Time

68 Kick it Up, Or Take a Break, What’s Your Me Time?

April 30, 2022 By Shauna

Hello and Welcome back to a Journey To Awareness, I’m your host Shauna Hoffman. Thanks for joining me today! As many of you know, cruises, sailing, or being anywhere near or on the water is my happy place…my home away from home. I swear I was a mermaid in a past life. Or who knows! Maybe I was the Captain of a tall ship or a brilliant female pirate, like Anne Bonny. Whatever got me addicted to the water I am grateful. This got me thinking about what draws us to places to just getaway. And what kind of getaway do people crave? I ask you… Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time?

Ready? Let’s go…

SHOWNOTES:

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman.

So first let’s break down ME TIME! because I know so many of my listeners struggle to honor themselves and take the breaks that they need to recoup, replenish, revive themselves, and breathe.

And for some of them, it’s not the “quiet time” they need. Its playtime! Remember what it means to play? That’s having fun! Being Creative! Letting loose! Kicking up your heels! Laughing! Socializing! Dancing! Believe me, playtime is just as reviving to your soul as sleeping on a beach or gazing into the waves on the ocean, or reading a book in bed.

In my two businesses, therapy and my travel biz I love to explore what my clients need to be at peace and happy. I have women who spend their days taking so much care of others that they have not even realized how exhausted or on empty they are. And yet, those same women have not had any time for fun in their lives other than playing with their kids. I have couples whose fun revolves around their kids and have not been on a vacation of their own in years. They have lost touch with all the fun they used to have before their kids were born. I have businesswomen who take their work with them on every vacation they take! They swear they couldn’t get away without their laptop or tablet. God knows what would happen if they missed an email or a call.

How is that downtime?

“DOWNTIME”…. time when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself. Let me repeat that.

DOWNTIME…. is when you have no responsibility to anyone or anything except yourself.

I love that when I looked up this phrase the Oxford dictionary says “it’s a time during which a machine, especially a computer, is out of action or unavailable for use.”

So what does this mean for you? When are you out of action or unavailable for use by others? And how much guilt would you have if you decided that you deserve that ME time?

My goal for all of you is that you answer “None! I would have no guilt!”

During what my hubby calls “The Cove Times…during the height of covid lockdown….. people experienced what they thought was downtime. Some were forced into less activity. Yet, so many others had their responsibilities doubled! Taking care of a family, home, and animals and doing this working from home! Not to mention all the stress and fear that surrounded us about staying safe and healthy. What for some was a break… for others was their own tiny hell! Downtime during “the cove times” was not downtime.

So I ask you when was the last time you made a point to have ME time? Time for just ME? When was the last time you chose yourself over everyone else?

I can almost hear the rumblings through the airwaves. “I can’t take time for myself. No one can cover for me.”

Or… “I can take the time but I won’t because people will think I’m selfish.” Really what people? If they love you they would want you to recoup. Besides, you know my saying… just tell them, “What you think of me is none of my business.” Usually, when my clients tell me this I remind them that no one else can make them feel anything. YOU are the one who is not standing up for yourself and choosing to feel guilty. You are the one choosing to not put yourself first.

ME TIME! Making a moment about just me!

Now back to my first question… Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time? And do you even know? When I help my clients both in travel and in therapy plan their ME time I help them look for balance. If they are going going going, physically active, then I help them see if they need time for their body and mind to relax. And what would that look like for them? A beach? A Cabin in the woods? A balcony on a cruise looking out over the ocean?

Or if they are in a world that keeps them sedentary, behind a desk, or these days on zoom calls all day do they need action, to move, to have fun, high energy to recoup the life in their life? Do they need to dance, or run, or go skiing or sailing!

I have told this story before. But when I was in the last month of getting my Master’s Degree I truly was on empty! A year and a half of school with no breaks, homework late into the night, and writing my thesis paper. Studying for my finals had taken its toll on me. It’s funny, here I was studying to be a psychotherapist and I had lost myself. Then one day I decided to practice what I was learning. Check-in… self-awareness… being aware of SELF!

It hit me. I needed to be outside! I had been indoors glued to computers for almost 2 years and I didn’t feel human anymore. So, I asked my friend to take me for a hike in the California mountains. I knew I had so much studying to do. But I also knew that if I didn’t I would not have the bandwidth to do everything I needed to do to graduate.

Se we packed up our water bottles and sandwiches and headed to the mountains. I can’t even tell you what that day was like for me. The memory of it is like a dream. I think I floated down every path, touched every leaf of every tree, listened for birds singing and stared at the blue blue sky. When we got to a trickling river I just sat there in silence. The power of mother earth to heal. The sound of water calming my soul.

I reflect on that day so often in my life when I feel out of balance. I ask myself what I need right now to feel balanced. And more than that, what I need right now to feel happy!

There’s a concept! Doing things that make us happy! Make US happy! Not others! What makes YOU happy?

So let’s do a little check-in…. every listener will answer these questions differently.

When was the last time you spent time in nature?

When was the last time you put down your phone or computer and got off all electronics?

When was the last time you talked for an hour face to face with a good friend or your sister, or mom or your partner?

That question is so important. Human contact is what so many of us lost during The Cove Times. Do you crave to be around people right now? To laugh with someone, share your spirit with someone willing to share theirs with you?

Now the opposite!

When was the last time you were by yourself? Sitting in silence with your own thoughts?

If you have been alone…when was the last time you actually listened to your SELF, checked in with your SELF instead of filling your alone time with stuff…. social media, Wordle, and Candy crush?

Now do a body check!

When was the last time you took a nice long walk, or got on a bike, or did yoga or danced? Or hiked and touched every leaf as you walked by it? Is your body craving action?

Now your mind! When was the last time you actually gave your racing mind a break? Meditated? Put down your to do list. Or just stopped adding to it? Breathed? Silence?

Or on another note…for those who have not had time to stimulate their minds, when was the last time you learned something new? Or began to write that book you have been dreaming of writing? When was the last time you touched your creativity?

All of this is the answer to balance! All of this is the question I ask my clients when we are trying to find their next ME time vacation! Are they going to Italy and learning Italian along the way? Are they going on a sail to the Caribbean and lying in the sun with a book in hand? Are they going on a writer’s retreat and kicking up their dreams? Are they off on a cruise that has it all? Food, balconies to watch the water, dancing all night, ports of calls to meet new people? Ok, truly this is why I love cruising! It has it all for whatever mood I’m in. I recently counted up how many days I have been at sea…and I realized I have now spent three years of my life onboard cruise ships. It’s my home away from home. Put this mermaid on the water and I am happy. I am at peace.

Where do you feel at home when you are not at home? What place in the world feels like you just belong?

Here is a quote I love from Oprah…

“Alone Time is when I distance myself from the voices of the world so I can hear my own”.

Everyone’s ME time is going to be different. And each of your me time needs will change moment by moment, day by day, year by year. The answer to all of the knowingness around your needs is back to the point of this podcast. Self-awareness. Checking in with self, taking your SELF off of remote control. Listening to your heart, your mind, your soul….even your own breath.

I am excited to share that I will be doing a retreat with another amazing woman, Molly Lyda on the Navigator of the Seas for three nights of ME TIME! When we came up with our dream around what this weekend would look like it all came back to the idea that sometimes we just need to say… It’s My Turn!” So that is what this weekend cruise will all be about. We will be helping each of the mermaids sailing with us to choose to look within. Choose ME.

As Molly says, “Nurturing ourselves with a get-away like this brings SO much possibility into our life! When we take the time to reflect, relax and explore on the inside, we gain clarity around our true desires and we invite more abundance in on the outside.”

I love that. We all know that when we recoup, bring balance back into our lives, and honor ourselves, then we make space for our own dreams to come true.

If you want to join us it is October 7-10, 2022 out of Los Angeles. You can read about it on my website blueoceanretreats.com. I do hope you join us.

I do hope this episode has brought you the desire to ask yourself… ‘What is it that I NEED RIGHT NOW TO make me happy? “

Kick it up or take a break? What’s your ME time?

I hope that between now and the next time we meet on the airwaves or on the high seas you honor your SELF. You nurture your SELF! You listen to your SELF! You CHOOSE “ME!”

Thank you for letting me into your lives this week and I look forward to popping back in again next time!

49 2020 The Gift Of Time

December 19, 2020 By Shauna

WHAT THIS EPISODES ABOUT…

Hello and Welcome, I’m Shauna Hoffman

This will be the last podcast for the year. I decided to actually take off a few weeks and reboot myself! Rest, relax, clear my mind to allow so much creativity to seep back in as I welcome with open arms, and a few hallelujahs and a few THANK GODs, the year 2021! The last year has been quite the journey for all of us. So I wanted this podcast to be all about how we release 2020 while honoring all that it has brought to us. The good, the bad, the heartache the fear, the changes, the new closeness, and reality checks, and every other crazy emotion that we have all been experiencing. For many, it has been upheaval, sadness, illness business loss and so much stress. For others it’s become an opportunity for change, letting go of all that we thought we knew and all that was our “quote-unquote” normal. And for many of us, it’s so much of all of those things in a fricking big mess of what the hell! But I have to say, there is an interesting phenomenon that happened this year that doesn’t happen often. It is a rare shared experience with the world, with other people from other countries, and cultures, and with all of our neighbors in our own towns, across the street, in cities across our own countries. It has been one helluva year.

If you listened to the last podcast with the Amazing Britt Bolnick I asked her how we look forward to 2021. I loved her answer. “We need to embrace what was good in 2020, what I’m grateful for. Then look at what I want to do differently.” So there is another shout out to listen to podcast episode 46 “Keep the gratitude flowing!”.

I also had an interesting conversation with someone that believes that sometimes the pendulum has to swing in another direction to right itself in the end. There is no question that the political pendulum is swinging, the concept of work is swinging, the care we take of our emotional and physical selves is swinging!

I know for me personally, my business pendulum has been hard at work all over the place! Many of you know that one of my absolute passions is taking people on retreats on the high seas or to the Caribbean! Art trips to Cuba! Writers Cruises! Women’s retreats! One side of me is a passionate world traveler who loves to experience people and cultures that I have never seen before, and then to share these experiences with as many people as I can! It really is an offshoot to my therapy practice for I believe we all grow exponentially when we experience other cultures and see the world with a new lens. Travel is the best way to shake up your norm!

Well let’s put it this way….until this damn covid grounded all of us! My life and my business were shaken to the core. The travel business came to a screeching halt. But what it gave me in return was something I can never truly explain and yet we can all relate to. It gave me the gift of time. Grounding all of my travels gave me the opportunity to be here when my therapy clients needed me most. When the travel pendulum swung all the way in a scary direction, my therapy practice swung the opposite way and it all balanced out.

With telehealth, I was able to continue seeing women, families, and couples! The anxiety and stress that everyone is feeling through so much change and loss has created a world of clients reaching out to me. Many who have not been in contact for years! I was given the blessing of helping others. With every call I got, I knew why I needed to be doing what I love so much, healing the wounds, hurts, and fears of others. Covid has affected each of my clients differently. I know it has affected each of my podcast listeners differently, too. But Covid lockdown gave me the time to be here for those who need me.

Aaahh the gift of time. It gave me this podcast. I launched it in February literally weeks before Covid hit. I have to be honest with myself. I had no idea of how much work it would take to create, record, edit, and promote each podcast. I know without a doubt that had my travel business been going strong I would never have been able to continue on a weekly basis. Being able to share my thoughts and insights with all of you through this podcast has been profound on more levels than I can name. Not only has it helped many of you. It has helped me.

I have so many personal gifts from 2020! I have been able to help my grandkids with their homework via zoom! We definitely never thought of that before the craziness of virtual school! And though it has broken my heart for every child learning this way and for the parents and teachers struggling with it I have tried to see ANY silver lining! I think that there will be a new vision of teaching that comes out of this. I know from families that I see… that parents have been able to witness first hand any struggles their children have learning. Parents and teachers will have new eyes to see the needs of every student now. I believe! Although side note! I am not digging the New Math!

Another silver lining! The crazy workforce! So many clients and friends are working from home! Some love it, some hate it. There will surely be a shakeup of how companies view this option in the future! They will have a new paradigm when a single mother or father needs to work from home. There are talks with some companies for a 4 day in-office work week and another day at home! This “offering” that 2020 handed us will change the workforce in the US forever. What it will be? Who knows! But you know the saying, there is no going back. I believe that working from home has shown so many families what they were missing. Both at home with their families and getting away from home! What its going to look like in 2021 is going to be a mystery yet to unfold!

AAAAH And our pets! This is huge change for me and so many other animal-loving humans. Mine are getting so much attention it’s nuts! In the past, they knew when I took out a suitcase that I was leaving. Well, they have not seen a suitcase in 9 months! Shelters and rescues have had an influx of adoptions! People are home and can find time for a new pet. And believe me those pets have been like little therapists for so many people! I only hope that when people go back to work they plan properly for the care of these new pets. If you are a pet owner at home for a while make sure that you start to think about a healthy transition for your pets to life after covid! That’s going to be an adjustment for humans and pets alike!

The lessons around the world in 2020 have been so profound. From Black Lives Matter to reality checks on the importance of our planet and science, medicine, and health care. Again, we are watching THE PENDULUM SWINGING TO CORRECT ITSELF.

And we lost some amazingly strong role models this year, like Ruth Bader Ginsburg and John Lewis, groundbreaking artists and musicians, amazing athletes, Kobe. But with everyone, we were each reminded of our own mortality. And our own purposes here on this earth. What is our purpose? Everyone has their own paradigm of how to judge your self worth and reasons for being here. But I find that with every New Year that is the most hidden and unhidden question most people ask themselves. Why am I here and what am I going to do differently in the next year to fill my heart, my passions, and my soul?

I was asked to do a private seminar for a group in my town. So I decided to create a workshop of the same for my podcast listeners. I’ll tell you more about that in a few minutes. But for now, I wanted to share my wishlist for you for 2021!

My first wish is that you send off the year 2020 with love. I wish that you could make a list of the beautiful things that have happened to you this year. The lessons learned, The growth from the sadness. The growth from the joys and the wonderful realization that you just may have needed the gift of time.

I wish for you that you embrace the lessons learned and truly never lose track of the insight you have gained.

I wish for you that you can hug all the people that you love in 2021! Laugh with them, party with them, and celebrate all the beautiful milestones of your life together. It may be later in 2021. But I wish that it happens just when you need it most!

I wish for you so much health and the realization that your body and breath are sacred. Never to be taken for granted again.

I wish for you walks in nature on beaches and mountains, watching the sunset and embracing every sunrise you have.

I wish for you travel to amazing places filled with culture and new people, food, art, and music that you have craved to fill your soul.

I wish for you peaceful sleep knowing that our country is on its own path to healing. And if you are out of the US that your beautiful homeland is healing and mending from the challenges of 2020.

I wish for you the glory of your own self-awareness journey. That you stay on course! That you do the things that help you let go of past pains and embrace all of life around you. That you meditate and get lots of sleep, honor your body, and home. But most importantly I wish that you never give up learning and digging deep within your soul to find your own paradise.

I wish for you that you KNOW without a doubt that you deserve it!

Remember what Tinkerbell says in Peter Pan- All it takes is a little Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust!

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Here is the workshop that I will be offering on January 16th. I am making it really affordable for everyone and anyone. Just a $20 donation in these crazy hard times. I have also been asked if you can gift it and yes you can! But most importantly if you can’t afford it just shoot me an email and I will gift it to you!

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