Hello and Welcome back to a Journey To Awareness, I’m your host Shauna Hoffman. Thanks for joining me today! As many of you know, cruises, sailing, or being anywhere near or on the water is my happy place…my home away from home. I swear I was a mermaid in a past life. Or who knows! Maybe I was the Captain of a tall ship or a brilliant female pirate, like Anne Bonny. Whatever got me addicted to the water I am grateful. This got me thinking about what draws us to places to just getaway.  And what kind of getaway do people crave? I ask you… Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time?

Ready? Let’s go…

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

So first let’s break down ME TIME! because I know so many of my listeners struggle to honor themselves and take the breaks that they need to recoup, replenish, revive themselves, and breathe.

And for some of them, it’s not the “quiet time” they need. Its playtime! Remember what it means to play? That’s having fun! Being Creative! Letting loose! Kicking up your heels! Laughing! Socializing! Dancing! Believe me, playtime is just as reviving to your soul as sleeping on a beach or gazing into the waves on the ocean, or reading a book in bed.

In my two businesses, therapy and my travel biz I love to explore what my clients need to be at peace and happy. I have women who spend their days taking so much care of others that they have not even realized how exhausted or on empty they are. And yet, those same women have not had any time for fun in their lives other than playing with their kids.  I have couples whose fun revolves around their kids and have not been on a vacation of their own in years. They have lost touch with all the fun they used to have before their kids were born. I have businesswomen who take their work with them on every vacation they take! They swear they couldn’t get away without their laptop or tablet. God knows what would happen if they missed an email or a call.

How is that downtime?

“DOWNTIME”…. time when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself. Let me repeat that.

DOWNTIME…. is when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself.

I love that when I looked up this phrase the Oxford dictionary says “it’s a time during which a machine, especially a computer, is out of action or unavailable for use.”

So what does this mean for you? When are you out of action or unavailable for use by others? And how much guilt would you have if you decided that you deserve that ME time?

My goal for all of you is that you answer “None! I would have no guilt!”

During what my hubby calls “The Cove Times…during the height of covid lockdown….. people experienced what they thought was downtime. Some were forced into less activity. Yet, so many others had their responsibilities doubled! Taking care of a family, home, and animals and doing this working from home! Not to mention all the stress and fear that surrounded us about staying safe and healthy. What for some was a break… for others was their own tiny hell! Downtime during “the cove times” was not downtime.

So I ask you when was the last time you made a point to have ME time? Time for just ME? When was the last time you chose yourself over everyone else?

I can almost hear the rumblings through the airwaves. “I can’t take time for myself. No one can cover for me.”

Or… “I can take the time but I won’t because people will think I’m selfish.” Really what people? If they love you they would want you to recoup.  Besides, you know my saying… just tell them, “What you think of me is none of my business.” Usually, when my clients tell me this I remind them that no one else can make them feel anything. YOU are the one who is not standing up for yourself and choosing to feel guilty. You are the one choosing to not put yourself first.

ME TIME! Making a moment about just me!

Now back to my first question…  Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time? And do you even know?  When I help my clients both in travel and in therapy plan their ME time I help them look for balance.  If they are going going going, physically active, then I help them see if they need time for their body and mind to relax. And what would that look like for them? A beach? A Cabin in the woods? A balcony on a cruise looking out over the ocean?

Or if they are in a world that keeps them sedentary, behind a desk, or these days on zoom calls all day do they need action, to move, to have fun, high energy to recoup the life in their life? Do they need to dance, or run, or go skiing or sailing!

I have told this story before. But when I was in the last month of getting my Master’s Degree I truly was on empty! A year and a half of school with no breaks, homework late into the night, and writing my thesis paper. Studying for my finals had taken its toll on me. It’s funny, here I was studying to be a psychotherapist and I had lost myself.  Then one day I decided to practice what I was learning.  Check-in… self-awareness… being aware of SELF!

It hit me. I needed to be outside! I had been indoors glued to computers for almost 2 years and I didn’t feel human anymore. So, I asked my friend to take me for a hike in the California mountains. I knew I had so much studying to do. But I also knew that if I didn’t I would not have the bandwidth to do everything I needed to do to graduate.

Se we packed up our water bottles and sandwiches and headed to the mountains. I can’t even tell you what that day was like for me.  The memory of it is like a dream. I think I floated down every path, touched every leaf of every tree, listened for birds singing and stared at the blue blue sky.  When we got to a trickling river I just sat there in silence. The power of mother earth to heal. The sound of water calming my soul.

I reflect on that day so often in my life when I feel out of balance. I ask myself what I need right now to feel balanced. And more than that, what I need right now to feel happy!

There’s a concept! Doing things that make us happy! Make US happy! Not others! What makes YOU happy?

So let’s do a little check-in…. every listener will answer these questions differently.

When was the last time you spent time in nature?

When was the last time you put down your phone or computer and got off all electronics?

When was the last time you talked for an hour face to face with a good friend or your sister, or mom or your partner?

That question is so important. Human contact is what so many of us lost during The Cove Times. Do you crave to be around people right now? To laugh with someone, share your spirit with someone willing to share theirs with you?

Now the opposite!

When was the last time you were by yourself? Sitting in silence with your own thoughts?

If you have been alone…when was the last time you actually listened to your SELF, checked in with your SELF instead of filling your alone time with stuff…. social media, Wordle, and Candy crush?

Now do a body check!

When was the last time you took a nice long walk, or got on a bike, or did yoga or danced?  Or hiked and touched every leaf as you walked by it? Is your body craving action?

Now your mind! When was the last time you actually gave your racing mind a break? Meditated? Put down your to do list. Or just stopped adding to it? Breathed? Silence?

Or on another note…for those who have not had time to stimulate their minds, when was the last time you learned something new? Or began to write that book you have been dreaming of writing? When was the last time you touched your creativity?

All of this is the answer to balance!  All of this is the question I ask my clients when we are trying to find their next ME time vacation! Are they going to Italy and learning Italian along the way? Are they going on a sail to the Caribbean and lying in the sun with a book in hand? Are they going on a writer’s retreat and kicking up their dreams? Are they off on a cruise that has it all? Food, balconies to watch the water, dancing all night, ports of calls to meet new people?  Ok, truly this is why I love cruising! It has it all for whatever mood I’m in. I recently counted up how many days I have been at sea…and I realized I have now spent three years of my life onboard cruise ships. It’s my home away from home. Put this mermaid on the water and I am happy. I am at peace.

Where do you feel at home when you are not at home? What place in the world feels like you just belong?

Here is a quote I love from Oprah…

“Alone Time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own”.

Everyone’s ME time is going to be different.  And each of your me time needs will change moment by moment, day by day, year by year.  The answer to all of the knowingness around your needs is back to the point of this podcast. Self-awareness. Checking in with self, taking your SELF off of remote control. Listening to your heart, your mind, your soul….even your own breath.

I am excited to share that I will be doing a retreat with another amazing woman, Molly Lyda on the Navigator of the Seas for three nights of ME TIME! When we came up with our dream around what this weekend would look like it all came back to the idea that sometimes we just need to say… It’s My Turn!”   So that is what this weekend cruise will all be about. We will be helping each of the mermaids sailing with us to choose to look within. Choose ME.

As Molly says, “Nurturing ourselves with a get-away like this brings SO much possibility into our life! When we take the time to reflect, relax and explore on the inside, we gain clarity around our true desires and we invite more abundance in on the outside.”

I love that. We all know that when we recoup, bring balance back into our lives, and honor ourselves, then we make space for our own dreams to come true.

If you want to join us it is October 7-10, 2022 out of Los Angeles. You can read about it on my website blueoceanretreats.com.  I do hope you join us.

I do hope this episode has brought you the desire to ask yourself… ‘What is it that I NEED RIGHT NOW TO make me happy? “

Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time?

I hope that between now and the next time we meet on the airwaves or on the high seas you honor your SELF. You nurture your SELF! You listen to your SELF!  You CHOOSE “ME!”

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time!