a meaningful goal whether big or oh so small, can change the rhythm of your day, your life, your soul. Sometimes for me its achieving a week of making my bed everyday! It’s crazy how proud of myself I am as I walk by my room! Aaah, the little things that fulfill my life!

Now let me share the final part of my being that truly fulfills me. It’s when I feel balanced in life. And really it’s balancing all the things I have spoken about so far.

I try and help my clients and myself strive for some kind of balance between work, relationships, hobbies, fun and relaxation, self growth, meditation, exercise! And I think we all know that this is by far the hardest thing to do. But it’s the crux of a fulfilling life. One minute we may fill our life with our work, the next a relationship, the next our own breaking free and finding ourselves by leaving a job or a relationship. Then there is balance in our family life. All of these individually create who we are. But by balancing it in a truly healthy way that’s when we are truly fulfilled. There is no longer a feeling that something is missing. We are filled. We are full. We are fulfilled!

It’s important to remember that fulfillment is a deeply personal experience. What brings fulfillment to you may be different for someone else. But when you take the time to understand yourself, what truly matters most to you, and you spend each moment pursuing a life that aligns with your values and your heart, then you have found the “rhythm of your life”!

Oh, I am so glad you joined me today. This podcast is truly a part of what fulfills my life. I’m so grateful for my listeners, soul partners on this journey to awareness as we each find the rhythms of our lives.

May the next week fill you with so much happiness, kindness to yourself and others. Eat healthy foods, drink lots of water, do something crazy and fun, fill your mind with lots of positive things and listen to amazing music as you find the rhythm of your soul. Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and look forward to popping back again next time.

35 Doing Dating Differently With Molly Lyda

September 12, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

We are so lucky to have Therapist and Dating Coach Molly Lyda on our show!

We will talk about what women need to do to keep their genuine selves in a new relationship! We will talk about the Queen Energy and how we can manifest that within our relationships! And we will talk about women and self-growth. You can’t get much better than that!

Let’s go!

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